Right about now?
- An XTR-57 Wolfrahm Ventilator railgun. 1-hit kill on anything less than a tank or a dragon, semi-auto fire, 50-round magazine, 3 spare mags, and no batteries. Have fun finding an appropriate power source!
- A Top Hat of Dreadful Incompetence (+10 to coolness, - 20 to common sense).
- A bottle of "Fastoon's Full Moon" liquor. You can use it to melt blast doors, or drink it... if you dare.
- A five-thousand year old Tome Of Eldritch Lore. Which contains a fine instruction on how to make a perfect sort of cheese.
- A chunk of raw cobalt weighing around 4 kilograms.
- A Googleplex Zimbvabvian Dollars (about $0.02).
- My appendix.