My constant need to be right, even if I know I am wrong I will argue until the other person will aknowledge me being correct.
Where does your self-esteem come from?
- Thread starter AwkwardTurtle
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I used to have okay self esteem because someone would compliment me on a daily basis even though I'd never believe them. I don't think I'm intelligent at all, I think I'm a lot stupider than most people actually. I get quite a lot of people criticising me too, if not at work then when I get home which doesn't help.
I'm a lot uglier than most girls too but that never used to bother me. Now, however I keep hearing a fair few people say I'm too fat or my bum is too big or my hairs a mess so my confidence has hit rock bottom at the minute.
I don't look down on people, because I'm probably a lot lower than they are anyway. [sub]Apart from people on Jeremy Kyle D:[/sub]
I'm a lot uglier than most girls too but that never used to bother me. Now, however I keep hearing a fair few people say I'm too fat or my bum is too big or my hairs a mess so my confidence has hit rock bottom at the minute.
I don't look down on people, because I'm probably a lot lower than they are anyway. [sub]Apart from people on Jeremy Kyle D:[/sub]
Which is why that is the best show in the world to watch when you're having a bad day. Sure, you had a bad day but it could always be worse.EeveeElectro said:
Technically, if your success rate is higher than your failure rate, it's possible to have high self-esteem without looking down on anyone.AwkwardTurtle said:
Well, if X makes you happy, you can say that it's good for you. There doesn't need to be a Y.AwkwardTurtle said:
Well, yeah, that's kind of true. Most people don't want to be different because then, they can be noticed. The easier it is to notice you, the more likely it is that someone will hate on you. People don't want to be hated. If there's nothing about you that sticks out, you won't be hated. To avoid being hated, it's best to be bland and generic. Blandness is forgettable. People won't hate on blandness because they won't even remember it.AwkwardTurtle said:
It used to come from the fact that I was the only man in a friendship-group of girls when I was a teenager, so everyone naturally thought they might fancy me at some point or another because of hormones and shizz: so I felt like the king of the pride.
Then, years later, I realised I actually have the face of a man who had his skull shaped by rock-hammers and impatience but - you know what? - after years of having friends who regularly greet me every morning with "good morning, you ****" I'm safe in the knowledge that I am immune to insults.
Then, years later, I realised I actually have the face of a man who had his skull shaped by rock-hammers and impatience but - you know what? - after years of having friends who regularly greet me every morning with "good morning, you ****" I'm safe in the knowledge that I am immune to insults.
Any self-esteem I momentarily have gets whisked away every time I am unable to reach my impossibly high standards for myself.
I beat your little puzzle easily, I judge my own actions against my own previous actions. I don't look down on anyone except my past-self. As a general rule of thumb, I suck at everything with rare exception, so I've learned how to build self-esteem when at the bottom.
I agree with both of these points.feeback06 said:
Your prof's story and argument seems to make sense, but does not account for everyone. I know (especially in the gaming scene) that people feel better when they can look down on others and say that they are better than them. What your teacher does not account for, is what is above himself, what kinds of idols he has. Everyone I know (I would say "everyone ever" but I am not 100% sure on this) has people they look up to because they think these people are better than themselves, or that these people exemplify a certain characteristic that they find desirable.
For me, I idolize a lot of people. I think MillStephano and IdrA are both really fucking cool because they are at the forefront of super badass zerg gaming, and they are serious competitors in competitive Starcraft. They are both non-Korean, which is a big deal for Starcraft.
I idolize a great many of actors, anime characters, comedians, etc.
Overall, I idolize these people that I think are "better" than me in some way. I try to be the best that I can be (in school, in games, etc.) but I have never been the VERY best, there has always been someone above me. Frankly, it frightens me to be #1. I try to be #1 at all times, but if I was #1, what would I have to strive for? Maintaining my #1 status?
I get my self esteem (when I have it) from knowing that people count on me and from being having that urge to climb the ladder. Yes, I get a bit of self esteem from looking down on others, but I get more by looking UP at people and saying "I'll be there some day". Whether it is getting a higher k/d in MW3 or kicking ass at Starcraft 2. Looking down the ladder is only satisfying when you can say to yourself "wow, I've come a long ways from where I used to be"
Self esteem should be gained through morality and self education.
Try to imagine that the multiple reality theory is correct, for every option you are given the outcome is played out by another version of yourself.
Striving to be the best possible you, the one who takes the opportunities presented to you, the one who helps out others when given the chance, the one who defends those who cannot defend themselves. This is the route to self esteem, knowing that in any given situation you couldn't have worked harder or been better, that is all you can really strive for, not to be something you aren't, but to be the best you possible.
That is what self esteem means to me, also to be happy with who you are, accepting what you may perceive to be your negatives and constantly pushing the boundaries of your positives.
Side Question:
the whole different = wrong argument comes from evolution, being able to differentiate between those who share a large amount of your genes and those who don't made you better able to protect shared genes, hence those genes increased in the gene-pool. However it is something that education can overcome, which is why we are such successful creatures, our brains! We can reprogram default settings and make ourselves better than our previous generations.
Try to imagine that the multiple reality theory is correct, for every option you are given the outcome is played out by another version of yourself.
Striving to be the best possible you, the one who takes the opportunities presented to you, the one who helps out others when given the chance, the one who defends those who cannot defend themselves. This is the route to self esteem, knowing that in any given situation you couldn't have worked harder or been better, that is all you can really strive for, not to be something you aren't, but to be the best you possible.
That is what self esteem means to me, also to be happy with who you are, accepting what you may perceive to be your negatives and constantly pushing the boundaries of your positives.
Side Question:
the whole different = wrong argument comes from evolution, being able to differentiate between those who share a large amount of your genes and those who don't made you better able to protect shared genes, hence those genes increased in the gene-pool. However it is something that education can overcome, which is why we are such successful creatures, our brains! We can reprogram default settings and make ourselves better than our previous generations.
.AwkwardTurtle said:
You're right. Your professor's argument makes for a very good argument and I fully agree with it. I have little of value to add to this first idea so I will address the second one.
Yes, it's also correct. I can say that whenever a child grows up and becomes a teen, he usually wants to rebel against his parents and the establishment and to try and assert him position as independent. But he isn't. If he breaks away from the norm he will always be a member of a splinter group. There are only a handful of truly creative people that were at the tip of the spear when they broke away from the main stream.
You always want people to like you, and for people to like you inherently there should be some likeness between you ,some familiarity.
This was a very nice topic to discuss. Have a nice day.
That theory does have some merit. In high school, I always thought I was morally and intellectually superior to everyone. I'm not so up myself now, but it did come in handy. Several of my classmates got suspended from school for bullying me, but I never felt bullied. I felt so far above my classmates that I thought that nothing they said, including their insults, meant a thing. So I couldn't feel offended.