While not hard to let go, this process is BS

[Itdoesthatsometimes]

I need more opinions. I was recently seeing a woman. She seems to be content to let things fade away. I want resolution. I want to tell her about how much she meant to me. She, despite having no real concept of relationships nor friendship, has been one of the best things I have experienced. Resolution, involves kind words and adoration. A kind of, I see the admirable woman that is behind the bullshit that you cling to. However, fade away, holds nothing but petty words, if any words.

I could let it all go. Except, I would love for her to know that I know she is amazing. And that I can understand the reasons it is over. However the way she elects to end it is far less than either of us deserve.

Advice?

 

[Lilani]

I could let it all go. Except, I would love for her to know that I know she is amazing. And that I can understand the reasons it is over. However the way she elects to end it is far less than either of us deserve.

Advice?

This end bit I find a bit troubling, especially the part I bolded. I hope you haven't convinced yourself that what you want for resolution is best for the both of you. It's one thing to believe that you deserve a better resolution, however it's another thing entirely to take it upon yourself to insist that you know what's best for her as well. While you are very vague, from what I can gather it seems she's made her decision regarding how it ended and she's fine with that. You have no authority to question that decision. Whatever you choose, don't for a moment convince yourself this is for her. She knows what's best for her, she's decided. Whatever you do now is all for yourself, not for her.

 

[Abomination]

I need more opinions. I was recently seeing a woman. She seems to be content to let things fade away. I want resolution. I want to tell her about how much she meant to me. She, despite having no real concept of relationships nor friendship, has been one of the best things I have experienced. Resolution, involves kind words and adoration. A kind of, I see the admirable woman that is behind the bullshit that you cling to. However, fade away, holds nothing but petty words, if any words.

I could let it all go. Except, I would love for her to know that I know she is amazing. And that I can understand the reasons it is over. However the way she elects to end it is far less than either of us deserve.

Advice?

Find another girl.

No, really. You're clearly lovestruck and seem to think this girl owes you a happy breakup. The best thing that can happen to you is have breakups where you don't get what you want, so you can realize in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter one bit.

Yeah it sucks, yeah you want closure, but the best closure you'll ever get is knowing you won't always get closure.

 

[Itdoesthatsometimes]

Basically, I will be justified when I run into her and search so hard to not say "Go fuck yourself!" even if it does slip out?

 

[NoeL]

Wow, this sounds ridiculously similar to something I went through just a few weeks ago. I wanted a resolution, she was content to keep ignoring me. When she'd finally had enough of my persistence she came out and gave me a straight answer, which essentially boiled down to "I don't care about you, I never did, now leave me alone". She thought silence would be less offensive, but the quick brutal stab was way better. I was beating myself up for pushing her away, but turns out she never planned to stick around in the first place. Made it much easier to move on, though despite that I still think she's the most amazing woman I've ever met.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Some people just don't like giving reasons. Maybe she feels uncomfortable, maybe she's scared. Whatever the reason, it sounds like she's trying to get out quickly and leave you hanging.
If it were me, I'd ask for a reason just for the peace of mind, then put it behind me. If you see her again, instead of looking like a 14 year old and screaming "Go fuck yourself!" just ignore her. Show her that you can move on.

You're probably just a bit love struck and it's hard to see peoples flaws when you are. It's going to sound like generic, crap advice but the best healer is time. Distance yourself from her, start looking around when you feel comfortable again.

It took me a while to get over my ex because I still loved him. When I came to my senses and realised how cruel and sadistic he was being, it sped up the healing process. The only good traits I could think of boiled down to "really attractive" and "good in bed." when I started thinking of the negative traits, oh boy was it easy to move on from him.
Think about all the bad she has done. You don't deserve this pain and sometimes it just doesn't work out how you want.

You might think like you'll never find someone like her again, but you will. She'll probably be even better and you'll look back and think "lololololol I was a fool!"

You've got to let yourself get burned by the fire to know not to stick your hand in it again.

 

[Itdoesthatsometimes]

Thanks for the opinions. They have each helped in their own way.

 

[Angie7F]

I hope you are able to move on.
I find that relationships that did not have a proper ending tend to be the ones that persist in your head for longer.

 

[ElTigreSantiago]

Wow, this sounds ridiculously similar to something I went through just a few weeks ago. I wanted a resolution, she was content to keep ignoring me. When she'd finally had enough of my persistence she came out and gave me a straight answer, which essentially boiled down to "I don't care about you, I never did, now leave me alone". She thought silence would be less offensive, but the quick brutal stab was way better. I was beating myself up for pushing her away, but turns out she never planned to stick around in the first place. Made it much easier to move on, though despite that I still think she's the most amazing woman I've ever met.

This kind of hit the nail on the head for me. In every breakup I've been in, and many that I've talked to friends about, the girl really tries to beat around the bush with the reason why. It seems to be an attempt to make it easier on you, but if you badger them they might get pissy and say something hurtful.

OP, regardless of the specifics and the situation, if she's breaking up with you, it means she doesn't want to be with you anymore. She would look past everything else if she cared enough. We've all been there.

In time, all will be well and you'll find a new girl that will make you scoff at your other relationships.