what is maturity to you?

[Combustion Kevin]

I know the concept of maturity differs from culture to culture, and individuals of course, but things get real tricky when people consider maturity as an important trait but have no measurable or written description of what it is.

I've heard many girls say that they want a boyfriend that is mature, meaning that they have a job and don't do or say anything that she thinks are embarrassing or childlike.
Or that being self-sufficiant equals maturity, having a house and a car and no dependability on anyone.

Some people say that maturity means that you are completely in control of your emotions, you're no longer a dumbass teenager that does reckless or umpulsive things, you think them through and act responsibly.
I also heard it said that maturity is grounded in sexuality, as being part of the "productive" part of the population raising your kids.

I asked this question to a friend of mine and he said that there is no point of maturity, it's not some status you obtain, but it's more or less an estimate of immature->not very mature->quite mature->very mature.
Personality traits would indicate just exactly where you stand.

And other people say that it is completely irrelevant, and you should enjoy life without judging someone for being who they are, which may also be considered a very mature standpoint.

so, what is maturity to you, and how important is it?

 

[Satan]

I think of mature people as people who can understand more serious matters.

 

[aba1]

I find maturity to be the point in which you stop looking at how things affect you and instead how they effect everyone.

 

[Cazza]

You do the right thing. Even when you want to do something else.

Examples
Could be as simple as answering someones question rather than making a joke about it.
Or
Helping someone do the dishes when you're in the middle of a game.

When day to day you do that. That is when you are mature.

 

[JoJo]

Something to be avoided at all costs.

 

[omega 616]

I consider it to be when you face up to stuff, you don't blow off work cos you got drunk the night before.... You don't even get drunk, maybe drink but not passed out in a gutter.

You don't need anybody else, either for money or emotional support or anything else. You think about others before yourself but don't people please.

You don't blindly follow or dominate, know when to bend and when to be firm.

When you can discuss stuff without name calling and being able to see the other person's stance and be respectful about it

 

[Vault101]

have a sense of humour more sophisticated than dick or body fluid jokes

not self centered and understand how your actions affect others

 

[thesilentman]

I find maturity to be the ability to act as a true role-model.

A good way that I figure this out is by asking people what they think of (insert controversial topic here). If they consider all the aspects and keep a cool mind and argument, they are mature, even if their argument is wrong.

 

[sextus the crazy]

Understanding the consequences of one's actions and accounting for them.

 

[Lionsfan]

Something to be avoided at all costs.

Maturity doesn't have to mean "being super-serious all the time".

It can just be knowing how to act in certain circumstances. Like say a funeral, don't go around complaining about how uncomfortable your shoes are

 

[Palademon]

For me maturity is being old enough to know you don't want to grow up.

 

[LarenzoAOG]

The moment I realized I was mature was when someone handed me a baby, instead of thinking "Oh, cute baby," I thought, "I better not drop this child, it may die," at that time I knew I was an adult.

 

[janjotat]

Being able to think about and deal with darker issues (i.e. rape)

 

[Indecipherable]

The moment I realized I was mature was when someone handed me a baby, instead of thinking "Oh, cute baby," I thought, "I better not drop this child, it may die," at that time I knew I was an adult.

I think even juveniles understand such a basic premise. I sincerely doubt that's the litmus paper test appropriate to decide maturity.

Maturity to me now means dealing with adult stuff and being responsible and reasonable. I think it's better to find examples rather than some broad definition...

 

[Indecipherable]

I know the concept of maturity differs from culture to culture, and individuals of course, but things get real tricky when people consider maturity as an important trait but have no measurable or written description of what it is.

I've heard many girls say that they want a boyfriend that is mature, meaning that they have a job and don't do or say anything that she thinks are embarrassing or childlike.
Or that being self-sufficiant equals maturity, having a house and a car and no dependability on anyone.

Some people say that maturity means that you are completely in control of your emotions, you're no longer a dumbass teenager that does reckless or umpulsive things, you think them through and act responsibly.
I also heard it said that maturity is grounded in sexuality, as being part of the "productive" part of the population raising your kids.

I asked this question to a friend of mine and he said that there is no point of maturity, it's not some status you obtain, but it's more or less an estimate of immature->not very mature->quite mature->very mature.
Personality traits would indicate just exactly where you stand.

And other people say that it is completely irrelevant, and you should enjoy life without judging someone for being who they are, which may also be considered a very mature standpoint.

so, what is maturity to you, and how important is it?

Just to dissect this post, I don't really see any of those statements as examples of maturity. Maturity isn't a matter of possessions but more an emotional/psychological state.

1. Having a job doesn't make you mature. That should be pretty clear as people begin work at 14 or so in Australia and most certainly are not mature.
2. Avoiding saying embarassing things doesn't make you mature. We'll all be in our 60s, 70s and 80s and make embarassing slips of the tongue. We'll be doing it all our lives.
3. Self sufficient, such as a house and car, doesn't make you 'mature'. Though I'd say you most certainly are not self sufficient, as you are somewhat at the mercy of your employer and your skillset and capabilities of finding a new job if things go pear shaped. People have houses and cars and still abuse children, fail to pay their bills, have their homes repossessed, commit crime, etc. etc. Again, I don't see possessions as an acquisition of maturity.
4. Completely in control of your emotions is a myth. I've never met anyone who is. It's just a part of our biology. We do learn how to express them in more socially acceptable means as we grow more mature, but that is more of a way we present our feelings and interact rather than some unrealistic "complete control" hoax.
5. Sexuality/being a part of the contributing population can't be part of maturity. There are many parents who choose not to have children (that number is growing), or gay couples who for obvious reasons will not contribute to the population pool.

Just some thoughts.

 

[LarenzoAOG]

The moment I realized I was mature was when someone handed me a baby, instead of thinking "Oh, cute baby," I thought, "I better not drop this child, it may die," at that time I knew I was an adult.

I think even juveniles understand such a basic premise. I sincerely doubt that's the litmus paper test appropriate to decide maturity.

Maturity to me now means dealing with adult stuff and being responsible and reasonable. I think it's better to find examples rather than some broad definition...

A juvenile understands that stuff, but that's not immediately the first thing they think. Also I'd say juveniles understand that being mature "means dealing with adult stuff and being responsible and reasonable."

 

[Dracthor]

Physically maturity would be the age that food is ready for eating or when a creature is able to reproduce.
The state of mind however would be when one is able to fully comprehend all the effects of any action, long term and short term. Though because it is impossible to make everyone happy, a bit of self interest (or selflessness) needs to be mixed in with the mature thinking in order to not piss everyone off.

 

[AlbertoDeSanta]

Knowing when to act foolish, and when not to act foolish.

 

[Gennadios]

My idea of maturity is seeing and knowing enough to have a solid perspective of where one currently stands.

In my case, I once held a job that wasn't particularly glorious by any stretch of the imagination, but it paid way above market wage for what I was doing. The organization got progressively worse and eventually I just said fuck it, stepped down, and took my savings to travel. The travel was great but the next two years were just a miserable cesspit of nothing working out. Eventually I landed a job at the same shitty organization, different department, pay slightly better and still above market wage for what I was doing.

I swore bloody oaths to never return when it was the only job I ever held. Still not glorious, still a very screwed up corporate dynamic, but I'm just glad to be back where I started. Perspective.

I've only started considering myself mature 4 weeks ago, and I'll be turning 30 this year....