What is the drunkest you have ever been?

[rayen020]

either the time we had a party at my brother-in-law's apartment and i got drunk on jaeger bombs and beer pong, some things that happened.
-i puked once.
-i walked around without pants. (though i had underwear on thank god)
-i made snow angels without a shirt on
-i began to have sex with my girlfriend before suddenly stopping, ripping a really long fart and passing out still inside her.

i only remember doing one of those.
Or the time i experienced heaven hill vodka.

-i (allegedly) said The Princess Bride is bad movie.
-i did a load of dishes so i could puke in the sink without dirtying anything.
-i thought i was going to die and drank something like a gallon of water straight from the sink tap by positioning my face under the faucet.
-i did a speed play of a random map in age mythology which led to me mumbling incoherently for hour about fighting ancient evil gods.

i remember none of those.

EDIT; one other time. it wasn't the drunkest i've been but it's a funny story.
I was playing gunbound one night and it just wasn't fun enough. so i started doing vodka shots. I was up to ten, when my girlfriend called.
"Can you come and pick me up from work?"
"Sure," i replied. All of those shots had been taken sitting down. I grabbed my keys and stood up.
"Ummm... nevermind you're gonna have to find a different ride. I'm a little drunk."
I was passed out on the floor with my keys and phone in hand next to the computer when she got home.

 

[Cowabungaa]

Two weeks ago I drank to the point of just not getting sick. Which meant almost a whole bottle of Jagermeister and a decent bit of whiskey.

It wasn't a very fun experience either, as I was drowning some...unfortunate feelings all on my own. On the other hand, it did make playing Max Payne 3 more interesting. It's easier to connect with the game's drunk and cynical bastard of a main character when you're a drunk and cynical bastard yourself.

And I was actually better at it than sober. That was interesting. The day afterwards was only annoying, but enough to consider it a punishment. Which I deserved.

 

[sky14kemea]

I hate drunk people they think they are funny when they are not. Consequently I don't drink. Never have never will.

what a great story for a "drunkest you've ever been" thread :/
just because you dont drink doesnt mean you have to go round being a morally uptight twat

Well that was a little passive aggressive. Not sure how that was "morally uptight" morals don't have anything to do with why I don't drink, so I have no idea what you mean. If you want to drink fine but I don't like to, and don't expect me to hang around if there are a bunch of drunk people.

He may have phrased it poorly, but has a good point. Why did you post in a thread about drunk stories if you don't like drunk people, or drinking? It's best to stay away from those kind of things.

 

[Quesa]

My one alcoholic drink was a sip of the cheapest, nastiest champagne at my wedding. My brother refused to drink with me, I'm so going to stiff him at his wedding. At least his toast was good :

"I got $100, my brother got a wife; I'll let you decide who got the better deal.."
*brother-in-law starts chanting my brother's name*

 

[TheSteeleStrap]

It was the only time I have gotten sick from alcohol. So now tequila and I aren't friends anymore.

captcha: "capital gain" not so much

 

[shaggybear]

i would tell you my drunkest moment, but i dont remember it. but apparently it was a carton of beer, a couple of jagerbombs and 10 or so wiskey shots. so yeah.

 

[mortalsatsuma]

Lightweights. Got absolutely trashed about 4 years ago playing "Ring of fire" with some old friends. We had loads of 50% strength vodka and were basically downing that stuff like water. I only have flashbacks to that day. Playing guitar hero, badly, throwing up in a toilet, being driven home, lying in my bed and then going to hospital. My parents thought I was having a fit. I was 16 at the time and had a history of medical illness so they assumed it was a fit and not alcohol poisoning. Long story short, they called an ambulance, went to hospital and after being on a drip for a couple hours I was sober and was discharged at like 3AM. Didn't drink for a week after that.

 

[hazabaza1]

6 Koppabergs made me somewhat tipsy. Kinda drowsy and laughed easily.

 

[Formica Archonis]

Hmmm.... A slight buzz.

Got nothin'.

 

[RanD00M]

I've only gotten really drunk once, but I went into a blackout and filled the sink with puke, puked in the toilet and the bathtub quite heavily. Didn't have a headache the following day surprisingly.
To be fair the fact that I did puke so much probably saved my life since I drank some 800ml of vodka dry.

 

[Iron Criterion]

When I turned eighteen I was still fairly new to drinking, so I wasn't sure of my limits. During a two minute period I downed eighteen shots of whisky bought for me by my friends. I was fine for about half an hour, where it then me like a brick wall. Now most of this is based on what my friends told me and vague memories, distorted by the drink and by time.

I went out onto the smoking balcony and told a girl in my English class that "I loved her" despite her being an uptight, pretentious twat. Afterwards I fell onto a drinks-bin, knocking it over and was immediately thrown out. Angry, I started rolling on the road and broke down as I asked (whilst weeping) a friend about where 'the cactus Pokémon' was and why it wouldn't talk to me. I had cut my hands and knees from bits of gravel and glass on the road, and threw up.

A while later and I was still waiting for a particular friend and realized I needed a piss, so I tried getting back in. The bouncers told me to clear off, thusly I was forced to void my bladder down some grotty alley. Unfortunately I was caught by a police patrol who then chased me, and unlucky for me I had finished urinating so I completely soaked my jeans.

I ran into a crowd gathered outside of the club, and tried some 'Assassin's Creed' style crowd blending action, but really I fooled no one. The police caught me and tried to issue me an on the spot fine, and in what was intended to be an epic moment I tried to give a rousing speech about the evils of fascism. In reality I think I mentioned racism and slurred something about James Bond.

I woke up in a friend's bed; soaked in piss, hungover, cut and bruised and with an £80 fine.

 

[DanielBrown]

Once I left a party at 1 am and walked home. I lived around 15 minutes tops from there.
At 5 am my mother hears me trying to get in through the front door(we lived on the third floor), but I couldn't get get the key in. She figured I'd get it open eventually and went back to bed. After ten minutes and still no signs of me she looked again and noticed that I had decided to sleep outside. She came down and dragged me up. Woke up in my own puke with no memories since I left the apartement.

Though I'm fairly sure I was drugged at that party. Got offered whiskey by some shady fucker.
Still, I wonder what the hell I did during those four hours...

 

[Mafoobula]

Nothing in my stomach, no tolerance from being a social drinker, and Rumple Minz 100 proof peppermint schnapps. And World of Warcraft.
I played alright, but then again, I was a mage. A person in the middle of a violent epileptic seizure could bang on the keyboard in their convulsions, and they would still get decent DPS.
Anyway, after falling down on my way back from taking a successful leak - I was so proud of myself for hitting the bowl - I realized I was entirely too wasted, it was late, and some very smart part of my subconscious must have taken over, because after making it back to my computer, I told my guild mates I was drunk, apologized profusely while simultaneously thanking them profusely for putting up with my drunk ass, bailed, shut down, and passed out.
Then I threw up. On the carpet, myself (in a robe) and the couch. Then I passed right back out.
In the morning, I only had a small headache, mercifully. Actually, I woke up feeling like it was the best night of sleep I'd ever had. I surveyed the damage, cleaned up, and threw my robe in the wash. I logged on, apologized some more to my guild mates, and life went on. I had only drank about a 1/3-ish of that bottle, that night, and I haven't had a drop of it since.

 

[Shoqiyqa]

The only honest answer for almost any ex-military: I can't remember.

I have memories of telling someone who was searching for a belt that they could use the one in my trousers, and pointing to the far corner of the room where they were, of a woman spanking me with her hairbrush in the kitchen, of the whole room twirling around my head when I lay down, of realising the two of us had emptied a litre bottle of vodka between us and of waking up in some very strange places, and one time I had to tell some Navy guy I'd never seen before in which room he'd just woken up so he could find his way home.

 

[kurupt87]

Woke up on a building site, not a clue.

 

[robot slipper]

Went out with my sister and her workmates one evening, and I was only 18 and a student so they kept buying me drinks. Eventually, I lost the ability to speak, apart from being able to say "Feh". On the way back to the train station I had to be supported by my brother-in-law in order to "walk", and at one point I thought it would be a nice idea to try to lie down in the middle of a junction and have a sleep.
At the station, they got me some water and tried to make me eat a croissant, but I'm told that apparantly the concept of having food on my mouth and chewing it was, by the look on my face, a completely confusing concept.
I got the ability of speech back when I was on the train, much to the embarrassment of my companions. It was the late 90's, so I kept telling anyone who stood up to get off the train that they "couldn't stand up, because they weren't the Real Slim Shady". I also kept emploring the Real Slim Shady, wherever he was, to please stand up.