Where would you hide a dead body?

[ChanTheNoob]

No particular interest for why I'm asking this, I just wanted to explore the imaginations of my fellow Escapists, and for you potential murderers, where would you hide a dead boy?

I was playing around with Siri today, and asked it some of the joke questions, such as "Where can I hide a dead body", when it would then reply with a number of locations, which was what inspired me to create this thread. Personally, I would just throw the body through a manhole, and leave it there, just because no ordinary members of public would find it there. So, everybody, where would you hide a dead body.

PS: Don't hold back, no one will judge you here

 

[I Stomp on Kittens]

I would tell you but that locations current residents may be found.

 

[Keoul]

Place in a barrel, fill with concrete, dump in the ocean.
With a lid on it no one would even suspect a thing, and anyone curious enough would require a goddamn crane to lift it off the bottom of the sea and I doubt people have that much time on their hands. I could buy a boat and pretend it's full of chum or something then dump it in international waters.

As for your manhole plan, the body would clog the sewers, thus calling for swift intervention by your local government health squad, the body will be found and an investigation will commence.

 

[Antari]

If you HIDE the body someone can find it. Which means you've pretty much garenteed you'll get caught at some point.

 

[I Stomp on Kittens]

As for your manhole plan, the body would clog the sewers, thus calling for swift intervention by your local government health squad, the body will be found and an investigation will commence.

If that were the case how much evidence could they actually get from that body? I'm no sewer expert but wouldn't it be covered in everybody's stuff? You might be fine unless they had some reason to suspect you or you have some tie to the person. Right?

 

[Esotera]

With my current resources I would probably dismember it into very small parts, cover it all in lime, then bury it very deep in a very isolated spot in the woods.

The best solution I've seen is in Breaking Bad though, dissolving a corpse in Hydrofluorate. It gets rid of all potential contamination and makes DNA & other forensic analysis practically impossible. But where the hell does the average Joe get a barrel of concentrated industrial-grade acid?

 

[Hoplon]

Hide it?

What the fuck do you think thermite is for?

 

[noxymoron19]

I'd just let me profile picture dispose of the body. He's into that stuff.

 

[SckizoBoy]

In a grave... where better a place to hide a dead body... than a place that would hold a dead body?

*shrug* *hefts shovel* *saunters away*

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

Put it into a sleeping bag. Cling film that. Seal that in masking tape. In the dead of night staple/nail/tape onto the underside corner of a small bridge with no real path underneath. No one ever looks UP for a body.

 

[AnarchistFish]

Would rather destroy it somehow. Breaking Bad style

 

[Lt._nefarious]

The question is; where would I hide a second body? I'd probably turn it into mulch and feed it to the fishes. "No officer, just some chum... Why yes, for my pet shark... His name is Senor British The Mighty... Yes."

 

[Scarim Coral]

Right, as if I will tell you where I would hide it. It would be quite a coincidence if someone did find a body after I type the exact place/ area where I would hide it.

 

[Heronblade]

I wouldn't

If I end up in the unbelievable unlikely scenario where I actually need to conceal a murder, my best option is to make sure there's nothing to be found, not just making it difficult to find.

Woodchipper + lake'o'fish is a convenient if gruesome method.

Better still, but far more difficult to successfully pull off, would be allowing the body to be found, but faking the cause of death.

blunt force trauma? Drop it off a tall rocky cliff

gunshot wound? stripped of valuables in an alley near gang territory

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

I live in the desert so I'm totally covered on that.

Just take the body, wrap it in plastic, and take a trip up to Vegas and just bury it somewhere deep off the beaten path.

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

In the words of Chopper Reed "Australia is big and shovels are cheap."

 

[Calibanbutcher]

Give me 24 hours and the supplies I need and I can take care of that pesky "body"-problem.
I mean, erhm, why would I ever need to hide a body? I haven't seen no dead bodies nowhere around here...

But if I HAD to hide a body, I would try the local morque.
No-one expects a dead body to be hidden there, they will just write it off as a bureaucratic blunder and get on with cremating it or whatnot.

 

[GonvilleBromhead]

Yep, in a graveyard. Find a newly dug grave, continue digging, insert stiff, cover stiff, leaving big hole for the bloke who is meant to go in...

 

[Shock and Awe]

Bottom of the ocean about 50 miles out. So simple yet so perfect.

 

[craftomega]

There are 2 simple ways of disposing of a body that anyone can do.

First of all, remote location, there are plenty of area's that vertialy no one goes. If no one can find the body it is disposed of.

Second, buy a few gallons of bleach, and drench the body in it for a few hours. After wards stab several holes in the body and dump it in a river.

Assuming you have no motive then good luck finding out what happened.