What's wrong with Polygamy

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Quiet Stranger

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So a few days ago I just read up something about a ban on Polygamy (in the newspaper or something) and it just made me think what exactly is wrong with it? I use to hate it to for some reason (when I was religious.....and stupid (believe'd anything people told me....usually)from what I understand polygamy is having multiple wives (or lovers in general) now i can't see anything wrong with that (unless there's more to it) especially if you love all your wives (or both if you only have two) equally, so what is wrong with it??
 

Krantos

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Jun 30, 2009
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I think that the main problem is that, in most societies with it, there is a significant gender gap when it comes to rights. Women typically have no say in the matter and it really does nothing else than serve as a replacement for divorce when a man gets tired of his current wife. I mean, in our society most women get upset when their husband/boyfriend/lover even looks at another woman for too long. Do you honestly think that they'd be okay with sharing?

Now that's not always an issue. I know there are some people that have open relationships and both parties are ok with it. I'm personally a monogamist through and through, but if a system could be designed that ensured all partners in a polygamist marriage equal rights then I wouldn't be opposed to other people doing it.

As to why it's banned instead of restricted? Same reason Gay marriage is banned. Simple bigotry. And that's coming from a Christian. The separation of Church and state is there for a reason. Popular government is not the same as Mob rule.
 

Vampire cat

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Apr 21, 2010
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Maybe the wifes are the ones being considered here? Oh, wait. Males rule the world. I forget.
 

randomrob

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As long as all the parties involved are happy with the set up, then it's fine in my opinion.
 

Shockolate

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Feb 27, 2010
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You know how bad divorces can get?

Imagine that. Except worse.

EDIT: I just remembered something.

Polygamy is where you are married to several different wives.

Polyamory is where you just have sex with different girls while they all know.

The latter would probably be more Ideal. None of the Divorce nastiness I spoke of before. Plus, there's no law against Polyamorous relationships.

Now all you gotta deal with is a bunch of needy females......Good luck there buddy!
 

ZippyDSMlee

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The problem with it? Nothing really, other than moralists and traditionalists frying their brains over it...people....you think to much.....

I will say if anything is bad is the closed nature of the group, IMO the more closed a group is the more human services needs to visit them and interview all members once or twice a year. The more closed it is the easier it is for abuse to happen and that goes beyond polygamy, any human group that lives away from normal society has a higher chance of some abuse. Those that live in the open have more resources to get out of it if need be.

It would be easy to make it legal all adult parties involved sign a prenup, and a elgal disclaimer if any child under the age of 17 is abused the marriage is nullified and fines levied against all members.
 

Darth Caelum

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If everyone agrees[sub]Yeah, good luck with that[/sub] I believe it's fine.
You can't eliminate something just because you disagree with it, that is a VERY destructive attitude to take.
I Personally have no problem with it, and as long as everyone agrees, do what you want, and as long as it hurts no one in the process.
 

Drakmeire

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I never really saw a problem with it either, though the cultures that allow it use it as a status symbol, the more spouses you have the richer you are since you need money to support them all. But you never really hear about women having more than one husband, it's probably because of the male-dominated world we live in or maybe because every women knows that it's a horrible idea to have more than one husband.
 

Valksy

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Polygamy or polyandry - I have no problem so long as everyone is a consenting adult. Of course if there is taxation/financial benefits from marriage then it needs to be measured and considered in terms of multiple parties but that is just red tape.

But then I would be quite a believer in polyamory - being that way inclined myself (or possibly because I have the morals of an alley cat, depending on who you talk to).
 

high_castle

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Polygamy is actually marrying separate people, while polyamory is simply being in relationships with them. The problem with polygamy as I understand it now is the tax issue. Right now, couple get pretty significant tax breaks for getting married. I don't think the government is quite forward-thinking enough to work out how to apply benefits to polygamous marriages. I'm not saying the government's right, I just think that's the excuse all but the hard-core Christian right are using.

Personally, I would never be in a polyamorous relationship, but if that's what floats your boat and no one's getting hurt, go for it. But it's one of those things that will take a long time to come to acceptance, I think. I believe we'll have gay marriage long before recognition for polygamy comes onto the table, just judging from the social trends so far.
 

Baby Tea

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Sep 18, 2008
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Shockolate said:
You know how bad divorces can get?

Imagine that. Except worse.
This, and...

blue_guy said:
Most people find the idea of having to "share" your lover kinda' weird and mental-scar-inducing, therefore they stop other people from doing it.
This.

Marriages, successful ones, are hard enough as it is. It takes real work to be and stay with someone you love. The legal ramifications of divorcing would be crazy, especially if there were children from multiple women involved. And the psychological issues of kids having many moms and dads would be weighty, I'm sure, along with the fact that most people aren't polygamous in nature.

With roots in showing a man's power and authority where women were used as bartering tools to gain land and wealth, it just seems like an extremely bad idea, overall.
 

Seldon2639

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Evolutionarily speaking, the problem with polygamy (aside from an arguably unhealthy lack of diversity in the gene pool, and the often abusive nature of such set-ups) is that it adversely affects the majority of the male population. We'll even ignore the whole "most polygamous societies (Fundamentalist Mormons being the example that comes to mind most easily) either kill or exile male children in order to keep their gender ratios sufficiently imbalanced" thing.

Basically, it's just a numbers game. For every man with two wives, one man goes without a wife. So, here's how it breaks down:

Polygamy:

-Good for the most desirable men, who can really live like a pimp.
-Good for the majority of women, who can share the most desirable man, and be both supported by the wealthiest man/men, and have the "best" babies
-Bad for the most desirable women, who have to share the most desirable men.
-Bad for the majority of men, who won't get a wife at all, and thus are unlikely to reproduce

Monogamy:

-Good for the majority of men, who are likely to get at least someone to make babies with
-Good for the most desirable women, who can monopolize the most desirable men
-Bad for the most desirable men, who have to accept being limited to only one wife when they could have many
-Bad for the majority of women who have to accept marrying from the unwashed masses of undesirable men.
 

Palademon

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Quiet Stranger said:
So a few days ago I just read up something about a ban on Polygamy (in the newspaper or something) and it just made me think what exactly is wrong with it? I use to hate it to for some reason (when I was religious.....and stupid (believe'd anything people told me....usually)from what I understand polygamy is having multiple wives (or lovers in general) now i can't see anything wrong with that (unless there's more to it) especially if you love all your wives (or both if you only have two) equally, so what is wrong with it??
Dude, you've found your NEW religion. You are now a Morman.
 

Vitor Goncalves

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Mar 22, 2010
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Seldon2639 said:
Evolutionarily speaking, the problem with polygamy (aside from an arguably unhealthy lack of diversity in the gene pool, and the often abusive nature of such set-ups) is that it adversely affects the majority of the male population. We'll even ignore the whole "most polygamous societies (Fundamentalist Mormons being the example that comes to mind most easily) either kill or exile male children in order to keep their gender ratios sufficiently imbalanced" thing.

Basically, it's just a numbers game. For every man with two wives, one man goes without a wife. So, here's how it breaks down:

Polygamy:

-Good for the most desirable men, who can really live like a pimp.
-Good for the majority of women, who can share the most desirable man, and be both supported by the wealthiest man/men, and have the "best" babies
-Bad for the most desirable women, who have to share the most desirable men.
-Bad for the majority of men, who won't get a wife at all, and thus are unlikely to reproduce

Monogamy:

-Good for the majority of men, who are likely to get at least someone to make babies with
-Good for the most desirable women, who can monopolize the most desirable men
-Bad for the most desirable men, who have to accept being limited to only one wife when they could have many
-Bad for the majority of women who have to accept marrying from the unwashed masses of undesirable men.
Thats just Polygyny. Polygamy can be both ways, with a woman having several men. I assume you are male and didn't even consider the other way around. And polygyny is good for most woman becaquse they can share the most desirable men? Damn I didnt know if I could share my car with more people that would be much better then keep it just for myself. That also throws down your assumptuion women monopolizing man with monogamy is a bad thing, as a man you just prefer men to monopolize women. I guess even going through the rest seems a very sexist point of view. You just put it on men perspective.

I guess its that way of thinking that makes me fill polygamy is a bad idea because like you put it, most men just think of polygyny. Men tend to see women as inferior and like many people already said it would (like you actually see on polygamist societies) increase even more the gap between both gender rights.
 

Xorghul

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Jul 2, 2008
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As long as both are ok, there shouldn't be a problem me thinks. And by both I mean polygyny and polyandry.
 

kickyourass

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Apr 17, 2010
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Hey if you can manage to convince more then one partner to not only marry you, but share you with the other(s), I say you almost deserve it. I see nothing wrong with it as long as everyone involved has a say in it.
 

Kie

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Apr 1, 2010
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Like someone said it's the same reason why gay marriage is banned. Old views and marriage is sacred should be one person and different sex etc. etc.

I'll be a bit biased on this though because I was raised in a polygamy family so yeah.