What's the deal with men/women?
- Thread starter Kennah
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I've tried explaining to him, but he never seems to see the bad in the women he dates until it's to late. I honestly believe it's a combination of bad breakups and loneliness that drives him to getting into quick, unsuccessful relationships. After every relationship ends he always says he's going to stop dating for a while, but what he really means is that he's going to stop for about 2-3 weeks then look for someone new. I guess you have to admire that level of persistence. No matter how hard he gets knocked down he just gets right back up...though every time he does he grows a little more bitter.Charli said:
[HEADING=3]Welcome to the Escapist Forums![/HEADING]
Anywho~
Unless it's mutual, break-ups will always be messy and awkward.
From what I've seen (extreme emphasis on the I part [small]girls please don't gang up on me and beat me up :c[/small]) girls tend to be quite needy, the girls in my year basically all ditched their friends as soon as they've found a boyfriend and just glomp him constantly.
Guys tend to be... insensitive to say the least, and retarded at worst. We're not the best at making decisions so in fairness girls do have to put up with a lot.
Anywho~
Unless it's mutual, break-ups will always be messy and awkward.
From what I've seen (extreme emphasis on the I part [small]girls please don't gang up on me and beat me up :c[/small]) girls tend to be quite needy, the girls in my year basically all ditched their friends as soon as they've found a boyfriend and just glomp him constantly.
Guys tend to be... insensitive to say the least, and retarded at worst. We're not the best at making decisions so in fairness girls do have to put up with a lot.
Sounds like he is kind of dependant on a relationship for him to be happy, it sounds harsh but you might want to try and find out how he feels about being alone. Alot of people just want to dive back into a relationship no one likes loosing something that was dear to them.Kennah said:
I broke up with my ex about a year and 3 months ago, it's only over the past 4 months i have stopped being so bitter with the world. You could try suggesting just having some "me" time to your friend, he must love doing something by himself or with friends convince him to binge out on it. Seriously try and convince him he doesn't need to be in a realtionship to enjoy life.
I could have got the wrong end of the stick entirley here, but being in a reltionship just to not be alone doesn't work ever.
Kinda related:
Shit by your definition this makes me the woman in my relation-shits >:C crap.Keoul said:
I must be really really really lucky in this regard because my girlfriend is just as blunt and upfront as I am. She's a godsend compared to the nonsense I had to deal with in my last relationship.
This is kind of a really broad topic so I guess I'll just give the random thoughts rattling around in my brain at this ungodly hour.
Never fall into that trap of "I will always put them before myself!" because then you never think of yourself even if you're suffering, and if your spouse doesn't care that you're suffering, they're no spouse at all. Yes it is good to be selfless and caring and to always be someone they can count on, but you don't want to suffer just because you feel like you're obligated to continue the relationship. Your needs are as important as your spouse's and if neither of you recognize that, failure is imminent.
Oh I know I'm the girl in my relationship.Rastien said:
Although the clinging is pretty mutual and constant.I don't know if I should be afraid or proud that my girlfriend could kill me with her bare hands.
The "Scorched earth" policy I actually found quite liberating, though obviously only total shitheads deserve that treatment. Anger is a great panacea for sadness. It was for me anyway, but maybe I'm just inclined towards darkside of the Force.Thunderous Cacophony said:
I lost nearly half a dozen friends and a "girlfriend" and I'm happier than I've ever been.
Something I heard, regarding psychology to do with genders and stuff...
Men: Fight or flight.
Women: Tend and befriend.
Men: Fight or flight.
Women: Tend and befriend.
Seems like you two ought to try dating. Both of you have been screwed before by the opposite gender, both of you seem to understand how frustrating it can be. Both of you are nice people, from what I can see, just tired of being abused.Kennah said:
I've gone through the explanation that some alone time might do him some good, but then he completely ignores it later on and goes on the prowl again. He'll actually be coming over today so I'll try to enforce the lesson again, but there's a high possibility that he'll just go right back to dating again.
Oh, one more thing. I don't want to go into to much detail, but two of my relationships were not with the...*coughs* opposite gender *coughs*.
What, you mean like date each other? Actually the first time we met he tried to ask me out on a date, but I refused. Still, we became friends though because we had so much in common. Besides, I don't do well with dating. I've been in about 5 relationships in my life, but they never went well. Some were stagnant, others tried to use me for only sex, and the rest just weren't all that compatible.chadachada123 said:
Oh, one more thing. I don't want to go into to much detail, but two of my relationships were not with the...*coughs* opposite gender *coughs*.
what is this logic that women think breaking up is easy? It is noooooooooooooot that way. It is more like...women figure out that we want out of the relationship long before action, in most cases. Often a woman will get a feeling things aren't working out, and often they try to deny it. They don't necessarily want to break up at first, but eventually the relationship has run its course for them. I think women tend to prioritize emotionally, and that some women have come to prioritize their "needs and/or wants".This is based on my experience and my friends experiences that I have observed. The friend could be a nice guy, and a good friend. But being in a relationship can be sooo very different.Being a "nice guy" doesn't mean he is good in relationships. Some of the nicest guys in history have been completely assholes to their significant others.Of course my feelings on excuses are pretty widely known at this point because of the thread I made. He could just be shifting the blame do to feeling "less than". Probably is. He seriously needs to consider the women he dates, they may be pretty, but a golden bag can be filled with the smelliest shit.
I've been in one relationship so far, during which I tried repeatedly to tell my boyfriend what was going on in my head in no uncertain terms and how I felt about him ignoring me for weeks on end - he just didn't seem to get it.
Eventually I cut to the chase and asked him to spend more time with me or else I would end it (note, he was the one who kept pushing for a relationship that I didn't want but was peer-pressured into) he shrugged so I ended it. And boy did it feel good to not constantly feel that I was doing something wrong that had warranted the cold shoulder!
At the moment I'm on the brink of a new relationship, and from what I've seen so far this guy seems a lot nicer and more communicative ^_^
Eventually I cut to the chase and asked him to spend more time with me or else I would end it (note, he was the one who kept pushing for a relationship that I didn't want but was peer-pressured into) he shrugged so I ended it. And boy did it feel good to not constantly feel that I was doing something wrong that had warranted the cold shoulder!
At the moment I'm on the brink of a new relationship, and from what I've seen so far this guy seems a lot nicer and more communicative ^_^
i think people dont know what they want out of relationship, i mean, when you're 20 or so, what do you know about life? even old people dont know it sometimes......
also, miscommunication. thats always a problem. if you dont talk, those little things keep stacking up until one of the two explode. the other one will look surprised, because well - its often the first time they hear there is a problem. and yet they receive the "jackpot" of year long stacking.
thats my theory, but its just that - a theory.
as to break up - there is pretty much no way to do it "perfectly". SOMEONE is going to get hurt, unless they didnt care about you for a LONG time.....
also, miscommunication. thats always a problem. if you dont talk, those little things keep stacking up until one of the two explode. the other one will look surprised, because well - its often the first time they hear there is a problem. and yet they receive the "jackpot" of year long stacking.
thats my theory, but its just that - a theory.
as to break up - there is pretty much no way to do it "perfectly". SOMEONE is going to get hurt, unless they didnt care about you for a LONG time.....