Story time folks. I was shitting on the shitter in our basement minding my own business, surfing the internet, and so on. It was a normal shit, nothing special about it, and I finished nice and cleaned myself off, satisfied with the deed. I stood up, turned around to flush, and very nearly had a heart attack as the sound of rattling reaches my ears. You had a coral snake in your front yard? Well, my friend, I stood up to find a fucking rattler curled up behind my toilet. I live in the suburban Denver area, and the closest place with rattlers is a couple miles away at least. My basement has no doors or windows that are regularly open, and the bathroom is closed off in the middle of the house. To this day I have no clue how that thing got there, or how it got out. Needless to say, I turned tail and ran the second I saw what was sitting there, shut the door, and stuck a towel underneath. I came back once to take a picture from the safety of the doorway, then shut it up and came another time with a handgun only to find it gone. Just poof, disappeared. To this day I don't use that restroom except for emergencies.
What is the Oddest Thing That Has Turned Up Around Your Home?
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A man with no legs.
I was about 8 years old at the time. It was winter in Western Canada so it was bitchin cold outside. We live out in the country and our laneway to the grid road is about a 1/4 mile. Anyways, a man with no legs showed up on our doorstep late one night. His truck broke down near our lane and he crawled/hopped all the way to our house so he could call someone. After he called a friend, he started telling us about himself. He installed flooring for a living. We weren't very surprised. But then, he started insulting the installation of our new laminate flooring.
It happened that my mother herself just finished installing said flooring a week prior.
And that's when my mother kicked a legless man out of our house in the middle of a Canadian winter. Oh, and did I forget to mention that there was a blizzard out? And he had no jacket? Ya, I remember him looking up at my dad to see if he could get some sympathy, and my dad shrugged and gave him a "probably shouldn't have insulted her" look while leading him to the door.
And the man with no legs proceeded to hop crawl his way back down our lane. In the middle of a Canadian blizzard.
I was about 8 years old at the time. It was winter in Western Canada so it was bitchin cold outside. We live out in the country and our laneway to the grid road is about a 1/4 mile. Anyways, a man with no legs showed up on our doorstep late one night. His truck broke down near our lane and he crawled/hopped all the way to our house so he could call someone. After he called a friend, he started telling us about himself. He installed flooring for a living. We weren't very surprised. But then, he started insulting the installation of our new laminate flooring.
It happened that my mother herself just finished installing said flooring a week prior.
And that's when my mother kicked a legless man out of our house in the middle of a Canadian winter. Oh, and did I forget to mention that there was a blizzard out? And he had no jacket? Ya, I remember him looking up at my dad to see if he could get some sympathy, and my dad shrugged and gave him a "probably shouldn't have insulted her" look while leading him to the door.
And the man with no legs proceeded to hop crawl his way back down our lane. In the middle of a Canadian blizzard.
I was cleaning one day and found a dead toad under my bed. I never noticed it being there, it didn't stink or anything. And to top that, it was completely mummified! Dry as paper.
I'm more in the Southern Bay area, right next to Mission Peak, I just never expect to be driving home and see turkeys strutting around the street. It happened this year and last year in the same months, does that constitute a pattern?triggrhappy94 said:
On my living room table, I once smurfed a piece of paper saying "You are a wonderful boyfriend!" from my ex-girlfriend. Smurf is, I can't remember smurfing it from her, and she can't remember writing it in the first smurf.
Hmm...
There was the time a scorpion fell out of my dad's pants when he went to put them on in the morning, that was weird. I think it's the only time I've seen a scorpion 'in the wild' and not in some kind of cage.
One time my brother was riding a skateboard in the house and accidentally/inevitably put a hole in the wall. A few days later, before we'd had a chance to get it repaired, a red-belly-black-snake came slithering out into the room.
There was the time a scorpion fell out of my dad's pants when he went to put them on in the morning, that was weird. I think it's the only time I've seen a scorpion 'in the wild' and not in some kind of cage.
One time my brother was riding a skateboard in the house and accidentally/inevitably put a hole in the wall. A few days later, before we'd had a chance to get it repaired, a red-belly-black-snake came slithering out into the room.