Where do babies come from?

[Endocrom]

Pop quiz hot shot: your son, daughter, niece or nephiew just asked you point blank and their mom, dad or your spouse isn't there to take over. What do you do?

 

[Skorpyo]

Now where have I stashed my porn file today?

 

[ZeroMachine]

How old are they?

 

[Rabid Chipmunk]

I'd just whip out the tried and true "Ask your mother when she comes home."
That, or "I'll tell you when you're older."

 

[zehydra]

"I dunno, why don't you ask your Mom?"

Depending on how old they are, that may work. For like, 10 year olds +, it probably won't.

 

[CM156_v1legacy]

I tell them a Wizard does it

Spoiler

In truth? I don't know. It's not really my place to tell them, really, if they aren't my child.

 

[Kreal92]

My parents never hid porn from me, so I basically grew up knowing the truth. By "not hiding" I mean they weren't in denial of it's existence, just never allowed me to watch it, and kept a belt as a guard in case I ever got curious. If I repeat the same with my kids, I'll be honest. If i don't, I'll bring out the old faithful Stork.

 

[OrenjiJusu]

I tell them that Most children come from the sky. They however were born from plants.

 

[Kodachi]

Tell them the truth. No child was ever scarred for life by learning the truth in a frank and open dialogue.

 

[BrassButtons]

First I'd ask what they think, to find out how much they already know. Then I'd tell them the truth, tailoring the amount of detail depending on the kid (like, if the kid is just looking for a quick response I might say something like "babies come from mommies" or something, and let the kid decide if they want more information or if they'd rather go play tag).

 

[Mikeyfell]

"Vaginas."

Alternately
I'd queue up the sex scene form Mass Effect and say "Pretty much like that."

Alternately alternately

"Broken condoms."

Spoiler: if any of my humor was in poor taste enjoy this wholesome web comic

 

[Atticus89]

I'd ask what they thought and go from there.

I have some young cousins who were at a barn and saw the chicks in the pen with the roosters and none in the pen without roosters. They asked and basically figured out that the roosters give something to the hens and the hens make the babies, all this done without the use of medical terminology or knowing the details in depth (they were 6 and 4, by the way). Don't underestimate kids because they're pretty smart.

 

[Endocrom]

A lot of these are better than my plan, COMPLETE DENIAL!

I don't know, nobody knows, LOOK! there's a squirrel with a gun! Let's go get you some ice cream!

 

[Riddle78]

I say "When a man and a woman want a baby,they make one by combining their genetic material,and wait about nine months"

It's accurate enough. And,it won't scar their minds. When they ask for me to elaborate,I'll say "Ask again when you're sixteen"