What is your favourite quote/analogy/quips from Yahtzee?

[TheAngryKoala]

Two Worlds II

"And by the way, this game has the loudest lock-pick mechanism ever. Seriously, its like someone is cocking a shotgun trying to intimidate a tumble dryer full of ball bearings"

 

[BristolBerserker]

'THERE IS NO MIDDLE FINGER BIG ENOUGH!!'

... was the first one that came to mind, so I'll go with that.

Damn i was going to use that one.

 

[dark metal prince]

Pretty much the entire Manhunt review. That was hilarious xD

 

[Zantos]

There's one he's made a couple of times about a 'Triple-cunted hooker', that always makes me laugh.

I have to agree, anything with the triple cunted hooker is pure gold.

Also from GoW: Chains of olympus
"I haven't mentioned what kind of game this is yet because I assume most viewers already know. But if you're one of these girlfriends of viewers who doesn't actually play games but likes watching these videos anyway because they secretly want to fuck me"

It's made even funnier by the fact my girlfriend who didn't play games was also watching as well, and being a bit hoity toity was horrified at the statement. Her face and the noise she made was fantastic.

 

[robot slipper]

But as the disbelieving friend said to the inventor of the feces-powered helicopter, "This shit will not fly!"

This is one of my favourites ones, but I can't for the life of me remember which review it is from!!!! Little help anyone?

Resident Evil 5 : "It's like watching someone beat their fists against a wall, then running off to hospital before doing it some more. And they used my medical insurance. And it's MY WALL."

I also love the running themes, like how he says the terrain in Bulletstorm was "inspired by the architectural school of Sir Wallie McChest-High".

 

[DonMartin]

?Never stick your dick in a pudding. It might still be good pudding, and you can still spend all afternoon explaining that, but no one?s going to eat it because you stuck your dick in it.?

Im completely serious whenever I say this. It's one of the great proverbs.

 

[Gearran]

"Pants-on-head retarded!"

Curses, beat me to it!

 

[LITE992]

"Wait a girlfriend-impaling second, haven't we been here before?"

 

[Henkie36]

"It shoots shurikens and lightning, it could only be more awesome it had tits and was on fire"

"I am a monster truck that walks like a man!"

Also his little rant at the end of the Halo Wars review.

EDIT: Can't go leaving out the line about spreading Branston pickle onto No More Heroes.

These are some of the very best, but I can't help but choose the best to be his rant aboout the achievements in the fake Duke Nukem Forever review: ''But the hardest one of all, is the one you get for turning of the console, leaving the house, meeting a nice girl, take a sailing boat around the world, have three beautiful blond children, then finally die content with the knowledge that you didn't spent twelve years waiting for an utterly pedestrian sequel made by developers who make John Romero look on the ball!''

 

[Madara XIII]

"I have a lot in common with the wild west; I wear an old fashioned hat, I once a ate a horse... and I never wash."

My all time favorite was from his Hate-Mail response episode



[HEADING=2]"Go Team RETARD!"[/HEADING]

Dude's got me saying it frequently now.

 

[LITE992]

"It's possible they're saving that for DLC, but anyone who pulls that shit deserves to have their hands cut off... and sold back to them for 1200 Microsoft Points."

 

[Madara XIII]

My favorite quote is from Gears of War 2 review:
"A nicely created squishy level taking place inside a giant worm (rather Fruedian in many ways, fnarr fnarr)"

This made me cry on several occasions.

LMAO That was my second fave.

"Capcom aren't bad people, they're just idiots!"

It's funny cause it's true!

Oh so true. It's bad enough that their greatest contributors, Shinji Mikami(Resident Evil and Okami), Hideki Kamiya(The original DMC)and Keiji Inafune(Megaman) caught on to that and basically gave a humongous "FUCK YOU" to Capcom and left.

Thank God at least Mikami and Kamiya are working with Platinum Studios where as I have no idea where Inafune is.

Probably at the bottom of the Hudson river with 100lb CAPCOM logos tied to his ankles...

 

[Mogget128723]

"...and whistled for a baboon!"

 

[Dethenger]

But as the disbelieving friend said to the inventor of the feces-powered helicopter, "This shit will not fly!"

This is one of my favourites ones, but I can't for the life of me remember which review it is from!!!! Little help anyone?

It's from his Left 4 Dead 2. New Super Mario Bros. Wii review.

 

[The Artificially Prolonged]

It's like my right hand on a Friday night...it beats the fuck out of me!

 

[Dreadman75]

"There's an insidious thought that frequently goes through the minds of gamers. The thought that goes "But I might need it later". The niggling little doubt that prevents you from using your most powerful insurance policies just in case there's some kind of no claims bonus at the end of it all. So we have scenarios in which you're sitting on a nuclear arsenal to shame North Korea and are shooting peas at a giant robot crab on the off-chance that there's an even bigger giant robot crab right around the corner. No game illustrates this phenomena better than Mercenaries 2, or as I like to call it: Airstrikes 2: Hooray for Airstrikes."

Not really memorable because of it's humor, more so because we've all fell victim to this syndrome at one time or another.

Also: "I'm not a fanboy-" "Yes you are!"

 

[lionrwal]

I'd like to see Nathan Drake get locked in a room with Kratos and see how far smug wisecracks get him when he's being stomped by a foot that kicks so much ass it permanently smells of fart.

BTW, does anyone know where this quote comes from? "it's like your riding a bike and every 100 meters the bike turns into a bear."

 

[Terminate421]

"The Ponciest ponce that ever ponced passed the poncing parlor"

 

[Terminate421]

"Wait a girlfriend-impaling second, haven't we been here before?"

"Yes, about 12 extremely final times."

Heres a better one IMO:

"This Hope guy has been established from the start as a whiny, weak, inept, cowardly, socially retarded mummy's boy, so presumably he's the character most of the audience are meant to project onto. But then combat starts and he literally pulls a boomerang out of his arse and joins the fray. Consistency is nice."

 

[kebab4you]

"It's possible they're saving that for DLC, but anyone who pulls that shit deserves to have their hands cut off... and sold back to them for 1200 Microsoft Points."

You know, IF I could buy limbs from xbox live for 1200 points, I could make a fortune selling them 2nd hand to some doctor school.