Why am i such a coward?

[sulld1]

The age old question "would you help someone in need?" Now this is a obvious, the answer is always yes you would, but have you ever been in a situation when you could help and you did not? I shall tell you my story.

On my way back to my university residence i am walking through a town square and a taxi is driving through it about 20-25 metres away, as it drives along the door opens and a middle age woman falls out and her head impacts the cobbled stone beneath, at this point she is obviously knocked out cold with possible/probably head injuries, her friends or family rush out of the cab to help her.
At this point i am the only other soul in the square but do i rush to her aid or do i call the ambulance service to aid this woman in need. The answer is no, no i don't i put my head down and keep walking... WHAT?

I turn to you escapists not to help me or to justify my actions but I turn to you to ask "what would you do if someone was in need?" Am i the only one who is a complete and utter coward?

Finally i would like to say i hope with my whole heart the woman is okay and that she makes a full recovery...

 

[spartan1077]

Meh, if I wanted to I would but I won't really go out of my way for it. I might stand back and watch what happens though. Always good to study humans and their reactions. If it was a family member I still might just fade into nothing...if just a co-worker or a friend I wouldn't help.

 

[Thaluikhain]

That's a normal reaction. In situations like that, lots of people wait to see if anyone else is going to do anything, and if someone else does, leaves them to it in the hope they know what they are doing.

I've been in a similar ish situation, though in my case there were hordes of people around and some of them knew what to do and did it straight away. Very uncomfortable moment of wondering if I should do something, though. Noticeably, though, one of the people that chose to act didn't know what to do and did the wrong thing, had to be repeatedly told to stop.

 

[sulld1]

Meh, if I wanted to I would but I won't really go out of my way for it. I might stand back and watch what happens though. Always good to study humans and their reactions. If it was a family member I still might just fade into nothing...if just a co-worker or a friend I wouldn't help.

You would do that and it wouldn't bother you? or would you just freeze and not be able to do anything?

I personally would like to help anyone, but when it was time to step up to the plate i froze and did the complete opposite...

 

[MrAkuma201]

No your not she had help. most other people will do the same thing you need too be a saint too give more help which is not needed. If it was fear then I don't know if you it was only you there you will over come the fear and help.

 

[emeraldrafael]

Its not that youre a coward. at least.. not with that. Its not like everyone jumped in front of the cab as it sped down the hill.

I dontk now. Its easy for people to say they'll do something until they're i the situation. If no one else is moving or doing anything, I'll jump in. Or if its only like one person, and you need more then one. But in that case, I probably would have left. contraty to popular belief, yous houldnt have everyone call 911 or else you'll tie up the line and end up delaying help more.

 

[SamuelT]

It's a pretty dickish thing to do, yeah. But without the proper expertise you could do more wrong than harm. If you had tried to rush to her aid, and drag her off the street for example, you could've given her worse injury than just a mild concussion. It was easier to move on because you had no idea what happened, could happen and she had people with her.

Not per se a cowards move. Just an easy one.

Whenever I find myself in the place to help someone I find myself freezing up in the possibilitiesof 'where can this go wrong.' If someone's being bullied, and I say something, they'd come after me. Or even others would join. When I've thought everything over, the situation is over.

 

[spartan1077]

You would do that and it wouldn't bother you? or would you just freeze and not be able to do anything?

I personally would like to help anyone, but when it was time to step up to the plate i froze and did the complete opposite...

Wouldn't bother me. It'd be a good chance to see how others react in the situation. And if I'm the only one there, I can see how someone reacts while in pain or while unconscious. It'd be a good learning experience, to say the least.

 

[JoJo]

Unfortunately I've heard that reactions such as yours are common, so you aren't alone. I'd say it's more due to awkwardness than cowardice, I'm sure we've all had moments where we look back and wish we had done something different. As for what I would do? In this case I probably would try to help, or at-least call an ambulance on my mobile, but if there was someone being attacked by someone-else I doubt I'd get involved, I don't really have an agressive personality and I don't like confrontation. Unless it was someone attacking a small child though as that always makes me mad (I got very close to hitting someone after they almost knocked down my little sister by cycling along a crowded pier, they were lucky they chickened out and cycled off before I could get close enough).

 

[DefunctTheory]

Not so much cowardly as... sad.

But, don;t feel too bad. There are hundreds of instances of women getting STABBED dozens of times IN PUBLIC while SCREAMING for HELP... and it never comes.

Spoiler: Disturbing Description of violence

I just watched a video of a man stabbing a woman 70 some times with a pocket knife, while two men VIDEO TAPE it. For almost a minute, only two people tried to help her, in an attempt that can only be described as 'pathetic.' For almost 30 seconds the kicked him like he was a hakey sack, instead of doing the obvious thing and grabbing his fucking knife hand. Finally, someone grabbed the guy by his hoody and dragged him off (After 3 attempts), and a guy with a pipe generally just stood around the whole time. I guess he got the pipe to protect himself.

Overall, people who act as you do make me sad. People like those in my spoiler... they're the REAL cowards.

EDIT: Word was too harsh.

 

[sulld1]

It's a pretty dickish thing to do, yeah. But without the proper expertise you could do more wrong than harm. If you had tried to rush to her aid, and drag her off the street for example, you could've given her worse injury than just a mild concussion. It was easier to move on because you had no idea what happened, could happen and she had people with her.

Not per se a cowards move. Just an easy one.

Whenever I find myself in the place to help someone I find myself freezing up in the possibilitiesof 'where can this go wrong.' If someone's being bullied, and I say something, they'd come after me. Or even others would join. When I've thought everything over, the situation is over.

Yer i suppose i could have done more harm than good, but that was not the reason i moved on, i just didn't want to be a part of it, like i had no reason to help. I guess that's the issue i have with it...

 

[JUMBO PALACE]

I'm not quite sure what I would have done, but it wouldn't be put my head down and walk away. I would have at least asked the other people with her if there was anything I could do.

 

[sulld1]

Not so much cowardly as... despicable.

But, don;t feel too bad. There are hundreds of instances of women getting STABBED dozens of times IN PUBLIC while SCREAMING for HELP... and it never comes.

Spoiler: Disturbing Description of violence

I just watched a video of a man stabbing a woman 70 some times with a pocket knife, while two men VIDEO TAPE it. For almost a minute, only two people tried to help her, in an attempt that can onyl be described as 'pathetic.' For almost 30 seconds the kicked him like he was a hakey sack, instead of doing the obvious thing and grabbing his fucking knife hand. Finally, someone grabbed the guy buy his hoody and dragged him off (After 3 attempts), and a guy with a pipe generally just stood around the whole time. I guess he got the pipe to protect himself.

Overall, people who act as you do make me sad. People like those in my spoiler... they're the REAL cowards.

Hmmm that is terrible really terrible, I hope to god that i would step in to help someone in dire need like the woman you mentioned, but then again if you were in my shoes are you sure you would have stepped in to do something? before this incident i would have argued that i would go to the aid of anyone, but now i'm not so sure. Well in fact i have been proved quite the opposite.

 

[SamuelT]

Yer i suppose i could have done more harm than good, but that was not the reason i moved on, i just didn't want to be a part of it, like i had no reason to help. I guess that's the issue i have with it...

Heh. Yeah, I figured. But you asked the forum for a way to rationalise it away, eh?;D

I kinda get the issue you're having. It's easier not to get involved.

 

[DefunctTheory]

Not so much cowardly as... despicable.

But, don;t feel too bad. There are hundreds of instances of women getting STABBED dozens of times IN PUBLIC while SCREAMING for HELP... and it never comes.

Spoiler: Disturbing Description of violence

I just watched a video of a man stabbing a woman 70 some times with a pocket knife, while two men VIDEO TAPE it. For almost a minute, only two people tried to help her, in an attempt that can onyl be described as 'pathetic.' For almost 30 seconds the kicked him like he was a hakey sack, instead of doing the obvious thing and grabbing his fucking knife hand. Finally, someone grabbed the guy buy his hoody and dragged him off (After 3 attempts), and a guy with a pipe generally just stood around the whole time. I guess he got the pipe to protect himself.

Overall, people who act as you do make me sad. People like those in my spoiler... they're the REAL cowards.

Hmmm that is terrible really terrible, I hope to god that i would step in to help someone in dire need like the woman you mentioned, but then again if you were in my shoes are you sure you would have stepped in to do something? before this incident i would have argued that i would go to the aid of anyone, but now i'm not so sure. Well in fact i have been proved quite the opposite.

Yes, I would have done something. To be fair, I'm First Aid certified and have received a bit of slightly more advanced first aid, so take that as you will.

I can't honestly say you could have done anything beyond calling an ambulance, but all the same, you COULD have done that.

Understand this comes from a person who's rushed the rocket attack sites to try to help the injured (Fruitless. 88mm rockets don't leave much room for life). So I may be an extreme example of helpfulness, if you will.

 

[Hosker]

Because you don't capitalise "I".

But wait, her family and friends were there, so why do you have to do anything?

 

[Hero in a half shell]

I would say most people would react like that. You have to factor in shock at seeing it happening, and people already being there helping her.

I think the important thing to take away from the experience is that you regret not helping, so you obviously believe it was the correct thing to do. So if you are ever in a similar experience, do the right thing and help out.

Look at it as a character building experience: next time I will help out

 

[JokerCrowe]

I definitely understand your reaction. I probably would have at least made sure she was allright, been like; "Hey! You allright?" But I can't tell you my reaction, because it's never happened to me. If you feel that bad about it, just do something the next time something like that happens... I mean, you can't rewind time, but you can learn from experience, right?
I also hope that the woman is allright...

 

[Sightless Wisdom]

This is fairly normal actually, it's called diffusion of responsibility. The more bystanders present in a situation, the less likely the person is to get any help. If there was a large group of people she might not get any help at all, or not until someone finally realized what was going on. If you had been the only one around when she had fallen, you might have done something.

 

[The Bucket]

You would do that and it wouldn't bother you? or would you just freeze and not be able to do anything?

I personally would like to help anyone, but when it was time to step up to the plate i froze and did the complete opposite...

Wouldn't bother me. It'd be a good chance to see how others react in the situation. And if I'm the only one there, I can see how someone reacts while in pain or while unconscious. It'd be a good learning experience, to say the least.

Right, so you're one of those people who fancies themselve as a amauteur psycologist, thinking that they're figuring out the feeble illiogical humans from a position of superiority.