What is worst attempt at attracting the opposite sex you've ever seen?

[Pandalisk]

my mate bought a chat up line book when he was about 15 and worked his way through them, once he said to me (and i have to HOPE it was in jest)
G: Is that a ladder in your tights or just my stair way to heaven
M: <dead pan - blank face> I'm wearing jeans

criiikey that was all manner of wrong

Man i love those books

I was at a party one time and some guy walks up to me and jocks me in attempt to show off how manly he was infront of girls (the men are outnumbered 10-1 here, i love it!) now as embarrasing as that sounds for me its more embarrasing when a guy is beaten to a pulp by a man with his draws round his ankles, yes men you heard right!, wanna get a girl/s just beat some ass up with your pants around your ankles! I am the love guru

ahh good times

 

[P1p3s]

my mate bought a chat up line book when he was about 15 and worked his way through them, once he said to me (and i have to HOPE it was in jest)
G: Is that a ladder in your tights or just my stair way to heaven
M: <dead pan - blank face> I'm wearing jeans

criiikey that was all manner of wrong

Funny, I think I bought a very similar book when I was his age. My favourite pick up line from it was;
"You'll do."
I still haven't been drunk/stupid enough to use it, one day though.

You'll Do! wow - just wow - that is the fastest way to a black eye I can think of...apart from maybe grabbing her ass, shrugging your shoulders and saying "meh"

 

[Xan Krieger]

This is from two years ago when I'm in High School. I have asperger's syndrome so I have no clue about the rules of being social. I was in a navy ROTC at the time and I figured I may as well call boobs torpedoes, after all both have the same shape (at least at one end) of being big and round. I figured it would be polite if I told a girl she had big torpedoes. Here is how that happened. I went up to her and told her she had "Torpedoes big enough to sink the Bismarck." She knocked my glasses clean across the hallway. I did not know it was rude to tell a girl she had nice boobs.

 

[GaD]

are your pants made out of mirrors cuz i cans see myself in them

funily enough it was a girl that said it to me lol

 

[Osloq]

Me and some mates were at our local pub one alcohol fuelled night and we decided to start trying really stupid lines just for fun and clearly we weren't be serious about it because none of us got slapped or had drinks thrown in our faces. The best one happened about 1 hour in. My friend spies a girl who's just got to the bar who was extremely good looking and because she had just got to the bar was completely sober so the vegas odd makers wouldn't give him a chance in hell. He gives us a wink, a thumbs up and swaggers over.

"Hey baby those clothes look nice"
"err thank you"
"But they'd look even better crumpled up on my floor in the morning"

She just looks at him for like 5 minutes dead in the eyes and he starts to get really awkward and looks at us for support but we're just cracking up because it looks like she's about to go apeshit. Finally she moves, gets a bar napkin, pulls out a pen and writes down her number. She then left and we and him were just dumbstruck that it had actually worked. For the rest of the night he gets free drinks because that moment had earned legendary status. He called the number the next day after we had crashed at his place and it turns out it was a number for people who were having issues dealing with having a small penis. The best part was he had put it on loudspeaker so he could show he was better than us and so we got to listen to the whole speech at the start, hear that he had been registered as a member and watch his face fall. Gut wrenching hilarity.

 

[Skizle]

I hate it when guys think that being overly sexual and perverted will make chicks dig them, Just make them sounds like virgins if you ask me.

a lot of truth in this (this coming from a guy) but for some reason it work on some girls. its a fucking paradox

 

[MagnetoHydroDynamics]

"I've seen better."

Does not work.

Friend of mine (a grl omg) had a guy say that to her... We laughed.

 

[Crudler]

As well as the general ass-hattery you see one of my favourite moments is when I was round at the house of one of my best friends.
She was, as I have often sad to her "Like an 18th century palace" in that she had "a damn lot of courtiers". But anyway after having a mixture of wine, wax and cooking oil spilt on me I need to have a shower. After I come back through, wearing trousers but no t-shirt as that is being washed I hear a noise from outside.
It's some poor sod from our year attempting to be romantic by playing "I believe in a thing called love" by 'The Darkness' through a stereo that he was holding over his head complete with a terrible attempt to sing along. We both lean out of the window and this chap looks crestfallen.
We sort of look at each other feeling both sorry for and amused at this poor poor guy, who though nice on the whole was just a little creepy.
He said "Oh, I see..." Turned around and started to walk away.
When it suddenly started to rain, there were sparks from the stereo, it sort of died to an extent and he just stood there. Then walked away.

Was completely bitter from then on and got completely the wrong idea about me and my friend.

 

[bmf185]

I would like to buy your friend a completely platonic drink for her awesomeness.

Better then what I did, I turned to her and said 'I love you' and then had to dodge a punch.

I will also be wearing a helmet and a cup to this drink-buying.

I hate it when guys think that being overly sexual and perverted will make chicks dig them, Just make them sounds like virgins if you ask me.

Fun fact: Being a virgin is more attractive than being incredibly promiscuious.
To me, anyway. Though I agree with you.

Virgins are fine, Desperate virgins aren't. If they are guys. Anyhoo.

Virgins are work in the bedroom is what they are. Remember that example from some TV show that sex is like tennis? It's no fun if you play with someone who is way worse than you are? It's completely true.

I was in a bar sitting at one end and some guy was sitting at the other. A girl came up and ordered a drink by him, he said something that I didn't hear...and she PUNCHED him in the eye. No open hand whatsoever. That was hot.

 

[bmf185]

This is from two years ago when I'm in High School. I have asperger's syndrome so I have no clue about the rules of being social. I was in a navy ROTC at the time and I figured I may as well call boobs torpedoes, after all both have the same shape (at least at one end) of being big and round. I figured it would be polite if I told a girl she had big torpedoes. Here is how that happened. I went up to her and told her she had "Torpedoes big enough to sink the Bismarck." She knocked my glasses clean across the hallway. I did not know it was rude to tell a girl she had nice boobs.

The way that you put it is goddamn hysterical. Sorry for the double post, but this merits much praise.

 

[Sarcastic Chimp]

"GET IN THE VAN!"
you knew it was coming.

And trying to get girls by being complete dicks to them.

That is one awesome chat up line, i need a van...
I hate that too, only because I don't do it and it works for everyone else, along with being really pervy.

 

[Viking Moose]

I don't have a story, but am I the only one that has a problem with asking random people for sex? Granted I don't intend to have sex before I'm married, but still...

 

[Specter_]

maybe grabbing her ass, shrugging your shoulders and saying "meh"

I'm not sure what's more sad:
The fact that I know that that works or the fact that it works.

 

[iseko]

worst ive seen doesn't even involve speaking. You know how at the bar you can put your feet on a metal 'rod'. Wel a girl in a skirt was at the bar trying to order with one foot on it. A drunk guy walks up and just puts his hand under her skirt. The girl looked around and just punched him with a full fist with 3 rings on, right in the face. He fell passed out flat on his ass and I couldn't stop laughing for half an hour.

 

[kateatsmouse]

A guy my older brother was friends with in high school once offered me a bag of weed if I would have sex with him. Only I don't smoke weed. Or engage in promiscuous sex. And he doesn't bathe. So likely hood of that working out in his favor was slim to none.

 

[MIDIsurf 558]

best chatt up line is 'i bet you £10 you will turn me down'

hasn't worked yet but theres still time

 

[Pipotchi]

Back when I worked as a doorman these two fit girls were the next in line and this guy strolls up casual as you like and says to one of them "can I smell your *****?" She looks at him in horror and shrieks No, he then turns to her friend and says calmly "no worries must be yours then" and he ambles off

Dual pick up line/insult action