What is your best, this sucks for me but is probably hilarious to others, moment?

[War_Turtle]

As the titles says.

I was sleeping peacefully in bed until about 3 in the morning when I'm awoken by a loud cough-burp sound. I immediately recognize the sound and grab the fuzzy wheezing lump which is my cat from the middle of my bed and try to save my blanket from what follows. But I was too late, it starts to puke in the consistency of Play-Doh and since it was already in motion from me grabbing her, the puke spreads across my favorite blanket.

With cat still in arm I take a step out of bed and squish. Great. She must have done this earlier too. I drop my recovering cat, thud,(guess they aren't very graceful post-vomit) wrap up my poor blanket, proceed to stumble downstairs, clean up then come back up stairs where my cat is no where to be found. The smell is horrible but I fight through it and clean up the lump of puke beside my bed. Grab a new blanket from the closet and go back to sleep with door firmly shut to prevent cat intrusions.

The brave blanket that served as my favorite source of warmth on a cold night never made a full recovery after dozens of washes and even then I could never look at it the same way. Also the cat is no longer allowed in my room.

Hope you guys get a kick from that story, I sure didn't.

 

[Barbas]

Probably throwing up in a plastic bag on an airport shuttle bus, then just being so pissed off that I threw it at a corner. Splash. Whoops.

They stared and laughed. Fuckers.

 

[Little Woodsman]

I had one of those nasty slips on ice... right before actually slipping my feet were working furiously to try and keep me from going down. When my feet did actually fly out from underneath me I had one moment where I was completely horizontal in mid-air, and my feet were still working furiously as though they could keep me from falling!

One of the people who were lucky enough to observe it commented that I looked "just like something from a roadrunner cartoon!"

I couldn't begrudge the bystanders their amusement.

 

[Zhukov]

I walked through my back door once. As in, without opening it.

I was outside with some other people when I heard the phone ring. I was expecting a somewhat important call, so I ran to pick up. I thought the back door was ajar, to I just reached out my arm to push it open as I ran through. As it happens, it was closed.

Result: Handle breaks, one hinge breaks and the door is left with two splintered dents, one from my hand and one from my forehead. I got away with a nosebleed and a sore wrist. Everyone else present thought the whole thing was just hilarious. As far as they could see, I had been so eager to get to the phone that I had just run face first into a door as if I were literally blind.

 

[Jiggle Counter]

It was on my first date with my current girlfriend. We were sitting on a public steel bench.

I said something smooth to my girlfriend, leaned back with a smile on my face, and smashed the back of my head against the metal armrest. The sound echoed loudly, the chair vibrated violently, and I didn't say a thing.

I was crying inside, but I was trying to be cool. As cool as your average Craig David fan apparently.

 

[VanQ]

I walked through my back door once. As in, without opening it.

I was outside with some other people when I heard the phone ring. I was expecting a somewhat important call, so I ran to pick up. I thought the back door was ajar, to I just reached out my arm to push it open as I ran through. As it happens, it was closed.

Result: Handle breaks, one hinge breaks and the door is left with two splintered dents, one from my hand and one from my forehead. I got away with a nosebleed and a sore wrist. Everyone else present thought the whole thing was just hilarious. As far as they could see, I had been so eager to get to the phone that I had just run face first into a door as if I were literally blind.

My little sister ran through a glass door once. Completely smashed through the thing and just stopped, startled but otherwise unharmed. Me and my brother couldn't stop laughing as my other sister piped up "Kacey smash!" In her best Hulk impression.

She still hasnt fully lived that down.

In my case, one time in High School there was a very ominous cloud moving over the area. My friends all agreed a bad one was coming but I decided to be a rebel and say it would pass over, being in the middle of one of Australia's longest droughts and all. The storm that followed was the most destructive storm in recent history besides the 2011 floods.

And I still haven't fully lived that down. My friends still ask me if storms will just pass over. >.>

 

[Phasmal]

Hm... well I was once running to catch my train after college while carrying a large art folder. Basically the folder slipped between my legs and tripped me up, sending me head-first into the pavement while still running. That probably was funny to the people passing in their cars.
But nevertheless I jumped straight up again (because apparently I would rather risk concussions than wait an hour for the next train but I was 18 what do you want from me) and managed to make the train where a whole carriage of people turned to look at me with shocked faces.
Of course I'm still grinning like a lunatic because I made the train at the last second. It was only then I felt the blood coming down my face.

Surprisingly I only had a small scrape on my forehead from my intimate encounter with the pavement. I must be very strong-headed.

 

[Auron225]

I just started my first teaching placement very recently. Doing a revision class with my Year 8s for their Christmas test next week, one girl in the front row raises her hand and asks if we can revise long division.

Long division was not on our curriculum at school I hadn't a f*cking clue how to do it.

Me (in my head): You f*cking troll! NO we can't revise long division because it is a stupid, pointless technique! You will never need to know how to divide into 3 digit numbers without a calculator, except that you will because we're in the only damn school in the country still on this outdated syllabus! How dare you do this to me!
Me (out loud): I can try!

Cue 40 uncomfortable minutes of me borrowing their books to try and LEARN long division so that I can teach it to them! I imagine the only thing they learned is that I can't math.

 

[rorychief]

I was once looking after kids in a fancy rich people house while the parents were out with mine. I blocked the toilet and flooded an ensuite bathroom, ran about between floors trying to find a way to unblock it while fending off and distracting the curious kids wondering what I was doing and if they could play as well. Ended up trapped with the nosy buggers banging on the door and refusing to use any other bathroom despite having three. I managed to seal the crack in the door with towels. Found a super soaker and unscrewed the bottle, used it to scoop up rusty shredded paper dusted water from the bathroom floor and pour it into the shower, many rolls of toilet paper later and the bathroom looked almost normal. I threw all the towels I'd used over the wall, came inside and scrubbed my hands and nails in scalding soapy water, sighed in relief turned round and got a blast of toilet water in the eyes and face.

The little girl had found the super soaker and shot me with it before I had a chance to clean it, possibly thinking that all my time in the bathroom was to get it ready to soak her. She was very sheltered American suburb kid, I'm Irish. Needless to say I thought her some new words.

 

[sextus the crazy]

Pretty much everything involving my broken hip. Except for the parts where my parents doted on me during my recovery. Wasn't too fun for them.

 

[sageoftruth]

Nothing recent. About 15 years ago, I signed up last minute for a talent show and did a one-man performance of Jet Song from Westside Story. At the very end, still in character, I got down on one knee and swung my arm up into a bicep flex position. However, I brought my arm up too fast and accidentally uppercutted myself right under the nose. I didn't feel anything, but that hardly mattered since blood suddenly started pouring our of my nose as if my fist had shattered some blood dam inside it.
When I got it patched up later, my white shirt had been thoroughly dyed red.

 

[Guffe]

Football (the one were you kick a ball with your feet)
Getting the ball at full speed in the nuts... it hurts like nothing else in the world and everyone just laughs around me -.-

 

[Lilikins]

I do remember quite 'un'fondly (though I laugh about it nowadays)

My little brother and I were on a flight to the US a long time ago, about 12 years ago maybe. He gets horribly motion sick so my mother made sure to give me 2 tablets, 1 tablet lasts 4 hours..flight takes 7 hours...in the safe zone...or so we thought. Sadly we didnt take circling the bloody airport into our counting.
After flying in circles around it for 30 min my little brother looked at me with a queezy face, the horrorstruck face I made must have been priceless...or it was just me screaming 'no..not now..NO!! LAND YOU (insert swearing here) !!!'
Sadly my cursing and swearing didnt make the gods of weather and airport traffic bless me and we kept circling, next thing I know I just see him arch his back and I knew what was coming.
With lightning fast reflexes I took out one of those 'hurling' bags from the seat placed infront of us and rammed it into his face.
My little brother, forcing it out seemingly with the power of 20 fire hoses broke through that bag instantly, forcing his..dinner upon myself.

And that my dear friends, was how my vacation to America to visit my relatives started...drenched in his dinner...and in a foul mood. Everyone else who wasnt bothered by the stench found it hilarious...I find it hilarious nowadays... (after Ive showered over a few thousand times...)

 

[Belaam]

Not me, but my daughter came into our room the other night sobbing and terrified, barely able to speak. She'd woken in the middle of the night and heard a monster under her bed growling. It seemed to get louder and softer as she listened to it and she thought it was moving around under her bed. She'd sat in terror on her bed, wanting to come get us, but knowing that if she got down from her bed, it would be able to get her. If she called us, it might get us too. She got more and more upset, but finally decided to throw her pillow off one side of her bed as bait and then jump off the other side and run to us.

We took her back to her room and pointed out that the noise was her sister snoring.

For me, in high school, I once fell asleep while riding my bike to school hit a parked car and smashed through the back window, landing in the back seat. This was in full view of most of the kids waiting at the bus stop. Those who got rides later in the day showed up talking about how it looked like vandals had busted out a cars' back window and then got to hear the story from witnesses. (I grew up in a really small town so this remained a hilarious story for almost a month)

 

[thebobmaster_v1legacy]

This is a little different, as I deserved the laughter and can laugh myself looking back, but the time I hit myself in the face with a wooden plank.

Basically, at my college, they have some wooden benches. I decided to do a step-up hop onto one of the benches. I even did a few calculations to make sure I'd clear it. I cleared it, all right. I landed squarely on one end of the plank, and soon discovered it was loose. I discovered this when, as I fell forward from the momentum in addition to the end of the plank I landed on slamming to the ground with all of the force of my jump, the other end swung up to hit me in the face on the way down. According to the witness, it was like one of those cartoons where a person steps on the end of a rake, and the handle slams up to hit them in the face.

Only one person saw the actual act, but the entire class heard the impact and turned to see me laying facedown on the bench, exactly as I landed after impact.

Total injuries: A couple of painful bruises to my legs, a sprained ankle, a strained jaw muscle, a scratch on my face that has since become a faint scar, and a severe bruising of pride. Worse, because it was at school, I had to file an incidence report.

 

[Fractral]

While on an exchange to Germany, we got taken to the black forest and went around some of the attractions there. For lunch we went to a nearby town that happened to have a whole load of fountains in the centre of its square. Myself and a few of my friends decided it would be fun to run over these fountains while they were off. (They were timed to go on and off in patterns) After a few near misses, I was sure I knew when the fountains would go ofd, so I stood directly over one for a few seconds.
I misjudged it,and was taken completely off my feet by the blast of water. When I got back up, drenched head to toe, not only were my friends laughing, but so were a good 2 dozen german schoolkids who had been watching me for the past few minutes.

 

[Fieldy409_v1legacy]

I found out the previous owner of my home didn't use a steel beam for the extension, he/she used a wooden stick to hold up the second storey. And the wooden stick is now rotten. Oh, how people rolled around with laughter.

I'm a carpentry apprentice and I've seen so many cases of dodgy shit like that under houses. I saw one underneath a shower where the drain happened to be over the top of a joist so the plumber in his wisdom cut a section out. He could have at least laminated a piece on the side of that beam but no he used two bits of timber under to prop it up either side sitting straight on dirt so of course they rotted. It didn't help that it was like a swamp down there because that same drain pipe had popped out where it connected to the baths drainpipe and was dumping water on the ground every time anyone had a shower. Yikes.