When a stupid question comes a knockin'...

[stormcaller]

If its a guy, I'd tell 'em that if he stares at copper long enough, it'll explode.

People seriously fall for that.

I've never heard the expression "copper" before unless your referring to a policeman or the metal?

 

[TwistedEllipses]

Reply 'if an idiot falls over with a crossbow bolt in the head in a forest and there's no one around, does he make a sound?'

 

[Atvomat_Nikonov]

Recently at my new school I have been bombarded by idiots who think they can confuse me by asking a stupid question like "How much wood, would a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood"[/b[

Sixteen, if a woodchuck could chuck wood he would chuck sixteen wood. This is how I respond to that question. On the times I've said to them sixteen, it has confused them and stopped their idiocy in it's tracks.

 

[Erana]

If its a guy, I'd tell 'em that if he stares at copper long enough, it'll explode.

People seriously fall for that.

I've never heard the expression "copper" before unless your referring to a policeman or the metal?

The metal, I'm sad to say...

 

[stormcaller]

If its a guy, I'd tell 'em that if he stares at copper long enough, it'll explode.

People seriously fall for that.

I've never heard the expression "copper" before unless your referring to a policeman or the metal?

The metal, I'm sad to say...

Ok then, new question I don't get why it has to be a guy if it's the metal.

 

[MaxFan]

Just ask them "Why is it called lunch?"
And if they say that they don't know, you can tell them that you were hoping they did because they are clearly out to it.

(see, you can learn useful things by watching cartoons)

 

[Erana]

If its a guy, I'd tell 'em that if he stares at copper long enough, it'll explode.

People seriously fall for that.

I've never heard the expression "copper" before unless your referring to a policeman or the metal?

The metal, I'm sad to say...

Ok then, new question I don't get why it has to be a guy if it's the metal.

Well, I was gonna say something else, and I guess I forgot to delete that part...

 

[kommando367]

depends, at least i'll just say "dude"
at the apex of idiocy, i'll look them right in the eye and say EAT SHIT AND DIE!, then run away.

 

[LewsTherin]

carebearstare.

 

[rubyblue]

Raise one eyebrow (if you can. If you can't, learn.), say, "Really?" in a bored tone, and walk away.

 

[Berethond]

[In a snobbish British accent]Well, due to the conflagration and combination of the woodchuck's jaw muscles and teeth, I would have to say that, if he were chucking a nice Birch. By the way, I love Birch, it has such a beautiful grain and texture. Anyways, if he were chucking a nice Birch, you would have to calculate the strength and width of the tree, as well as the age of the woodchuck in question.[/snobbish British accent]

Then there's the fact that WOODCHUCK ARE FLIPPING LIZARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's what I do.

 

[jdog345]

D-Bag-"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

Me-"Is it a European woodchuck or an African woodchuck?"

 

[CoziestPigeon]

Reply with swift kick aimed at gnads.

 

[Debatra]

D-Bag-"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

Me-"Is it a European woodchuck or an African woodchuck?"

If it's a European Woodchuck, then the wood will only receive a fleshwound.

If it's an African Woodchuck, then none, because the African Woodchuck is more suitable to chuck coconuts.

 

[Labyrinth]

I'm very good at making bullshit up on the spot, so I'd go with an essay-esque evaluation of the power of language in relevance to philosophical questions.

Main points:
-Rhyme makes something stick in the mind.
-Rhetorical
-Taking a step back from Plato's Cave wall
-Language imprints on perception

You can make that kind of thing last hours.

 

[bmf185]

Can you do the thing where it looks a lot like you are staring at said person of interest, but your eyes are out of focus? That generally geeks people out, and you don't even have to waste breath.

 

[Reaperman Wompa]

Reply to the wood chuck one with a long winded, but intelligent sounding reply.

To the tree in a forest "I'm not sure how to answer that, but I've got one of my own. Does an idiot beaten to death with a bat make a noise, or does my laughing block any noise made by yo- I mean the idiot"

Either sound more intelligent and make them sound retarded, or say fuck off.

To the question in the title "I knock back *grrr*".

 

[Dramatic Flare]

At work:
"Can I get any free food?"
"You're not female, and/or you're certainly not hot enough."
Keeps me amused. I just wish I could become manager so I could deal with idiots on my own.

Or just that the managers I have should start trusting me enough so that I can, you know, be believed would help.