Women. Seriously. I am socially retarded, overweight, and suffer from low self-esteem. Women have always reacted negatively to all those things. It's not the rejection that bothers me. It's the laughter and ridicule, confirming my own worst thoughts about myself. I suppose what I really fear is inadequacy, but it shows itself most dealing with women.
Losing my mind. My grandmother had Alzheimer's and eventually died of it. The reality is she died a long time before she stopped walking around. For years she was a ghost, a wisp of nothing, growing ever fainter, trapped in futile attempts to continue a life she couldn't remember with people and places she no longer knew. If I ever become a useless, empty shell, somebody please tip me into a coffin and nail it shut. Death is better.
