Why am i such a coward?

[Digikid]

While I do not agree with what you did it does not label you as a coward.

Personally I would have stopped whatever I was doing and went to her aid and called 911.

Doing nothing at all is just as bad as if you were the person that pushed her out of the taxi.

( Not saying she got pushed but you get my drift )

 

[Mcface]

unless you are qualified to help, which most people are not, its best to stay the fuck away. (unless of course, there really is no one else around)

the people there will call the paramedics/police whatever. a untrained person just adds to the chaotic situation and helps no one.

now another situation is: if someones physically in trouble and you are needed, trained or not. (someone being mugged, raped, attacked, etc)

I've been in a situation where i saw a guy getting mugged by another slightly bigger guy, who was about my size. I rushed over to help him, grabbed the guy doing the mugging and threw him to the ground, trying to restrain him. The guy i just helped, takes off in a full sprint and runs away. I was pissed. He left me to fight a guy who, if he stayed, we could have easily beaten up or restrained. After a struggle I just let the guy take off running, but needless to say it's changed me. I may not be so quick to help someone next time.

it's all just the type of person you are, if you stop to think about it, even for a second, you are less likely to get involved.

Police and the like are trained, they run towards a situation when others are running away from it, so you can be trained to think differently.

 

[Dr Snakeman]

You would do that and it wouldn't bother you? or would you just freeze and not be able to do anything?

I personally would like to help anyone, but when it was time to step up to the plate i froze and did the complete opposite...

Wouldn't bother me. It'd be a good chance to see how others react in the situation. And if I'm the only one there, I can see how someone reacts while in pain or while unconscious. It'd be a good learning experience, to say the least.

You really need to change your attitude, because this just isn't acceptable. You don't just "observe humans" like you're somehow separated from the situation. When a crisis is unfolding in front of you, you don't just get to treat it like a damn science experiment. How would you feel if someone just "wanted to see how you reacted while in pain", and didn't help out because it might corrupt his findings?

It's called empathy. Learn it. If you can't empathize, then that's... well, I'm going to go with the word that everyone else seems fond of and say "disgusting".

 

[Exocet]

I suffer from the opposite,I'll put myself in dangerous situations at times,and rush to help people I don't even know at others.

As exemple of the two,I once rushed in alone in a fight against 4 or 5 guys that had bricks in their hands because they chased a friend of mine(my memory is hazy,but I recall alot of adrenaline and testosterone fueled rage and yelling,at time nonsensical,barbaric shouts).
Another time,I saw a kid in a bus I was in just drop like a deadweight.When I saw he didn't trip or anything,I was the first on the ground seeing if he was ok.

It's really nothing to be envious about,they'll always be someone to help,so you can not do anything,and the person will still be cared for.You might miss some memorable bonding moments with friends by not getting in fights though.Primitive and stupid,I concede that point,but deep down,there's no better feeling than to know the person next to you will watch your back,despite the dangers present.

 

[Murmillos]

her friends or family rush out of the cab to help her.

If she was alone, I'd say you were a coward, but since there was already other people there to help her, its no harm in that you didn't help.

 

[Thaluikhain]

It's particularly hurtful because I think all people believe that if they were to ever find themselves in a compromising position, they'd be brave, act fast, whatever. I think we all scream at protagonists in horror movies for not doing "what we would do in that situation". However, once you're actually there, fear and self-preservation take hold and you don't do the smart thing. It's difficult coming to terms with the fact that your perception of yourself as a strong, smart person who can handle themselves is wrong.

It may not have been the brave thing, or the "moral" thing (based on some weird idea of morality), but that doesn't mean it's not the smart thing.

The ideal outcome, the one society likes to tell us about, is that you stand up to those sort of people and win. It doesn't say much about the odds or consequences of standing up and losing.

 

[Sion_Barzahd]

I could go into detail on the "diffusion of responsibility" which is a psychological study on this sort of thing. But its long and boring and it'll take too long to type; so basically it's this:

You saw the people were sorting the situation and it was still possible for you to eject from the situation without any negative social repercussions. So you did.

 

[lettucethesallad]

It's probably what most people would do. I broke up a fist fight once on my way home from the pub with a (male) friend between a huge dude who clearly liked working out and a nerdy scrawny dude. I'm a girl, and at the time I was only 18 and these were fullgrown men. There were plenty of witnesses around, but no-one stepped in _until I did_, at which point my friend and several other bystanders stepped in to help. Walking away, my friend turned to me and said "Wow. If you hadn't jumped in there, I would've just kept walking."

You're not alone in not doing anything. But I still think that it's the decent thing to do.

 

[Mcface]

It's probably what most people would do. I broke up a fist fight once on my way home from the pub with a (male) friend between a huge dude who clearly liked working out and a nerdy scrawny dude. I'm a girl, and at the time I was only 18 and these were fullgrown men. There were plenty of witnesses around, but no-one stepped in _until I did_, at which point my friend and several other bystanders stepped in to help. Walking away, my friend turned to me and said "Wow. If you hadn't jumped in there, I would've just kept walking."

You're not alone in not doing anything. But I still think that it's the decent thing to do.

Well a fight is one thing.. no matter how unfair it is, i don't get involved if it's 1 on 1. (unless i saw the situation leading up to it, and the guy on the receiving end is more being attacked) but if the weaker guy provoked the fight, or said something to deserve it, so be it. just because you are weaker dosen't mean the other guy cant defend his honor. as old school as that sounds i would still respect it.

also, breaking up a1on1 is never a good idea unless one person has clearly lost and is now just being beaten. You run the risk of accidentally getting hit yourself. i've seen fights where a woman, half the size of either guy, rushes to get involved to break it up, and BAM, gets hit by a stray punch and goes down hard. It's her own fault, but the guy still gets in trouble for it. you also run the risk (more if you are a guy) of appearing to be jumping in, in which case you may be attacked by one of the fighters friends, then it turns into a giant free for all.

Just let men duke it out like men, and every goes home happy.

 

[SkyeNeko]

There was this guy who slipped on the bus the other day (it was raining pretty hard outside, so his shoes were probably soaking) really bad. He wasn't bleeding or knocked out, but it looked like it hurt a lot. I didn't even give it a second thought and went back to listening to my music. Yeah in the back of my head theres the 'omg why didnt you help him' voice, but i try not to listen to it. god i feel like a ***** now.

 

[lettucethesallad]

It's probably what most people would do. I broke up a fist fight once on my way home from the pub with a (male) friend between a huge dude who clearly liked working out and a nerdy scrawny dude. I'm a girl, and at the time I was only 18 and these were fullgrown men. There were plenty of witnesses around, but no-one stepped in _until I did_, at which point my friend and several other bystanders stepped in to help. Walking away, my friend turned to me and said "Wow. If you hadn't jumped in there, I would've just kept walking."

You're not alone in not doing anything. But I still think that it's the decent thing to do.

Well a fight is one thing.. no matter how unfair it is, i don't get involved if it's 1 on 1. (unless i saw the situation leading up to it, and the guy on the receiving end is more being attacked) but if the weaker guy provoked the fight, or said something to deserve it, so be it. just because you are weaker dosen't mean the other guy cant defend his honor. as old school as that sounds i would still respect it.

also, breaking up a1on1 is never a good idea unless one person has clearly lost and is now just being beaten. You run the risk of accidentally getting hit yourself. i've seen fights where a woman, half the size of either guy, rushes to get involved to break it up, and BAM, gets hit by a stray punch and goes down hard. It's her own fault, but the guy still gets in trouble for it. you also run the risk (more if you are a guy) of appearing to be jumping in, in which case you may be attacked by one of the fighters friends, then it turns into a giant free for all.

Just let men duke it out like men, and every goes home happy.

Of course, you run the risk of personal injury breaking up a fight. But that people should be allowed to swing at eachother out on the streets like that and blame it on being an 'old fashioned one on one fight' is just plain stupid. Civilisation doesn't work that way. And honour? If you can't protect your honour without beating someone into a pulp, then you're most likely to be really insecure and, frankly, I wouldn't say you had much to be proud of.

In this particular case there wasn't so much fair fighting going on as the scrawny guy getting his ass kicked. What really bugged me out was the number of people just standing around _watching_. To not step in, even when it's needed, until someone else has the guts to do it is just cowardly and pathetic.

 

[Th37thTrump3t]

This is actually fairly common.

 

[CardinalPiggles]

ive been in a situation where im out with a group of friends, and we are in a park at night (doing nothing bad i promise), and these 2 guys walk upto us and do the stupid, ur on our turf thing, obviously we didnt know they owned the fucking park

anyway one of them pulled out a knife and started running it down my friends face, he was petrified, (as u can imagine), and i wanted to do something. so i waited till he pulled the knife away and wrestled it from him, like grabbed his arm and started twisting it to get his knife away.

once i done that my other friend stood next to me and we must have scared these guys enough to run off.


bullies and muggers think they are "hard" but when it comes down to it, most of them arent.


the police said i was fucking stupid for even trying that

 

[CardinalPiggles]

...

*snip*

but someday, you're going to need help, and you're going to understand what it feels like.

*snip*

this has happened to me, a group of young blokes mugged me in the park on my way home once and started beating me on the floor for not giving them my CD player (long time ago ).

anyway some guy with a massive dog came storming in and scared em all off, i ran home crying, and never got to thank him or even find out his name, but i can say i was incredibly grateful.

 

[Mcface]

It's probably what most people would do. I broke up a fist fight once on my way home from the pub with a (male) friend between a huge dude who clearly liked working out and a nerdy scrawny dude. I'm a girl, and at the time I was only 18 and these were fullgrown men. There were plenty of witnesses around, but no-one stepped in _until I did_, at which point my friend and several other bystanders stepped in to help. Walking away, my friend turned to me and said "Wow. If you hadn't jumped in there, I would've just kept walking."

You're not alone in not doing anything. But I still think that it's the decent thing to do.

Well a fight is one thing.. no matter how unfair it is, i don't get involved if it's 1 on 1. (unless i saw the situation leading up to it, and the guy on the receiving end is more being attacked) but if the weaker guy provoked the fight, or said something to deserve it, so be it. just because you are weaker dosen't mean the other guy cant defend his honor. as old school as that sounds i would still respect it.

also, breaking up a1on1 is never a good idea unless one person has clearly lost and is now just being beaten. You run the risk of accidentally getting hit yourself. i've seen fights where a woman, half the size of either guy, rushes to get involved to break it up, and BAM, gets hit by a stray punch and goes down hard. It's her own fault, but the guy still gets in trouble for it. you also run the risk (more if you are a guy) of appearing to be jumping in, in which case you may be attacked by one of the fighters friends, then it turns into a giant free for all.

Just let men duke it out like men, and every goes home happy.

Of course, you run the risk of personal injury breaking up a fight. But that people should be allowed to swing at eachother out on the streets like that and blame it on being an 'old fashioned one on one fight' is just plain stupid. Civilisation doesn't work that way. And honour? If you can't protect your honour without beating someone into a pulp, then you're most likely to be really insecure and, frankly, I wouldn't say you had much to be proud of.

In this particular case there wasn't so much fair fighting going on as the scrawny guy getting his ass kicked. What really bugged me out was the number of people just standing around _watching_. To not step in, even when it's needed, until someone else has the guts to do it is just cowardly and pathetic.

No people haven't become more "civilized" they have become softer. If you insult somebody, expect there to be retaliation. Fighting on the street is against the law. So let the police deal with it. Don't be stupid and get involved, and then whine when you end up getting hurt. I realize this isn't your case, im just saying in general. It's not your business, so you should stay out of it.

If the person didn't want a confrontation, he should have kept quiet.

and the people who claim "oh you are insecure" or "you have nothing else to be proud of" only say it because they themselves can't stick up for themselves, so they say that crap to make themselves feel better about it.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

You would do that and it wouldn't bother you? or would you just freeze and not be able to do anything?

I personally would like to help anyone, but when it was time to step up to the plate i froze and did the complete opposite...

Wouldn't bother me. It'd be a good chance to see how others react in the situation. And if I'm the only one there, I can see how someone reacts while in pain or while unconscious. It'd be a good learning experience, to say the least.

I dont know if youre being honest but you come across as one of these "im so super tough and hardcore cus i dont care if people die >:C" on the internet kinda people. Im sorry if this is not the case. However if you honestly wouldnt help people cus you somehow feel "better" than that, and want to observe like some omnipotent watcher it kinda just makes you a terrible terrible person. I dont think you would do that, not if it really happened. I held someone in my arms while their blood leaked all over the freakin floor from their cracked skull and spine, they fell out a window. You dont mean that. And if you really do, i pity you.

I dont mean to come off offencive. I just found the fact you seem to think being callous and cruel to people is cool or a good thing to do offencive. Ive been in this situation. It was a close loved one. I dont find such ideas very amusing or impressive at all.

On topic:
No you are not a coward. I freaked out to. I did something eventually but it was freaking scary, and i blame no man for wanted to run away or not be involved. It was terrifying. I feel for you. If you thought that woman was in good hands there was no need for you to intervine. If plenty of people were on hand it was ok. Dont worry about it.