I'm a bit lazy. I'm working on it, but it's a huge character flaw that will bite me in the ass if I don't get rid of it. Body wise, I'm happy enough.
When You Look In the Mirror...
- Thread starter Julianking93
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I tend to avoid looking myself directly in the eyes when near mirrors. (And that's pretty hard. Mother flodded our home with mirrors)
Either I see a person that should cease to exist, or my reflection looks at me with disgust. I have several reasons as to why it is like this, but I don't feel like any of those are the answer to the question I've been carrying the last couple of years. I'm depressed and I don't know why. And unfortunatly,I somehow blame myself for causing my misery. Thus the hateful eyes.
If there was no mirror between me and my reflection, we'd probably start a slapstorm.
Either I see a person that should cease to exist, or my reflection looks at me with disgust. I have several reasons as to why it is like this, but I don't feel like any of those are the answer to the question I've been carrying the last couple of years. I'm depressed and I don't know why. And unfortunatly,I somehow blame myself for causing my misery. Thus the hateful eyes.
If there was no mirror between me and my reflection, we'd probably start a slapstorm.
I repulse myself for the most part, physically and in every other way. But I try my best not to let it show and just transfer it into self deprication, cynacism and sarcasm because its quite annoying to me to listen to someone constantly droning on about how they hate themselves, whether they believe it or not.
Although there are a few times where I can get myself in the state where I don't care about how I look or how I am for maybe a day at a time, but I don't remember the last time truly felt comfortable with every aspect of who I am, I'm always finding something to berate myself about. Its gotten to the point where I don't even see myself, or even a face, in the mirror which just results in complete indifference, which somehow feels worse. Its the same with my personality, I can't even pin down individual traits anymore and the way I act around people seems to change from day to day, I only really feel a constant sense of self when I'm alone and even then I can't really identify any actual personality qualities.
Hooray for self-esteem.
Although I do like my weirdness, which is such a pretentious thing to say.
Although there are a few times where I can get myself in the state where I don't care about how I look or how I am for maybe a day at a time, but I don't remember the last time truly felt comfortable with every aspect of who I am, I'm always finding something to berate myself about. Its gotten to the point where I don't even see myself, or even a face, in the mirror which just results in complete indifference, which somehow feels worse. Its the same with my personality, I can't even pin down individual traits anymore and the way I act around people seems to change from day to day, I only really feel a constant sense of self when I'm alone and even then I can't really identify any actual personality qualities.
Hooray for self-esteem.
Although I do like my weirdness, which is such a pretentious thing to say.
Sometimes I feel my life is good. Having a girlfriend and friends nearby, Im not fat or in bad health, got some money stashed away and a great flatmate.
Othertimes I'm having a difficult time when I look at myself... Got a bunch of university courses I need to complete but I can't get arsed to the campus to finish them. I think it's because Im nearing my degree and I feel really sad about leaving this place and all the friends I have here. I need to work out and get in shape. I feel that life is pointless, and the things that keeps me going are books and very few TV-shows that all have epicish - epic stories and I want to know how it ends.
Othertimes I'm having a difficult time when I look at myself... Got a bunch of university courses I need to complete but I can't get arsed to the campus to finish them. I think it's because Im nearing my degree and I feel really sad about leaving this place and all the friends I have here. I need to work out and get in shape. I feel that life is pointless, and the things that keeps me going are books and very few TV-shows that all have epicish - epic stories and I want to know how it ends.
It changes based on how much alcohol I've consumed. It's like self beer goggles and it's awesome.
I'm hot!
I'm hot!
I always see room for improvement, I always see something else I could do better or could have done better in my life or with myself, not in a depressing way, more in a hopeful, contemplative way. But overall, I'm content with myself, maybe not my life, but I am okay with myself.
I have crap hair and im shy.
Cant shave my head because then i look mentally ill AS WELL as ugly.
Really uncomfortable around people. So much so that i sometimes sweat, cant look people in the eye ever (like an autistic kid or something)and have panic attacks and heart palpitations when i think too much about it.
Its taking years to reverse this damaged image. But at least it keeps me busy and it is better than not knowing whats wrong.
Cant shave my head because then i look mentally ill AS WELL as ugly.
Really uncomfortable around people. So much so that i sometimes sweat, cant look people in the eye ever (like an autistic kid or something)and have panic attacks and heart palpitations when i think too much about it.
Its taking years to reverse this damaged image. But at least it keeps me busy and it is better than not knowing whats wrong.
Every time I look in the mirror, I can't help but notice how tired I look.
I see the optimism and cheer that once was, and I see with world-weariness that now is.
I see the optimism and cheer that once was, and I see with world-weariness that now is.
I see a pretty handsome guy who's very tall and very blonde. I didn't use to see that though. I also see that he has confidence issues. And that he doesn't smile as much as he should.
Well physically I don't think I'm very attractive at all. From a psychological standpoint I despise myself with a passion. I really don't like looking in the mirror at all...I avoid it as much as I can.
#You look just how you're meant toJulianking93 said:
Who's telling you you're beautiful...#
*awkward silence*
Anyway I used to have no self esteem but have recently learned to just not give a fuck and have fun and fuck whatever people think of me, and if something pisses me off I just go on my xbox or something and I'm calm and happy and everything's sunshine and rainbows.
I see myself as a guy who is meant for protecting and helping those in need, but is distracted by simple things and is selfish for thinking of himself over others when he should prepare for what he will need to do. I feel like I hate myself for not being better, but I see myself as a much better person than most. I have thoughts of grandeur, I feel this might be from my extensive amount of playing games in which in most I am a hero of some sort...I can almost not stand myself, I just see a pathetic person that will be alone and fail at what needs to be done.
I love myself. I'm an excellent person and friend. I like the choices I make and have made, and there is only one thing I can truly say I regret doing in my life (a private matter).
I am bipolar about the world though, one moment I hate it the other I love it. But I mostly hate it. The world is a dark and ridiculous place to me and if I didnt have humor I'd probably sit around crying every day. Fortunately I have humor so I can laugh of the mess that is the world. Most of the time.
I am bipolar about the world though, one moment I hate it the other I love it. But I mostly hate it. The world is a dark and ridiculous place to me and if I didnt have humor I'd probably sit around crying every day. Fortunately I have humor so I can laugh of the mess that is the world. Most of the time.
... I see a guy who can't keep it together for much longer, I'm in a mental breakdown mode as of right now. I don't get out much as they say.
Agreed.SugarMama said:
So long as I feel fulfilled, I don't give a shit what my reflection looks like.
My mind goes back and forth on that all the time. One day I will feal happy and proud to be myself. Other times I see ways I can improve but I never end up changing anything and the next day I will hate myself and try to force myself to be better.
I see a mask, what I wear so that the rest of society feels comfortable around me. I know who I am and what I want, however I cannot go about this while I am still in need of other people's power to keep my life at my level of content.
I am generally annoyed/bored with people/life, but I cannot let them know that.
I am better at breaking then making, I see ways to exploit the law/people (again a negitive in the eyes of society)
I dislike people but want human contact.
I AM THE HUMAN CONTRADICTION!
-2fish
I am generally annoyed/bored with people/life, but I cannot let them know that.
I am better at breaking then making, I see ways to exploit the law/people (again a negitive in the eyes of society)
I dislike people but want human contact.
I AM THE HUMAN CONTRADICTION!
-2fish