As much as I would dearly love to put in some of my favorite Bloodhound Gang tracks here, there are three problems with this.
One, posting "I Hope You Die", "Lift Your Head Up High (And Blow Your Brains Out)", and (especially) "The Ballad of Chasey Lain" would probably get me banned from this site---that last one is WAY outside any conceivable posting guideline.
Two, it wouldn't be true. Some of my fantasies are set to those songs, but I'd never use them in an actual romantic situation (nor, I suspect, would I want to sleep with any girl who'd let me, on the grounds that "don't fuck crazy" as my friends put it.)
And three, never send the Bloodhound Gang to do Axl's job. Appetite for Destruction is the best background-to-sex CD ever created.
And with that in mind: