What is worst attempt at attracting the opposite sex you've ever seen?

[GuerrillaClock]

I was at a friends' birthday party the other night, stood at the bar next to a girl ordering a drink, when a bloke sidled up to her. He said "I didn't know it was a James Bond theme tonight", to which the girl responded with a slightly confused but interested look. The man said (exact quote) "Cos you must be Octopussy!"

Naturally, he was shot down with a swift string of expletives. I have no idea what he was hoping to achieve with a line like this one (when I think about it, it barely makes sense), and would just love to have seen inside his head as he thought it up and decided that it would definitely be a good idea to use it in polite conversation.

So, what is the worst attempt at attracting a member of the opposite sex you've ever seen (or perhaps performed yourself), and what were the results of said attempts?

 

[Adam Jenson]

I once saw this wigger kid try to hit on a girl at my school.
Picture a... maybe 90 pounds-when-wet white kid, about 5 feet tall in clothes that would fit a 6 foot tall man who weighed 900 pounds walking up to a pretty blonde girl.
"Hey baby, what'chu lookin' at."
"Excuse me?"
"Come on, baby, I know you want me."
"Uh..."
(Also, he was making these weird facial expressions...like he was trying to kiss the air or something. And he kept grabbing his crotch. It was the perfect showing of class.)
"*****, you know you be wantin' me." (Swear to god, his exact words.)
She just walked away with her friends.
I have no clue what the fuck his issue was.

I would say an inferiority complex

 

[Eagle Est1986]

I once saw this wigger kid try to hit on a girl at my school.
Picture a... maybe 90 pounds-when-wet white kid, about 5 feet tall in clothes that would fit a 6 foot tall man who weighed 900 pounds walking up to a pretty blonde girl.
"Hey baby, what'chu lookin' at."
"Excuse me?"
"Come on, baby, I know you want me."
"Uh..."
(Also, he was making these weird facial expressions...like he was trying to kiss the air or something. And he kept grabbing his crotch. It was the perfect showing of class.)
"*****, you know you be wantin' me." (Swear to god, his exact words.)
She just walked away with her friends.
I have no clue what the fuck his issue was.

Ahhh, that's awesome. I love such displays of epic failure, you've made me miss school.

 

[willard3]

*looks at watch* "The magic watch says you're not wearing any underwear."
"WHAT?!!"
*looks at watch again* "Oh wait, it must be an hour fast."

 

[Abedeus]

"Do you want to die a virgin?"

"Uh... you know you usually say that when the other person is about to die?"

"Oh, right. *pulls out a knife/gun/katana* Do you want to die a virgin?"

 

[Corpse XxX]

*looks at watch* "The magic watch says you're not wearing any underwear."
"WHAT?!!"
*looks at watch again* "Oh wait, it must be an hour fast."

Hahahaha.. Thats a classic.. Never heard it before but still willing to call it a classic..

 

[the protaginist]

"GET IN THE VAN!"
you knew it was coming.

And trying to get girls by being complete dicks to them.

 

[Eagle Est1986]

And trying to get girls by being complete dicks to them.

You say that, but a friend of mine uses the "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" tactic and it seems to work flawlessly, for him at least.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

Worst attempt i've seen? Well, someone I know (who absolutely no one likes, they just don't tell him that) walked up to someone, and in all confidence said 'get yer coat love, you've pulled'. I have never seen anyone get slapped so hard. And I didn't think people actually used these lines anyway.

 

[the protaginist]

And trying to get girls by being complete dicks to them.

You say that, but a friend of mine uses the "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" tactic and it seems to work flawlessly, for him at least.

I'm not saying it does not work, but it's freaking annoying.

 

[Straitjacketeering]

I hate it when guys think that being overly sexual and perverted will make chicks dig them, Just make them sounds like virgins if you ask me.

 

[Eagle Est1986]

And trying to get girls by being complete dicks to them.

You say that, but a friend of mine uses the "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" tactic and it seems to work flawlessly, for him at least.

I'm not saying it does not work, but it's freaking annoying.

Oh, well in that case, I concur!