Assuming I was automatically told my spirit was disturbed and I couldn't find rest? I would swear incoherantly for a few hours to show my level-headedness, whether the feeble mortals could hear me or not. Then, if my ghostly power wasn't an issue, I would pick a random house and begin the weirdest haunting in unrecorded history:
1. Smear fun facts on ceilings in strawberry jam. "The tip of a shoelace is called an aglet."
2. Turn TV's to the Discovery channel if possible. I feel that sends a message or two.
3. Use the tenants' computers to Google "How to build a bomb" or "I want to kill the president" or "How to rob a bank"
4. Gently open doors for the inhabitants and slam them shut so people think they have anger issues.
5. Place icecubes in people's beds as they sleep.
6. Wait for someone to drink from a clear glass and stand in front of them as they do. When they've drunk enough to see through the bottom of the glass as they drink, I'd become visible with no skin on my face.
7. I'd possibly imitate scenes from Beetlejuice at some point.
8. Shake up every drink in the fridge on a daily basis.
9. Create echos a good 30-40 seconds after someone says something.
10. Alter the images given off by mirrors so no-one can shave or apply make-up properly.
11. If anyone sings in the shower, I'd draw Simon Cowell's face in the mirror.
12. Anytime someone spends more than 4 seconds in a very poorly lit room, I'd imitate Kayako's death rattle. (which always sounded like fucked up belching to me) This includes going to sleep at night.
13. Finally, I would leave jam-free notes similar to those seen here: [http://katytowell.com/projects/31-letters-from-the-previous-inhabitants/]
Rhyming included, but with less blood... or coherant meaning. Better handwriting, though.
If, at the seance or exorcism, they ask why I do this, I'd tell them: "Oh, I'm sorry, apparently I'm DISTURBED OOOOoooOOoooo!"
EDIT: I've got another one:
14. Any time someone starts running, for any reason, I'd replicate the Benny Hill chase theme until they stopped. I've lost count of how many times fictional hauntings have resulted in noises or music, so it might work as well as anything else.
1. Smear fun facts on ceilings in strawberry jam. "The tip of a shoelace is called an aglet."
2. Turn TV's to the Discovery channel if possible. I feel that sends a message or two.
3. Use the tenants' computers to Google "How to build a bomb" or "I want to kill the president" or "How to rob a bank"
4. Gently open doors for the inhabitants and slam them shut so people think they have anger issues.
5. Place icecubes in people's beds as they sleep.
6. Wait for someone to drink from a clear glass and stand in front of them as they do. When they've drunk enough to see through the bottom of the glass as they drink, I'd become visible with no skin on my face.
7. I'd possibly imitate scenes from Beetlejuice at some point.
8. Shake up every drink in the fridge on a daily basis.
9. Create echos a good 30-40 seconds after someone says something.
10. Alter the images given off by mirrors so no-one can shave or apply make-up properly.
11. If anyone sings in the shower, I'd draw Simon Cowell's face in the mirror.
12. Anytime someone spends more than 4 seconds in a very poorly lit room, I'd imitate Kayako's death rattle. (which always sounded like fucked up belching to me) This includes going to sleep at night.
13. Finally, I would leave jam-free notes similar to those seen here: [http://katytowell.com/projects/31-letters-from-the-previous-inhabitants/]
Rhyming included, but with less blood... or coherant meaning. Better handwriting, though.
If, at the seance or exorcism, they ask why I do this, I'd tell them: "Oh, I'm sorry, apparently I'm DISTURBED OOOOoooOOoooo!"
EDIT: I've got another one:
14. Any time someone starts running, for any reason, I'd replicate the Benny Hill chase theme until they stopped. I've lost count of how many times fictional hauntings have resulted in noises or music, so it might work as well as anything else.
