What would be your family's crest?

[chiggerwood]

If you had to describe your family with a crest what would it look like?

Mine would have a hand doing the Jack-off motion in the middle, to the left would be someone rolling their eyes, to the right would be someone doing a facepalm, a border of middle fingers would surround the image, above the image would be the words "Do as I say, not as I do." and at the bottom it would just say "FUCK" in big bold letters.

P.S. Please keep it light hearted.

 

[KiloFox]

my family actually HAS a crest... it has swans and crap... it's pretty dumb

a sillowette of 2 people in an embrace while both trying to stab each other in the back. with the mushroom cloud of an atomic explosion in the background.

yeah. my family hates each other and is full of terrible people.

 

[Esotera]

I'm actually thinking of getting a tatoo of the motto, not too sure about the crest though. It needs more skulls and crossbones, and pirate stuff on it like pistols and rum.

 

[Calibanbutcher]

pff, I actually have no idea.
All of us have an IQ that would be considered "genius"-level, yet not a single one of us gives a single flying squirre-f*ck about that. And when we are all gathered at the table, we discuss everything from astrophysics to zoophilia, whilst also making the most tasteless jokes imaginable.
Most of us are borderline workaholics and the only guy who shares our last name who has risen to fame has done so by virtue of brutally murdering and woman cutting her to pieces. On a different continent, though.
So, I really wouldn't know what kind of crest to make out of that.

 

[Scarim Coral]

It would somehow contain an animal holding a wok and a football in the background. My families (older generation) are pretty much cook/ chief and also like animals. I also know for a fact that they all love fooball except for me.

 

[GrimTuesday]

Well, I already have one.

Spoiler

My personal coat of arms/crest would be a red bear on a field of grey with a diagonal black strip with gold trim

Spoiler: Something like this

 

[A Satanic Panda]

Spoiler

Already have one too.

How ever I would like some crest that represents something like military science, or the US Navy. One of my grandfathers worked at Los Alamos, the other fought in the Pacific in WWII on the USS Enterprise.

 

[AceDefective]

Seems like everyone already has one

Spoiler: This is mine

It's three boars
Looking it up it says that the mean "The wise shall have dominion over the stars"
I rather like it, I think I'll keep it.
Besides I don't think I'd be happy with a crest based off of me personally, what would it be? A couch and a computer? I'll pass

 

[Kae]

I have one already but I'm not familiar with it, I'll see if I can find it later.
Can't really remember what it was but it was from Medieval Spain.

 

[Lucem712]

Since my surname was actually a Duke-ship/territory in Spain (Still is, Me thinks), it has a Crest. It's a simple red shield with 3 stocks of wheat in a triangle formation, nothin' fancy. Probably has to do with the main export of that territory or somethin'.

 

[Judgment90]

my family has a coat of arms with a Silver Wolf on it.

 

[Daverson]

Yep. I can join the "already have one" gang too.

This:

But with a red stripe over (I found out that it depends on the way the stripe is what it means. The one that means the family is bastard royalty? It's not that one. It's the other one.)

I was thinking, I should make a shield with it on... I don't know if that's what you do with a crest, but I've always wanted a shield...

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

So judging by all the comments above, is it just a common thing Europeans to have a crest? I thought only the riches families of Europe had one?

 

[Nerexor]

I'd go for a baguette with a broken crown, because family legend holds we're bastard descendents of Louis XIV. No idea how true it is, but apparently he named all his many many bastards with our surname, so I guess it's possible.

 

[Nvv]

So judging by all the comments above, is it just a common thing Europeans to have a crest? I thought only the riches families of Europe had one?

I don't know if it's common, but I suppose when you're tracing your lineage it's just mathematically unlikely not to come across someone who had a crest of some sort, which in turn would mean you have a crest.

Not actually sure if it's restricted to aristocracy though, my family is Norwegian Peasantry/Fishermen and we have a crest which was used to mark our fishingnets and the boundposts on our quite small plots of land. I can't provide a picture though, but it looks quite stereotypically old-nordic. Not rampant anmials or anything, just an intricate pattern.

EDIT: On second thought I'm not even sure that can be classified as a crest; it's more like the sign of the family, Not a coat of arms.

 

[Olas]

Mine would look something like this.

 

[sextus the crazy]

Don't have one, but If I did, It would look like the top of my nightstand: two parallel piles of books with the dictionary, king of books, on top.

 

[GTwander]

A passant tuxedo cat, with crossed beer bottles over a plate of tacos.

 

[Best of the 3]

Already got one. I think the lower part means Strong, courageous and swift. I wouldn't change it. I like it. It's pretty spiffy

 

[catalyst8]

As far as I'm aware there's only one other family with a monkey or ape on their crest.
Ours is there because of our second motto 'Non immemor beneficii', we don't forget a favour.