What's your life's "that"?
- Thread starter Queen Michael
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The biggest one would be the moment I finally got help for my near-suicidal depression.
Before that I was...well, just like you expect from someone suffering from that, and afterwards I finally got myself into college which lead to me finally getting friends again. I'm not at the point where I want to be yet, as the proper "after" period has only been going on for a year now but who knows what'll happen in another two years.
Minor ones would be when I discovered my dad's old Storm comics (not the X-Men chick, the other comics) and finally got Pokemon Red. Those are the two things who really made a geek out of me. But they happened at a pretty early age so there wasn't much of a "before" period.
Before that I was...well, just like you expect from someone suffering from that, and afterwards I finally got myself into college which lead to me finally getting friends again. I'm not at the point where I want to be yet, as the proper "after" period has only been going on for a year now but who knows what'll happen in another two years.
Minor ones would be when I discovered my dad's old Storm comics (not the X-Men chick, the other comics) and finally got Pokemon Red. Those are the two things who really made a geek out of me. But they happened at a pretty early age so there wasn't much of a "before" period.
Don't really know.
Probably the most 'moment' moment though is either playing Final Fantasy IX for the first time, because that was when I knew that I was going to be big into videogames, or when I first read a book called Nathan's Switch, that talked about the main character taking his dad's guitar and posing with it in front of a mirror. Being curious, I took one of my dad's guitars and posed in front of a mirror, and pretty much right there and then decided that I wanted to learn to play the guitar.
Eleven years later and I'm playing gigs and open mic nights and all sorts, all because of that one decision to try posing in front of a mirror.
Probably the most 'moment' moment though is either playing Final Fantasy IX for the first time, because that was when I knew that I was going to be big into videogames, or when I first read a book called Nathan's Switch, that talked about the main character taking his dad's guitar and posing with it in front of a mirror. Being curious, I took one of my dad's guitars and posed in front of a mirror, and pretty much right there and then decided that I wanted to learn to play the guitar.
Eleven years later and I'm playing gigs and open mic nights and all sorts, all because of that one decision to try posing in front of a mirror.
Probably when i became a teenager, im not talking about the hormones or the sudden need for sex. It was my early teens where i, for lack of a better word, changed, i finally got over my lonely and sad childhood and for the first time seeing the world in a brighter light.
Granted i still have some mental issues and i am still a nervous wreck when it comes to socializing, but i have promised myself to never reach such a dark place emotionally again.
It was also the time i taught myself to never take shit from anyone.
Granted i still have some mental issues and i am still a nervous wreck when it comes to socializing, but i have promised myself to never reach such a dark place emotionally again.
It was also the time i taught myself to never take shit from anyone.
Deciding that I wanted to go to an engineering school instead of a small liberal arts college.
It the first time in my life I'd intentionally taken the path of greater resistance, or for that matter had more faith in my ability than those around me.
Wish I could say that it changed me in some profound way, but it was was very momentary. I just made the decision and committed to it as hard as possible, knowing that when I started to regret it, I'd be too cowardly to turn back.
Got to admit. For a spineless bastard, I at least know how to use it to my advantage.
A year later, the discovery of my affinity for vodka was also pretty big.
EDIT: God I hope I get better ones later in life.
It the first time in my life I'd intentionally taken the path of greater resistance, or for that matter had more faith in my ability than those around me.
Wish I could say that it changed me in some profound way, but it was was very momentary. I just made the decision and committed to it as hard as possible, knowing that when I started to regret it, I'd be too cowardly to turn back.
Got to admit. For a spineless bastard, I at least know how to use it to my advantage.
A year later, the discovery of my affinity for vodka was also pretty big.
EDIT: God I hope I get better ones later in life.
being as i am only 16, my "That" was fairly recent
about 18 months ago, probably closer to 20 now, when i first met my friend zach. since then i have become a fan of 40k, gotten myself a small group (which is ever expanding) of geeky friends whom i am absolutely certain i will remain in contact with for a VERY long time, even with my transferring schools, and most likely past college
about 18 months ago, probably closer to 20 now, when i first met my friend zach. since then i have become a fan of 40k, gotten myself a small group (which is ever expanding) of geeky friends whom i am absolutely certain i will remain in contact with for a VERY long time, even with my transferring schools, and most likely past college
I've got a couple.
In fifth grade. I'd been bullied for years. Bullying at the level which I cannot even begin to discuss. I was psychologically beaten down and couldn't even conceptualize defending myself. Then they started picking on my brother. I snapped. I spent the whole year beating up every person who tried to bully me, and by the end none of did. I still didn't have any friends, but I had myself. I found myself at the age of 10, and I wasn't going to let anyone take me from myself ever again.
The second, at the age of 17, was meeting and then dating my boyfriend. He was the only person I had truly connected with in years. I wasn't a particularly social person, what with all the emotional scarring during my formative years, and up until then I was seriously starved for genuine affection from my peers, and he gave me that, and so much more. He has lasted five years so far, cause I like him and all.
The third, was in the middle of freshman year at college. I was drinking a cup of chamomile tea, and suddenly, my experiences up to that point clicked, and I felt like I could see things through my own eyes. It's difficult to explain, but it completely shaped my emotional and social life since then. I made friends, real friends. I hadn't had that before.
The fourth, is my younger brother's death. My heart broke in ways I didn't know were possible. I hurt in ways I had never known, and I have a hole in my world that won't close. That same year seven other people I knew died, some closer to me than others. That type of thing... changes everything. How you relate to your emotions, how you deal with other people's emotions, how you think about humanity as a whole.
In fifth grade. I'd been bullied for years. Bullying at the level which I cannot even begin to discuss. I was psychologically beaten down and couldn't even conceptualize defending myself. Then they started picking on my brother. I snapped. I spent the whole year beating up every person who tried to bully me, and by the end none of did. I still didn't have any friends, but I had myself. I found myself at the age of 10, and I wasn't going to let anyone take me from myself ever again.
The second, at the age of 17, was meeting and then dating my boyfriend. He was the only person I had truly connected with in years. I wasn't a particularly social person, what with all the emotional scarring during my formative years, and up until then I was seriously starved for genuine affection from my peers, and he gave me that, and so much more. He has lasted five years so far, cause I like him and all.
The third, was in the middle of freshman year at college. I was drinking a cup of chamomile tea, and suddenly, my experiences up to that point clicked, and I felt like I could see things through my own eyes. It's difficult to explain, but it completely shaped my emotional and social life since then. I made friends, real friends. I hadn't had that before.
The fourth, is my younger brother's death. My heart broke in ways I didn't know were possible. I hurt in ways I had never known, and I have a hole in my world that won't close. That same year seven other people I knew died, some closer to me than others. That type of thing... changes everything. How you relate to your emotions, how you deal with other people's emotions, how you think about humanity as a whole.
I think it happened about 6 months ago, back in January. I started going for walks outside, started trying to take better care of myself, started trusting people more and became more comfortable with myself in general. I still tend to get anxious around groups of people, but I feel a lot less miserable now than I used to. And I attribute this all to one game: Katawa Shoujo.
KS isn't really the topic of much discussion any more, but the way that the characters and story are written really, really affected me. It was pretty inspiring. It made me feel like I wasn't the only one who was miserable, but it also made me feel like I can do something about it. I'm not going to go running at 6 AM every day, but I have the power to make my life better in my own ways. It made me realize that I'm not alone in the world; everyone has issues, and they're trying their best to cope with it. I can try my best, too.
However, it also made me realize another reason why I always felt so alone, despite all of the people who claim to like me. It's my own fault; I'm keeping people at bay. I'm distancing myself from them, then expecting them to come to me. I've made the decision to not be so distant from my friends. It's difficult, but I think I'm getting somewhere.
To sum up my feelings: I am not alone, I am not strange, and I can do something about my sadness. That is what Katawa Shoujo helped me realize.
I'm only 16, and I think there'll be many things that affect my life more than this. This is something that helped me to mature and feel a lot better about myself. My only hope right now is that I will continue to learn and grow as a person.
KS isn't really the topic of much discussion any more, but the way that the characters and story are written really, really affected me. It was pretty inspiring. It made me feel like I wasn't the only one who was miserable, but it also made me feel like I can do something about it. I'm not going to go running at 6 AM every day, but I have the power to make my life better in my own ways. It made me realize that I'm not alone in the world; everyone has issues, and they're trying their best to cope with it. I can try my best, too.
However, it also made me realize another reason why I always felt so alone, despite all of the people who claim to like me. It's my own fault; I'm keeping people at bay. I'm distancing myself from them, then expecting them to come to me. I've made the decision to not be so distant from my friends. It's difficult, but I think I'm getting somewhere.
To sum up my feelings: I am not alone, I am not strange, and I can do something about my sadness. That is what Katawa Shoujo helped me realize.
I'm only 16, and I think there'll be many things that affect my life more than this. This is something that helped me to mature and feel a lot better about myself. My only hope right now is that I will continue to learn and grow as a person.
Getting my 2nd degree black belt in Tae-Kwon-Do and doing a nun-chuck routine at my school talent show. I never had a problem with bullying, but from that day forward I was ever certain that anyone who tried to harm me was in for a serious ass-kicking.
Guess you could call it a permanent confidence-booster
Guess you could call it a permanent confidence-booster
I don't think I've hit "that" point yet.
I've had some big moments...But nothing life defining.
I mean...Going to CEGEP after high school and finally learning to open myself up and not be so reclusive...
Learning to accept the part of my mind I hated most...Getting over my self hatred...
My degree going nowhere, working as a game tester for a year, then coming back to CEGEP to take the program I WANTED to take in the first place...
And most recently (a Year and a half ago), Meeting my GF.
All are huge moments...but nothing that has been a massive life changing moment that changes everything.
EDIT: Well...All of these did help me change my outlook and everything, but so far, starting a relationship has been the biggest and most noticeable change in my outlook. It's what finally killed off most of my remaining self hate.
I've had some big moments...But nothing life defining.
I mean...Going to CEGEP after high school and finally learning to open myself up and not be so reclusive...
Learning to accept the part of my mind I hated most...Getting over my self hatred...
My degree going nowhere, working as a game tester for a year, then coming back to CEGEP to take the program I WANTED to take in the first place...
And most recently (a Year and a half ago), Meeting my GF.
All are huge moments...but nothing that has been a massive life changing moment that changes everything.
EDIT: Well...All of these did help me change my outlook and everything, but so far, starting a relationship has been the biggest and most noticeable change in my outlook. It's what finally killed off most of my remaining self hate.
Not to bring the mood down, but losing my mother to cancer, or hearing that her cancer was back and couldn't be removed that time round. It really is a life changer, I can't imagine how life was before it now, when I remember it it kind of seems more like a TV show that I used to watch, not a life that I lived.
I went on a date with an outspoken feminist, Which then lead me to actually looking into social issues, politics and considering more seriously studying at university.
Meeting certain people. Before "that" I was insecure and self-hating, after "that" I felt better about myself and for the first time I felt like I mattered to people.
As cheesy as it sounds, it's true. And everything's good.
And I like to think of it as a kick in the face to the people who say friends you make over the internet aren't real friends. Yeeeaahh.
As cheesy as it sounds, it's true. And everything's good.
And I like to think of it as a kick in the face to the people who say friends you make over the internet aren't real friends. Yeeeaahh.
I don't think I've had one yet, and the only thing I can think of is that I created this instrumental song and had someone hear it, and they genuinely enjoyed it. It made me feel good that what I was doing wasn't pointless and made me happy that I created something that someone liked.
Other than that, nothing. I live a pretty boring life and not much happens, and makes me sad that I don't have many interesting stories to tell.
Other than that, nothing. I live a pretty boring life and not much happens, and makes me sad that I don't have many interesting stories to tell.