Who can admit to being a bad employee?

[Raven's Nest]

As per the thread topic who will openly admit to being a bad employee?

If so, please state some of your finest mishaps...

I, like a great many people in the world have to work a crap job which they hate. This, combined with a lack of desire to change jobs due to mine being so easy, had led me to become bored and un-stimulated within my workplace. The only remedy for which is for me to challenge myself into getting fired as I'm just too comfortable to quit.

My most desperate attempt has to be not only being a full five hours late to work, but then showing up without the correct uniform. Taking a half an hour toilet visit as soon as I started. As for the cherry upon my anarchistic cake, I put in the most un-productive three hours of my working life.

Was I fired? No

Disciplined? No

Beaten to a blind and bloody pulp? No

My boss simply turns around and ask me to go and get him AND myself a Burger King.

Since I no longer believe it possible to be fired, I now turn to the aptly named Escapist's for some fresh ideas...

 

[Evilbunny]

I find a good way to be unproductive at work is to carry around papers all the time, so if somebody asks you to do something, you can pretend you gotta run something down to some guy. Also, one time I printed out the entire catcher in the rye and read it during meetings. Really made meetings go faster. Also, if you have one of those cup warmers in your office, go get some hot coffee and put it in. People will come in and see your steaming cup of coffee and think, "well his coffee's there and it's still hot. He must have just left." when really you've been gone for two hours already. I think I know too much about this.

 

[Flying-Emu]

I am. I'm a lazy S.O.B. and I don't take to authority well, especially when they tell me I'm wrong when I know they are.

But whatever pays the bills, I suppose.

 

[zen5887]

I'm pretty shocking. I work on a computer putting forms into the network so I get bored and end up on the escapist and/or msn. I get distracted and before I know it there is a massive pile of forms for me to put in and only an hour left.

Having said that I'm also pretty good at my job.

 

[Cgee]

I work in retail and occasionally i'll get some very seemingly rude customer asking me where something is and i'll just tell them it's at the opposite corner of the store, the furthest possible spot from my department just to get rid of them...

...that's all i've got actually but I do it a lot, lol.

 

[Jeronus]

As per the thread topic who will openly admit to being a bad employee?

If so, please state some of your finest mishaps...

I, like a great many people in the world have to work a crap job which they hate. This, combined with a lack of desire to change jobs due to mine being so easy, had led me to become bored and un-stimulated within my workplace. The only remedy for which is for me to challenge myself into getting fired as I'm just too comfortable to quit.

My most desperate attempt has to be not only being a full five hours late to work, but then showing up without the correct uniform. Taking a half an hour toilet visit as soon as I started. As for the cherry upon my anarchistic cake, I put in the most un-productive three hours of my working life.

Was I fired? No

Disciplined? No

Beaten to a blind and bloody pulp? No

My boss simply turns around and ask me to go and get him AND myself a Burger King.

Since I no longer believe it possible to be fired, I now turn to the aptly named Escapist's for some fresh ideas...

The guy before you must have been the worst employee ever because your boss seems to think you're an competent employee. I understand being too comfortable to quit all too well. I am a cashier and I cost the store so much money I am surprised they haven't fired me. First of all, my till has come up a hundred dollars short on more than once and yet I am still employed. Despite the fact that others have been fired for the same offense without getting a second chance. Secondly, I let customers get away with crap like stealing just because it would be too much of a hassle to confront them about it. Next, I am sometimes rude to customer just because they make me work when I am trying to do absolutely nothing. Lastly, I give myself and other employees stuff for free when I check them out. I don't think my poor work ethic has gone unnoticed because I have been skipped over for promotions several times ,but I doubt I would accept it anyway because it would mean the same pay with more supervision.

 

[Shadow Law]

I find a good way to be unproductive at work is to carry around papers all the time, so if somebody asks you to do something, you can pretend you gotta run something down to some guy. Also, one time I printed out the entire catcher in the rye and read it during meetings. Really made meetings go faster. Also, if you have one of those cup warmers in your office, go get some hot coffee and put it in. People will come in and see your steaming cup of coffee and think, "well his coffee's there and it's still hot. He must have just left." when really you've been gone for two hours already. I think I know too much about this.

You are a office genius my friend. Anyway when I'm in the back storage room i usually just text on my phone for about an hour, sad=yes, productive=no

 

[floppylobster]

I'm actually a very good employee. But that didn't stop me getting fired today.

 

[ThaBenMan]

I used to be pretty bad - I sometimes used to work in this closed-off area where leather coats were kept in a clothing store, and I would just sit and read when nobody was in there when I should have been cleaning or something. And a lot of the time if I wasn't in there I would just stand around and talk with other employees.

I've since developed a pretty good work ethic and take my job more seriously, although with my last job I was busy all the time and was not really afforded any opportunities to slack off.

 

[ThaBenMan]

I'm actually a very good employee. But that didn't stop me getting fired today.

Ouch, that sucks. Were you actually fired or just laid off?

 

[T-Blade]

I don't think I would be a bad employee, when it comes to earning money, I put in all of my effort.
But when it comes to working for something of which I have interest in, I just get bored and do nothing.

 

[Gavmando]

Through my lazyness I once cost my company $140,000.

 

[Stryc9]

I used to work at a place that recycled timber 'cleaning' the wood meaning pulling the nails out and stuff. My friend and I that worked there got up to some stuff that could be considered being bad employees.

I used to try to turn our smallest forklift over by getting up as fast as it would go then turning it really sharp, almost made it once.

We all used to flip the boss shit, before I started there my friend had the secretary tell the boss that they has started a tire fire in main part of the yard and he almost bought to the point where he panicked for a few minuets.

My second day there I set my arm on fire trying to restart our fire barrel where we burned small bits of scrap for heat by pouring gasoline on the hot coals even though I was convinced the fire was out. I managed to get myself put out literally seconds before the boss came walking into the yard.

We used to ride on the forks of the forklifts to reach stuff at the tops of the stacks and other unsafe practices that would have gotten us all kinds of fines from Labor and Industries, the boss knew but didn't really seem to care.

I never got to feel comfortable at that job, it slowed down after I'd been there about four months and the other guy they hired after me and I got laid off.

 

[Souplex]

Sugar in your bosses gas tank is a good way to get fired.

I however enjoy being a model employee at all of my jobs. *I have like 80, I don't bother keeping track anymore.*

 

[Yog Sothoth]

Through my lazyness I once cost my company $140,000.

Wow, that's pretty bad, I can't beat that. But the film Clerks was almost a religion to me, and I'm an bona-fide generation-Xer, so slack is in my blood.

I worked as a ride operator at an amusement park.... and rode the rides with the kiddies!

When I worked as a bag-boy at a grocery store, I used to sneak off and steal doughnuts...

I worked as a telemarketer a few times, but only pretended to be talking on the phone at least 60% of the time....

The retail chain Target was foolish enough give me my own office and no direct supervisor... I slept a lot and built Lego models until they installed a camera....

But ever since I've "grown up" I take my jobs a lot more seriously...... most of the time......