What to do when your best friend is your biggest problem

[bluemistake2]

So I'll keep this short best I can, cause I know people hate really long posts.
Some things about myself, I'm 17, and in my senior years of high school.
I basically met this girl a year and a half ago, we quickly became friends and I always had some feelings for her.
Over the summer holidays, we began talking more and more, and my feelings for her grew, but due to us being good friends, I wasn't a romantical interest, I was basically seen as somewhat of a big brother figure in her life.

Over the year up till now, we became closer and closer friends, up to the point where we were each others best friends.
Now she does have love interests, which me being in the position I am, hurts but up till now i have been able to deal with it more then fine.
But there's one guy that just showed up in her life, I never had a problem with the whole 'lovey-dovey' acts and such but this I can't deal with, when they get overly physical (I.E. start feeling each other up right in front of everyone) and start flirting so much to the stage where they ignore everyone and everything and it's nearly impossible to get a response out of either of them, I get ridiculously annoyed to the stage where i'll crack it real bad.

So I don't know what to do, at this point, I just want to be over her because it's giving me a lot more trouble then its worth

TL;DR I'm in love with my best friend, need to get over her because i feel bad about a lot of stuff.

 

[Slash Dementia]

That's really tough.

I was in love with my best friend (now my girlfriend of almost a year and a half) and when she would talk about any guy or be flirting with someone, I found it unbearable. It hurt so much that that person she was talking about wasn't me. She also knew how I felt about her. It got so bad to the point where I just stopped talking to her for six months. When I started again, it was weird and she still talked about other guys, but she didn't know how I felt until she asked me a few months afterward. I really love(d) this girl. Eventually, she came upon some survey-type thing where it asked her "who do you think about" in different scenarios. She said that--if I remember correctly--all of them were me. She also told me how much she missed me and how life wasn't as meaningful with me away. Things picked up from there and now we're together.

I don't know how that's much of advice for you. Things are going to be difficult, and it was a mistake for me to leave her when I did. I wouldn't suggest it, even though it proved helpful to our feelings for each other.

Have you talked to your friend about your romantic interest for her? Sometimes when you say nothing, nothing happens.

If you want to get over her, spend time with another friend, or make more. But leave the love alone. I love the Shakespeare quote "Love sough is good, but given unsought is better." Mostly because I had never felt the way I did/do with my girlfriend as I have with ex's. Her and I have known each other for seven years and been together for way less than that. She's always been my friend and it makes me care more--more than people I wanted to love.

Sorry for the long post--especially if it doesn't help at all. Good luck.

 

[Stevo_s]

Way I see it:
1. Find new activities to do that won't involve your friend and that will open you up to new people. New people means new girls. New girls means starting new, and not being the "big brother" or "best-friend" type. But you have to realize when you meet a new possible love interest, man up and don't be afraid to shoot and miss.

2. Drink your feelings away, and don't forget to do drugs. They will help you cope for awhile. Plus they are really fun and help you meet very interesting and entertaining people. Well, drug and alcohol addictions are "supposed" to be bad. So this method probably wouldn't work very well.

3. Tell your friend that you have had feelings for her, discuss openly and get your heart broken directly by her face. I mean why suffer for months and longer when you can get rid of all doubt?

And I'm bored of this topic so.. end post :]

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

The single best bit of advice I can give is to find someone else. I'm sure that's harder than it sounds, but really, it works. You don't have to sacrifice your friendship, and you will (probably) lose your romantic feelings for them. Of course there's the added bonus of meeting someone else. At least, you should try looking for someone else.

 

[Sandernista]

Tell her about your feelings. If she doesn't reciprocate then so what? It'll suck because your friendship will never be the same, but it sucks a whole lot more to be in your current position.

 

[Galletea]

All you can really do here is find some new friends. There is no excuse for her to be ignoring you if you really are good friends. You've been close to her for a long time and that might be the only thing keeping you in love with her. Love is blind. Fact. Take a step back, leave her alone for a while and see if you still love her if you limit your contact with her a little. It would be unfair to tell her now, while she's in a relationship. It would not something she wants to hear, and it would only hurt you to tell her and be rejected. Maybe if you are not there for her all the time she might see what she's missing, or you might get over her.
It will be hard at first but in the long term it will be better for you than to keep punishing yourself by being in their company while they grope each other and ignore you.