what is up with this double standard????

[Kae]

Almost hate to give relationship advice because alot of the times the person will flip it on you and try to help you out. Now they have gone from listening, to instead wanting to help you out with your situation. Thats why I rarely ever tell anybody that I find most women to be boring because it always starts an argument. Of course I don't really care on the internet because I will probably not meet anybody on here in real life. Now I am talking about all the bullcrap that comes with a relationship. Kind of factored in, well I will take all your little annoying quirks if I can at least get sex out of it. Hate having to put up with all the crap and not getting any on top of it. I know some guys don't mind, but I do. Got to say that I don't care if it makes me out to be a terrible person because at the end of the day, I am the one that has to live with himself. You know that if I am doing it that way then I must not really mind. Have to say that guys wanting to hang out with girls and not sleep with them ever sounds like bullshit to me, but thats just my opinion.

OK?
I'm not going to judge you here, but that answer just confused me, because I asked what bullshit, and well I have friends that are girls and they have never done anything weird or at least anything that a guy wouldn't do, as you said it is you're problem not mine, so I don't particularly care but I was just curious about what you were talking about, because I really have no idea and this last post just makes me more curious, because I really don't know what you are talking about, what crap?
As for guys being just friends with girls, well everybody is different, so people have different ways of thinking, so I guess just like I don't understand you're way of thinking I guess you don't understand my way of thinking, I just see women the exact same way I see guys, as people that's really just it.

 

[Thaa'ir]

She is leading you in a dramatic circle. I am not going to tell you to get rid of her since she is such a close friend, but there are a few points:

1) There is a possibility you did something that offended her but that you did not recognize or see as bad. Perhaps it was something that was actually really stupid of you to do or perhaps she is just oversensitive. You won't know without her input.

2) Again, she is leading you in a dramatic circle. I admit to having pulled this when I was in high school. She wants attention, possibly as a result of her problems with the long-distance boyfriend.

I know that, as she is a close friend, your instincts tell you to hold on and never let go, but you are not going to get anywhere by texting her every day. If she is mad at you, you will simply suffocate her; if she is being dramatic, you will simply feed into it and prolong all of this.

Don't cut her off, but back off for a while and stop trying so hard or it will never end. If something serious is going on that has nothing to do with you, she has to come forward and tell you. If not, she'll get over herself when you put an end to this game.

 

[Captain_Fantastic]

She is leading you in a dramatic circle. I am not going to tell you to get rid of her since she is such a close friend, but there are a few points:

well if you seen the update. she hates my guts now, no idea why but apparently i went from a "good friend" to a "creepy pathetic loser" again, i have no idea why ive not been acting in any way different than i usually do.

 

[loa]

Cut contact, see if she calls you.
And stop checking her facebooks, twitters and whatnot every 5 minutes.
Christ.

 

[Galletea]

She is leading you in a dramatic circle. I am not going to tell you to get rid of her since she is such a close friend, but there are a few points:

well if you seen the update. she hates my guts now, no idea why but apparently i went from a "good friend" to a "creepy pathetic loser" again, i have no idea why ive not been acting in any way different than i usually do.

Well she'll either grow up and realise what a complete ***** she has been to you or continue to push everyone who cares about her away from her. She'll probably want to be your friend again after a while, especially if you leave her alone for a while.

Her outburst seems like it is just a frustated lashing out, she probably doesn't see you as anything like a creepy loser, but she doesn't want to tell you what is going on, and she's just lashing out at you because you are there, and you are persistent. Leave her alone, you deserve to be treated better and she will probably come to her senses after a while. And of course if she doesn't then you're better off without her as a friend anyhow.

 

[Captain_Fantastic]

Cut contact, see if she calls you.
And stop checking her facebooks, twitters and whatnot every 5 minutes.
Christ.

not as if I ever did, this is the first time I've been at home long enough to check this all weekend.

 

[ultrachicken]

Have you told her about how you feel about this? If not, go do that. I can wait.

...

...Not really, so I'll go ahead and add part 2. If she realizes she's doing the double standard and that it's wrong, then you two can work on making up and hanging out. If she's a ***** about it, get rid of her. She has a life, and you have a life. You don't belong to her, and your job isn't to sit around waiting for her to have some free time. If she doesn't accept that, then walk away. No point in being around people who piss you off.

Listen to this person. She probably can't read your mind, so it's possible she simply doesn't realize how what she's doing is a problem.

 

[Captain_Fantastic]

Well she'll either grow up and realise what a complete ***** she has been to you or continue to push everyone who cares about her away from her. She'll probably want to be your friend again after a while, especially if you leave her alone for a while.

Her outburst seems like it is just a frustated lashing out, she probably doesn't see you as anything like a creepy loser, but she doesn't want to tell you what is going on, and she's just lashing out at you because you are there, and you are persistent. Leave her alone, you deserve to be treated better and she will probably come to her senses after a while. And of course if she doesn't then you're better off without her as a friend anyhow.

yeah i figure that's how it will end up, and it's not that it bothered me too much about the losing a friend thing or what she said, I've lost friends before, and i know that though i can act creepy but that just keeps the boring people away.

but what did bug me is that this had no logical place of origin(and the $170 suit). like one day that week she was laughing with me until she couldn't breath the next its all of this. though i have heard rumors recently of how she has been hanging around some nasty people, the kind of people that hate me simply for the fact that i am a man.

BUT if and when she decides to come around, it is going to take one hell of a lot more than a simple "sorry" for me to even consider doing anything for or trusting her again.

 

[Captain_Fantastic]

She probably can't read your mind, so it's possible she simply doesn't realize how what she's doing is a problem.

unfortunately things have "evolved" past her listening to anything that comes from my mouth. I quote myself below.

but what did bug me is that this had no logical place of origin(and the $170 suit). like one day that week she was laughing with me until she couldn't breath the next all of this. though i have heard rumors recently of how she has been hanging around some nasty people, the kind of people that hate me simply for the fact that i am a man.

 

[ultrachicken]

She probably can't read your mind, so it's possible she simply doesn't realize how what she's doing is a problem.

unfortunately things have "evolved" past her listening to anything that comes from my mouth. I quote myself below.

but what did bug me is that this had no logical place of origin(and the $170 suit). like one day that week she was laughing with me until she couldn't breath the next all of this. though i have heard rumors recently of how she has been hanging around some nasty people, the kind of people that hate me simply for the fact that i am a man.

Well then, I suggest demanding answers, and if she doesn't give any, you don't owe her anything, much less continued friendship.

 

[Captain_Fantastic]

Well then, I suggest demanding answers, and if she doesn't give any, you don't owe her anything, much less continued friendship.

and that is what i did. it ended in a long winded argument.

of course i do tend to be argumentative,
and she did try making a few low blows so it was go time for me,

 

[Erana]

And there are large details missing from this. Her side of things, for example.

This. There's some reason that she's behaving this way.

OP, either figure this out (in a rational, logical and impartial manner. As in, National Geographic level of impartial and respectful) or just leave her alone.
She's clearly having her own problem, and you're only making things worse by taking it all so personally. Chances are, the root of the problem has little to do with you, and behaving as though you're offended is only inserting yourself into her issues.

Right now, just go and mind your own business and don't feed the drama trolls. Just be a cool cucumber.

 

[Galletea]

BUT if and when she decides to come around, it is going to take one hell of a lot more than a simple "sorry" for me to even consider doing anything for or trusting her again.

I'd just like to suggest here that if this does happen, then you should probably have it out with her. It doesn't matter how shitty you're feeling, there is no excuse for treating people like she's treated you, and she'd probably do it again given the chance.