What's your favourite way to cuss without cussing.

[PatrickXD]

I used to swear all the time when I was a little younger, probably thought it was cool because my parents swear a lot. As of the past couple of years though I swear a lot less. I usually fall back to darn and gosh, or even 'gosh darn it' when playing videogames online. As has been mentioned previously in the thread, I've also dropped the @#!? from sonofabitch, and sometimes even just mother instead of mother$%@#?!.

EDIT: Actually, when I say mother, I kind of grunt after it. It's more like "Oh, you motherrrrrrrgh!"

EDIT 2: How did I not notice this? I say BUGGER. Oh bugger! Bugger that! Bugger orf, you! What the buggering hell is going on!?

 

[rob_simple]

Being British, I have an arsenal of fake-swears at my disposal, I actually enjoy using them more than actual swear words.

Some of my personal favourites include:
Crikey
Good grief
Bloomin' heck
Fiddlesticks
Butter my crumpets/arse.
That is seriously bad news bears.

And one I picked up from my Dad, but have never, ever understood: "Aw hell's bells and buckets of blood."

 

[Boris Goodenough]

Fiddlesticks and hay, or just going "argh!"

 

[takemeouttotheblack]

Either go with CMJ of TMS's 'fiddlesticks', and indeed 'fiddlesticking', of the joys of contracting shits and giggles into shiggles.

 

[ZippyDSMlee]

Fudge....just fudge.......

 

[Rook]

I usually start the first couple of letters of the word, a bit of hesitation, and then through in some nice, whole-hearted improv:
"Ah sssssssshhhhizzle biscuits" or "OH MY FFFfffffraggle rock"
"You're a whhhoreo"

I normally only remember I can't swear as I'm swearing, so this happens a lot.

 

[Hazy992]

There is only one answer:

TBH though I don't really censor swear words and if I have I don't remember what with.

 

[doggy go 7]

The closest I get to not swearing is balls, but I swear so much I never bother to censor myself, so if I say a word that isn't a swear word, I'm likely doing it to take the piss more than anything else

 

[Starik20X6]

"WHAT THE PFARGTL?!" - Homestar Runner

Also, I love the way Olan Rogers [http://www.youtube.com/user/OlanRogers] talks. He's just got the best speech patterns and the most creative use of words...

And "that really rustled my jimmies" has cemented itself in my vocabulary. It just makes me happy to say it- in fact, just saying that my jimmies are rustled unrustles my jimmies.

 

[Kyrian007]

An old west "gunfight reenact-or" I met once said that in his act whenever they wanted to talk about someone (usually a heckler or drunk spectator) during the "family friendly" event they would use the phrase "Well bless his heart" as a direct substitute for "That guy's a fucking moron." Me and the hosts of my morning talk radio show have always since used that phrase to refer to callers. Only our really close and good listeners know what that means...

 

[WindKnight]

I'm rather partial to Frak and Fudge. Fudgeholes is pretty good too.

 

[soren7550]

Generally, I have no reason to censor myself.

The closest I can think of is calling the boyfriend a Bidoof instead of stupid/doofus/etc. since those'd be mean, and fig ol' bitties I use just to be 'funny'.

 

[Hero of Lime]

"WHAT THE PFARGTL?!" - Homestar Runner

I've actually used that a lot. People think I'm cussing in another language or something. XD

OT: Not the biggest fan of cussing personally, so I usually say the pg versions, freaking, darn, dang, gosh, shoot, fudge, etc. It's gotten to the point where I'm not censoring my self, these are all part of my vocabulary. I don't mind hearing cussing one bit of course, I just don't care to use it.

 

[Whispering Cynic]

I either cuss, or I don't. In a situation when I can't cuss I'll refrain from it completely rather than to make childish alterations to my words. I fucking hate censorship of any kind, you know.

 

[THEMILKMAN]

"Cheese and crackers!"

 

[BartyMae]

"Gosh darnit", "gull dangit", "bullcrap"...actually, I don't ever swear, so these are as far as I'm willing to go,

 

[EyeReaper]

My personal favorite i got from my latin class, so whenever i need to subtly swear, i always say "Mater Fornicatio" which roughly translates to (hehehe rough) "Mother fucking"

 

[M0rp43vs]

If I can control my mouth properly, A spoonerism is often a fan-tucking fastic way of telling that bouchedag that you are up to shear with his hits and that you want him to fuck off.

 

[lacktheknack]

"What the chuffing existence is this?!"

Alternatively, start yelling in Russian.

 

[Bestival]

Hm, I don't really ever not swear. I don't mean that in a tourette's syndrome type of way, but more in a 'when I cuss I cuss, no substitutes!' way.

The closest I come is leaving the 'sake' out of "Oh for fuck's sake".