bobby1361 said:
Overthinking the same thing over and over again, causing me to be unable to sleep, assuming the 'worst' has happened, although it's really none of my business.
huh... rabid overthinking is the cause of my insomnia as well.
well, i dont have that many problems, just a few VERY persistent, VERY aggravating ones. the biggest is that from apparently birth ive emitted a revolting aura that makes whoever smells it immediately think of everything they hate, because from my mother to my peers ive yet to find a single human being to relate to or who gives a rat's ass about me. that might sound very emo and pretentious, but im quite serious; the only person ive met who demonstrates some degree of concern is my grandmother, and she really needs to be in a mental institution because we always have 2 entirely different conversations and that woman just cannot mentally function on her own; i cant even blame senility because she isnt that old. the closest i came to a friend was in 1st grade, but in my infinite good fortune i moved during 1st grade (i was the smelly poor kid everyone avoided in kindergarden btw). i guess my point is that im as desperately lonely and horny as a human being can be and it drives me insane; no girlfriends, no friends that were girls, no FRIENDS to begin with....try as i might, i still cant get any, being social wildly beyond my introverted nature to the point where i feel like vomiting bile every time i get home from school, im on the verge of just giving up on human relationships all together and dedicating my life to building the world's first believable sexbot.
k, thats really my only problem, but its severly lowered my expectations from anything else in life, and looking back i was perfectly content living in a trailer drinking nothing but tap water and eating 4 for 1$ ramen noodles, so maybe some other problems really dont bother me.
well, my father who beat me as a kid now lives with his parents whom i also live with...thats fun.
and hearing the sad excuses of problems the yuppies at college droll on about is doing nothing for my anger or sanity.
oh yes, the insomnia i mentioned. with the right drugs i usually sleep about once every other day now, which is as good as i can expect, but recently its started getting worse, and to give you an example, a few years ago i once went somewhere over a week and less than 2 without sleep, which was a fun little bout with hallucinations and slowly waning grip on reality. for now, ive only gone 4 days without sleep, and so far i havent started melding dreams with reality again, but i did come pretty close to that yesterday.
looking back on this, evidence seems to point towards me being insane. huh. sorry it i went a bit too-much-information, but ive had literally zero outlets for this kind of stuff, so this is kind of a repressed min-rant.
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