This is how you will feel if you are ever infected with the virus known as love. It is not worth it; all it does is cause suffering.
What is Love?
- Thread starter Pink_Pirate
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i am fourteen and i have been in love several times. i have kissed, made out, and some other things im not saying... but any way love is the most beautiful emotion i have ever felt. right now i take pills to balance the chemicals in the brain so i'm not so depressed. actually all it does is keep suicide at bay. but some things are caused by chemicals but the release of those chemicals are caused by the emotions of love.
Sorry, didn't voice it quite right. I meant that the feeling of bonding is interpreted as "love". Also, I actually see no problem in the endorphin high, it's nice, a natural bodily reaction and selling your possessions or those of others will not help in getting more. As for the mystificaion: it makes good literature (if implemented well). Not sure about the desexualisation though, desire and lust seem to be making a comeback as part of the equation, not too sure though.Pink_Pirate said:
Ah, I must disagree! You are NOT discussing romantic love. You are discussing Eros-passionate love.Pink_Pirate said:
The adage is "Romance ends where sex begins" thus old romance tales ended with the first kiss. It is a side effect of today's society that sex and romance get clumped together. They are not the same.
Moreover, sex is merely exercise if there is no love in it. With love you can feel like you are as close to touching the soul of another person as it is possible to do. Without love, it becomes a physical act that may prove uncomfortable and unpleasant.
The moment of attraction is indeed valid for your definition. A chemical reaction to what we perceive are desirable genes to keep our race going. Yet as a k-select species (long gestation, few offspring, high investment) it is important to note that humans do far better if raised by both parents. So some of this investment must also come from the male if he wishes his genes/offspring to be successful.
And there may be more validity to "it takes a village to raise a child" than we realize. Humans are a social animal, that is, we do best in groups-especially family groups who have related DNA. Having an extended network of family or close friends to help bear the costs of raising a child (physical/mental demands) can ALSO aid in providing the offspring a better chance to do well socially and reproduce in turn. Yet in other social animals such as wolves, only the alphas generally get to reproduce. So why should the rest put up with being forced to NOT follow their "instincts" as you would have it be said? Because fewer pups means more food and a better chance of survival. Pups by the most healthy, best hunters, and most socially dominant animals will also have the best fitness.
By supporting the pack they insure the family's genes survive even if they do not directly pass on their own DNA. Yet wolves also exhibit bonding rituals in shows of affection and games. So why? What purpose is "love" here? The bonding rituals helps keep the pack together so that they will all reap the benefits of having more hunters, more baby-sitters, and be able to take down larger game.
In humans, "love" may initially be a chemical, but long-term it is a choice. We still love our kids even when they ding the car, get bad grades, color on the walls. But we may not like them very much at that point! If mere attraction held us, we would not stay on to deal with the serious duties of raising the offspring we create. But again, we are k-select not r-select, failing to care for our rare (compared to hamsters and rats) offspring would be disastrous. Thus, we have developed our intellect to make up for the lack. Sex for women is known to create a stronger bond than it does for men (generally). For men it is a sign of respect, a mental choice of commitment to to stay in a relationship past the initial blush.
(This is a wiring thing due to males producing a large number of sex-cells and having a built-in desire to share them out while females are wired to produce FAR fewer and have the greater physical burden of carrying the offspring. Thus they are very cautious about what DNA they choose as well as what male will care for her and her offspring during the more difficult stages of pregnancy. Mind you, this came about long ago when humans had more difficult things to worry about in order to survive than tax forms.)
And in the end, you can not easily separate the chemical cause from the emotional effects. Knowing how the body reacts to a cut does not keep it from hurting. Likewise, understanding that chemicals in the brain cause "love at first sight" does not lessen the impact! It is one thing to intellectually understand something but it is another to experience it. And no amount of study can take the place of that.
(lol, I ramble extra when I'm tired. But the exercise was fun.)
Hebrew words for love:
ahab - spontaneous, impulsive love.
hesed - deliberate choice of affection and kindness.
raham - to have compassion, brotherly love
Greek words for love:
eros - sexual, sensual, impulsive love
philia - love for friend, spouse or children
agape - unconditional love, "how God loves us"
The English word for love does not do the concept justice. Humanity, especially when dealing with our linguistic ways of communication, regularly seems to have a difficult time understanding context. English is incredibly representative of this. (which is unfortunate that I only speak english, oh and bad english but who'se counting) A "catch-all" word is easily misinterpreted and can mean many different things to many different people.
The type of "love" that many younger individuals here have listed to me, is in fact infatuation. I know that my personal experiences do not match their own, but scientifically speaking, maturity is gained through age and experience. True understanding of love in a sense of "true love" and not a "hormone raging love" is something that is learned over a period of time. As was stated before, "true love" is in fact a choice. Unconditional love does exist, though it is rare anymore because of the throw away choices individuals are so quick to make.
Many people are now willfully ignorant of consequences when dealing with not only love, but living in and of itself. As much as sex and sensuality plays a part in romantic love, it has been trivialized in many ways. It has been reverted to a proverbial "nose blowing" in this day and age. It is just another bodily function devoid of emotion and the like to so many people.
Sex and the like, exists in this state for far too many now. Instead of a deep, emotional and physical bond between two monogamous individuals who have pledged their lives to each other, it has been a victim of desensitizing.
Jealousy, as much as it is a bio-chemical reaction, as long as taken to a realistic degree, is in fact a good trait. It not only helps only our own genes to mix with our chosen mates, but also shows our devotion to the individual. I find satisfaction in the fact when my wife stares down a woman she percieves is flirting with me (since I'm completely dense to any of that, don't ask >_<) as well as I know she finds satisfaction that I do the same when another guy is making passes at her. It is a showing of our devotion to one another and our interest in one another. It goes beyond our bio-chemical reactions.
Ok, this rambling has gone too far and I really shouldn't let my fingers do the typing for me instead of my brain when I'm tired.
ahab - spontaneous, impulsive love.
hesed - deliberate choice of affection and kindness.
raham - to have compassion, brotherly love
Greek words for love:
eros - sexual, sensual, impulsive love
philia - love for friend, spouse or children
agape - unconditional love, "how God loves us"
The English word for love does not do the concept justice. Humanity, especially when dealing with our linguistic ways of communication, regularly seems to have a difficult time understanding context. English is incredibly representative of this. (which is unfortunate that I only speak english, oh and bad english but who'se counting) A "catch-all" word is easily misinterpreted and can mean many different things to many different people.
The type of "love" that many younger individuals here have listed to me, is in fact infatuation. I know that my personal experiences do not match their own, but scientifically speaking, maturity is gained through age and experience. True understanding of love in a sense of "true love" and not a "hormone raging love" is something that is learned over a period of time. As was stated before, "true love" is in fact a choice. Unconditional love does exist, though it is rare anymore because of the throw away choices individuals are so quick to make.
Many people are now willfully ignorant of consequences when dealing with not only love, but living in and of itself. As much as sex and sensuality plays a part in romantic love, it has been trivialized in many ways. It has been reverted to a proverbial "nose blowing" in this day and age. It is just another bodily function devoid of emotion and the like to so many people.
Sex and the like, exists in this state for far too many now. Instead of a deep, emotional and physical bond between two monogamous individuals who have pledged their lives to each other, it has been a victim of desensitizing.
Jealousy, as much as it is a bio-chemical reaction, as long as taken to a realistic degree, is in fact a good trait. It not only helps only our own genes to mix with our chosen mates, but also shows our devotion to the individual. I find satisfaction in the fact when my wife stares down a woman she percieves is flirting with me (since I'm completely dense to any of that, don't ask >_<) as well as I know she finds satisfaction that I do the same when another guy is making passes at her. It is a showing of our devotion to one another and our interest in one another. It goes beyond our bio-chemical reactions.
Ok, this rambling has gone too far and I really shouldn't let my fingers do the typing for me instead of my brain when I'm tired.