What is your worst or funniest work moment?

[Reokue]

Aah work. We love to hate it but we also love money. What I want to know are what are the moments where your boss,customer, or coworker has made you your angriest. Or where they have done something tremendously stupid.

My most recent one happened when I was standing in front of the elevators. A new worker comes up to me and asks, "Are these the up elevators?" We're on the ground floor and we have no underground parking so the up button is the only button. "Yes," I replied. "Good I was worried I had the wrong ones." It took everything I had not to bust out laughing.

So what are your stories?

 

[Armored Prayer]

My worst moment was when I was required to trim Christmas trees. The fields were a mile long and half a mile wide. It was ninety degrees outside and we had no brakes.

My funniest moment is when I was serving cotton candy out side of the picnic area. Then suddenly it rained and everybody ran inside. Meanwhile under some cover, I was happily eating the cotton candy and watching everyone huddling inside for protection.

 

[Ezzay]

My boss rocking up to work an hour late, drunk.

Got a good laugh out of it at the time.

 

[Jaythulhu]

I got dropped by a very very friendly, 75kg bulldog who was so excited to see me he leapt up and headbutted me right in the family jewels.

It's so nice, working in an 85% female workforce. No other blokes around, so no sympathy to be had. Just women laughing their arses off.

 

[Earth2Me]

Oh wow, there are a few of them. You know High Mobility Multi-Wheeled Vehicles (HMMWV or Humvees?) Ever seen one of those stuck in the mud? Some how my buddies managed to get two of them stuck up beyond the tire wells. It was hilarious because it was our Commander's idea to take that route in the first place despite the "Joe's" complaints that the earth was too soft and it was a bad idea!

I've also had a Humvee tire take off on me and "run itself" (right side up) down the middle of the road for about 300 yards, nearly missing a bus. There was three of us running behind it, flailing our arms and screaming, "NO BRAKES, GET OUTTA THE WAY!"

The Army is a pain in the ass sometimes, but (and this isn't a recruiter hype) it is one of the best jobs in the world! We have a sh!t ton of fun!!

 

[DigitalSushi]

a woman came in to buy a tap*, and I said "dont buy that, it costs an arm and a leg". When she'd made her decision and went to pay, turns out, she hasn't got a right forearm.

Yes I said, "costs an arm and a leg" to an amputee.

I'm going to hell.

*edit* * i believe my american friends say "faceut"? is that it?

 

[Doomdiver]

I work in Pizza Hut delivery. One night I drunk walked in, this happens quite often but this one was particularaly memorable. This is pretty much how the conversation went:

Me: Hey there how can I help?
Him: I want a pizza! I am a very hungry man!
Me: Ok would you like a large then?
Him: No... I want a medium. But put lots of toppings on because I am a very hungry man!
Me: Well we have a special off at the moment, a large will cost the same as a medium anyway
*He stands there looking confused*
Me: Ok then what topping do you want?
*He stands there looking confused again, I point at the toppings on the menu*
Him: OH! Ok I'll have a pepperoni feast. Make sure there is alot of topping! I am a hungry man!
Me: Ok then so thst's a large, deep pan, pepperoni feast, that'll be £6.99 please.
Him: NO! I've changed my mind! I want a medium... meat feast!
Me: It's the same price for a large though.
Him: Ok make it a large! I am a very hungry man!
Me: Ok that's a large, deep pan, meat feast. That'll be £6.99, can I just take your name please?
Him: I'M CATMAN!
*Stifled laughter*
Him: Well it's Caterill... BUT MY FRIENDS CALL ME THE CATMAN!
Me: Ok that'll be ready in about 10 minutes.
Him: Ok I'll see you later!
In the 10 minutes I see him walk past the window about 5 times, he eventualy comes back in and proclaims loudly. I HAVE AN ORDER! THE NAME IS CATMAN!

Oh and there was another guy who was more terrifying than funny but still.
A man walks in makes his order quite normaly, gives his name as Dean, I turn around to start making boxes. Suddenly I hear in a really high pitched creepy voice "I'm Jeffery Archer!" I turn around and see it's him, he keeps saying it about every 10 seconds in between stopping me from doing whatever I'm doing and insisting on shaking my hand or touching fists to "Respect" and laughing hystericaly. Finaly his order was ready and he insisted on shaking mine, and a collegues hands and said to bother of us "Thanks Jeffery Archer!" And "Bye Jeffery Archer!".

We do get some wierd people in.

 

[Scrythe]

I used to work at an electrical supply warehouse that was somewhat notorious for their cruelty. Treating your fellow employee like shit was somewhat of a theme there. Well in the time I've been there, we moved the warehouse stock twice in one year. During both these times, things became really stressful as some of us had to pull 12-15 hour shifts hauling shit around and attempting to work with beat-to-shit forklifts and other screwed up equipment.

While at one of the new warehouses, I was hauling pallets of stuff around with that building's only stand up forkift (they look like this [http://www.watsonauctionco.com/pics/kc10022008/standupforklift.jpg], in case you don't know), one of my bosses called me over. He was standing there with The Big Boss and a few other Suits joking and dicking around. He told me that one of the pallets contained a desk the belonged to one of the sales reps, and one of the most hated guys of the entire warehouse. Apparently, he was making a really big deal about this particle board desk and was very vocal about making sure nothing happens to it. My task? Destroy it.

Not one to disobey my boss, I did as he instructed: I loaded the pallet with the desk on my forklift, raised it as high as it could go, and shook the joystick to try and knock the desk off. It bounced once. I tried again. It bounced around a second time. I tried once more. This time, the desk managed to launch itself a few feet off the pallet, bounce off the pallet itself like a spring board, and proceed to fall to it's demise.

I can't recall any moment in my life of me laughing that hard. My bosses were struggling just to keep themselves from falling over in sheer hilarity of the situation. We kept something of a pact to never tell anyone outside that room the truth, and Mr Sales Rep was informed that it fell off a truck. To this day, he never knew the truth.

 

[Reokue]

LOL just happened to me today.

Woman pulls out her checkbook.
Me: I'm sorry but we don't take checks
Customer: Why not?
Me: Due to a large number of checks returning for insufficient funds.
Customer: But I wanna write a check.
Me: We accept cash or credit.
Customer: I don't have any cash.
Me: Well you can use your debit card for the account.
Customer: I can't use my debit card I don't have any money in my account!
Me: *facepalm*