what IS love?

[larysalove]

Love is liking someone (being emotionally attracted to them), lusting for someone (being physically attracted to someone), and trusting someone. Its giving someone else the possibility to destroy you, but trusting that they won't. Being willing to just give and give and give without wanting anything in return. Caring about someone more then you ever thought you could, more then you care about yourself.

And when you're in love... you just know. Its more than liking someone, its more than wanting someone, its more than... you just know. You can feel it.

Of course, I'm talking about romantic love. Familial or platonic love are different in some aspects.

But romantic love is wonderful. Much more so if its returned.

 

[dystopiaINC]

I was talking about romantic love, and also other love.

And really? When you're around the object of your affection you're in pain? How is that love?

to be completely honest with you, yes being with her does cause me pain. you don't really know the situation do you. if i was free to express how i feel to her and to attempt a relationship with her it wouldn't be painful to be with her at all would it? no.

when i'm with her i actually am rather happy, we're very friendly and can talk about almost anything. and if i can ignore certain things about the situation i can enjoy myself quite a bit. hell i went to Disney with her on a class trip. you know what i remember the most about the whole 4 day trip?

Spoiler

what her arm felt like when she hugged me, what her scream sounds like on a roller coaster, what her hair smelled like when i was close to her in in a crowded line. and the way her face would light up when ever i made eye contact, and how she would smile at me all the time. for those 4 days i fell in love and was in fucking heaven. it was around the third day when my senses hit me and i realized i couldn't ever tell her how i felt unless something major changed and i got an opening.

now i have to hide it from her and i have to watch her be happy with another guy, a guy i have always disliked even before i met her because he's an asshole. and being with her when i can't ignore the situation, like when she talkes about him, is very painful. the little friendly things she does can be almost heart-wrenching but i won't tell her that. it would hurt our friendship and she would feel like she had done something wrong to me, when all she did was be herself. so yes, being with the girl of my affections does cause me pain.

 

[Nieroshai]

simple question really... how do you know what love is... and if your in love?

Love = Like + Lust + Trust.

Yay! First.

Ahem, anyway, that was how my spouse described love when we first started dating.

Did you need more than that? I can expand on the theory, if you like.

Cute and witty way of saying it, but respectfully no. Love can easily exist without lust (thank GOD or I'd be guilty of mental incest), yes trust is indeed required, and liking is part of the package, but I think there's more to it. To me, love isn't a feeling. Love is a relationship. I can love someone and be insanely pissed at them. I can love someone and simply want to spend some time away. I love my family, but dammit I'm tired of their nagging and feel so much better on my own.I love my fiancee always, includng when she's being a *****. In fact, I'd say in those circumstances, no I DON'T like those people all the time. But I love them unconditionally nonetheless. Beyond "relationship," the best way I can describe love is feeling like no matter what happens and no matter what you really get out of your circumstances, love is needing that person in your life because they've become a part of who you are. Love is a relationship in that loving someone indicates that that person is necessary to you. Sex is fun but unnecessary. Liking each other isn't always possible, everyone gets mad for some reason and couples get in bitter fights all the time and during those fights they do not like each other at all. Even trust can be broken, but it's the persisting love that mends that broken trust where otherwise it would remain shattered forever. I'd quote a verse because it's relevant here, but I know I'd get trolled down the line, but there you go.

 

[tthor]

i know this is probably the 100th time, but-

♫Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt. No♫

couldn't help myself

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Cute and witty way of saying it, but respectfully no. I love my family, **snip for length and incest joke**

Except we clearly aren't talking about that kind of love. The OP is asking about being "in love" not love as a overall concept.

I stand by my definition.

 

[Nieroshai]

Cute and witty way of saying it, but respectfully no. I love my family, **snip for length and incest joke**

Except we clearly aren't talking about that kind of love. The OP is asking about being "in love" not love as a overall concept.

I stand by my definition.

And I stand by my definition. For one big reason: I AM ON TOPIC. Did I not mention my fiancee? Or did my mushy prose give you the impression we don't have sex?

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

Depends on the type:
Romantic: Lust, desire to procreate, etc
Family: Looking after and hoping so see the success of others who are very close to you (as in, sharing the same genes, parents, raised together, etc)
Parent-Child: Duty to protect, raise and add a functional member of the species to the population.
Friends: Fulfills yearning for company, keeping similar people to you close.

Flawed definitions: yes. Do I care: barely.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Cute and witty way of saying it, but respectfully no. I love my family, **snip for length and incest joke**

Except we clearly aren't talking about that kind of love. The OP is asking about being "in love" not love as a overall concept.

I stand by my definition.

And I stand by my definition. For one big reason: I AM ON TOPIC. Did I not mention my fiancee? Or did my mushy prose give you the impression we don't have sex?

I didn't say you were off topic about the fiancee - just everything else.

Actually, what I question is your definition of Like. I still like people when I'm fighting with them - I can be pissed off, but that doesn't change the fact that I like them. I can be frustrated with them, and I can be a mean ***** and want to hurt them, but I still like them. If I didn't, there wouldn't be any reason to argue - I'd just walk away.

 

[Rigs83]

from what I here
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh

Spoiler: Haddaway

P.S.
I checked the lyrics but I swear he was saying "What is love, waiting at her feet, waiting at her feet...no more"
Funny

 

[Rigs83]

simple question really... how do you know what love is... and if your in love?

Love is when you bang your head against the wall trying to make someone happy and failing over and over again and feeling more and more miserable by the whole experience.

 

[Nieroshai]

Cute and witty way of saying it, but respectfully no. I love my family, **snip for length and incest joke**

Except we clearly aren't talking about that kind of love. The OP is asking about being "in love" not love as a overall concept.

I stand by my definition.

And I stand by my definition. For one big reason: I AM ON TOPIC. Did I not mention my fiancee? Or did my mushy prose give you the impression we don't have sex?

I didn't say you were off topic about the fiancee - just everything else.

Actually, what I question is your definition of Like. I still like people when I'm fighting with them - I can be pissed off, but that doesn't change the fact that I like them. I can be frustrated with them, and I can be a mean ***** and want to hurt them, but I still like them. If I didn't, there wouldn't be any reason to argue - I'd just walk away.

"Like" is too broad a term for me to specify it like that, so my bad on that point. Anyway, the thing about my fiancee and my friends is, maybe this is a cultural thing, in which case it's relative, but because I love them they are family to me. Sure we're not blood, but you know.

I also, to get purely on topic of "dating" love or whatnot, I think we too easily cheapen the word "love" in the way we use it. I like how in Latin there are different words that all fall under the English umbrella of "love" but are completely distinct things. It's been at least 8 years since Latin class, so forgive me if I don't use the words. There's love, which is the bond. Then there's lust. Then there's "love" of things ("I love rocky road"). Then there's "love" of the spiritual or holy or as Socrates would say, "the good." Not all of these things are properly defined as love, but love has culturally become an umbrella term for "I have positive feelings about." And to be honest, no matter how tenderly you have sex, you are not making love. You are having sex. So tell me; are we talking about love, sex, things, or goodness?

 

[Ldude893]

baby don't hurt me,
don't hurt me,
no more...

Baby dont hurt me! Dont hurt me! No more!

Oh, I don't know why you're not there
I give you my love, but you don't care
So what is right and what is wrong
Gimme a sign

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh

Spoiler: Haddaway

I love this forum so much.

OT: Personally, I think love is just a strong attachment to someone beyond simple association, requiring some aspect of devotion and interaction with another person.

 

[ImperialSunlight]

simple question really... how do you know what love is... and if your in love?

Love does not exist. It is merely a concept created by humanity that innevitably causes its own demise. My advice? Don't love. It's bad for you. It hinders the pursuit of truth.