Weird thought here, but maybe it's because you only date women that you keep getting romantically hurt by women?dscross said:
Jesus christ.
Why are women so fickle in love?
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Jesus christ.
Why did men wake me up at 6am to tell me about an item on Final Fantasy?!
Oh wait, men didn't. Certain man I know did (looking at you, boyfriend).
It would be ridiculous of me to pin anecdotal behaviour from my own life onto an entire gender, right?
OT: Women are people. People are flawed.
Sorry to hear about your recent heartbreak, but let's not go blaming my gender for it.
Oh wait, men didn't. Certain man I know did (looking at you, boyfriend).
It would be ridiculous of me to pin anecdotal behaviour from my own life onto an entire gender, right?
OT: Women are people. People are flawed.
Sorry to hear about your recent heartbreak, but let's not go blaming my gender for it.
Smeatza said:
I think that is not truly the case, I think human beings are frightened, scared, lonely, confused, lost and uncertain. But most people desire to do good, that I know.
Don't you think it's rather unfair to compare how real-life women function in fairy tales and chick flicks to how they function in real-life? It seems to me you had a bad experience similar to what happens in fairy tales and chick flicks, and now you're just running with the assumption that that's the normal. I'm afraid you are being offensive, because you're accusing women of being simplistic, fictional beings created to instigate dramatic tension, rather than the complex humans they are. I'm sure you did just meet a fickle woman, but that doesn't mean they are all like that. And just because fairy tales and chick flicks tend to show women as fickle doesn't mean most of them are necessarily like that, just as most men aren't always "irresponsible and messy, but still funny enough to be redeemable" manchildren who need a lesson in growing up before the end of the movie.dscross said:
pinkification, a big old wave of princess-merch, slimming down, extremely gendered marketing (lego?serious..)
stuff like cosmopolitan (read that the magazines are different written in other countries. maybe they are less vague. )
cliff pervocracy "reviews/mocks" the us-cosmo per month (blog is NSFW http://pervocracy.blogspot.de/2013/08/cosmocking-august-13.html )and rants about the mindset of "he has to know what i want without me needing to tell him" "romance HAS to be magic and just "has" to happen, if not, its no romance..and then asking why this shit doenst work?communication is the key)
(here a few quotes
" Q: A guy asked me out to see a movie. He picked me up, so I offered to pay for the movie tickets, saying it was like reimbursing him for gas money. I didn't think he would let me, but he did. Shouldn't he have tried to pay?
A: He shouldn't have tried to pay for the tickets--he should have insisted on paying for them."
[A: cliff:]Okay, seriously? I am so fucking sick of people who think "they should have known I meant the exact opposite of what I said" is acceptable adult communication. If you say you're going to pay for the tickets, and you are after all a grown woman with money of her own, then the reasonable assumption a person would make is that you're going to pay for the tickets."
[or]
Q: My guy wants to come on my face. How do I even respond?
A: [...] If he's into dominating, try doctor-patient role-play
(why not: tell him you dont want?. this is a nice how to Not talk to the one you have regularly sex with..)
stuff like cosmopolitan (read that the magazines are different written in other countries. maybe they are less vague. )
cliff pervocracy "reviews/mocks" the us-cosmo per month (blog is NSFW http://pervocracy.blogspot.de/2013/08/cosmocking-august-13.html )and rants about the mindset of "he has to know what i want without me needing to tell him" "romance HAS to be magic and just "has" to happen, if not, its no romance..and then asking why this shit doenst work?communication is the key)
(here a few quotes
" Q: A guy asked me out to see a movie. He picked me up, so I offered to pay for the movie tickets, saying it was like reimbursing him for gas money. I didn't think he would let me, but he did. Shouldn't he have tried to pay?
A: He shouldn't have tried to pay for the tickets--he should have insisted on paying for them."
[A: cliff:]Okay, seriously? I am so fucking sick of people who think "they should have known I meant the exact opposite of what I said" is acceptable adult communication. If you say you're going to pay for the tickets, and you are after all a grown woman with money of her own, then the reasonable assumption a person would make is that you're going to pay for the tickets."
[or]
Q: My guy wants to come on my face. How do I even respond?
A: [...] If he's into dominating, try doctor-patient role-play
(why not: tell him you dont want?. this is a nice how to Not talk to the one you have regularly sex with..)
No, there aren't - just in the past week I've found out about no fewer than 2 guys that I know have been cheating on their wives, and a third is about to divorce just because he's bored. And they all have kids. I'd say they need to man up, but in this context I think that's the same as calling them fickle, more-or-less.dscross said:
That said, humans all tend to be a bit selfish, and selfishness means that other people are going to get hurt. And when you're dealing with love you're dealing with other people - and likely to get hurt. You're thinking it's women because that's who you're dating, not because they're any worse than men.
Judging by the thread title, this is going to get good.
Have yo considered that women arent fickle, they just don't like you when they get to know you? And yes, I am just going to assume that you have had a rough time with the ladies and you are here trying to put your'e confusion to words.
Have yo considered that women arent fickle, they just don't like you when they get to know you? And yes, I am just going to assume that you have had a rough time with the ladies and you are here trying to put your'e confusion to words.
I was recently informed I hate men. I'm simply trying to follow through on something I didn't know I was!Magog1 said:
>.>
But seriously, I was mostly just agreeing. However, the nature of the Escapist doesn't allow simple "Yup" comments, so I expanded on it.
...and kicked it when it was down! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA....errr...Meow?
As I have dated both men and women, I cannot see any difference between dating either. There's no difference in fickleness.
Men just often think that behavior is fickle when women do it, but is magically totally okay, reasonable and manly when other men do it. It's dumb.
Men just often think that behavior is fickle when women do it, but is magically totally okay, reasonable and manly when other men do it. It's dumb.
Men and Women simply experience love differently in most cases. Men tend to see love almost like a cause to take up while women tend to focus on it more as a feeling. Men tend to view it more in terms of something worth sacrificing for. Like a personal investment. Women are typically more in love with the idea of love itself, than they are with the person they claim to love. You can see this in the way women tend to approach marriage. The groom is just a necessary accessory. Women tend to like getting married, far more than being married. When you look at divorce filing rates and which gender tends to file the vast majority of them, and then look at suicide rates between genders after divorce, it is pretty clear that we do not perceive love the same way.
Obviously this isn't true of all men or women and a single horrible person will of course victimize many people over there lifetimes in the field of love which can make it sometimes seem like there are for more horrible people out there than there really is.
Obviously this isn't true of all men or women and a single horrible person will of course victimize many people over there lifetimes in the field of love which can make it sometimes seem like there are for more horrible people out there than there really is.
Good lord. Sorry if I'm not helping you out here, and I'm especially sorry for you if you're in pain regarding some girl, but this actually ticks me off.
Guess what. A lot of heterosexual men are angry because they've dated women who are fickle, money grabby and hard to rely on.
A lot of heterosexual women are angry because they've dated men who are obsessed with sex, flirting with girls other than their mate, and are incapable of being faithful.
I have a female friend who's a lesbian, and she's frustrated because so many of the women she's dated are unsure of their sexuality and break it off with her when things get too serious.
The question isn't why are there heartbreaking fools and bastards in the world, the question you should ask yourself is why you end up being attracted to such women. There are PLENTY of good, honest fish in the sea, you're just hanging out too much with the rotten ones.
Guess what. A lot of heterosexual men are angry because they've dated women who are fickle, money grabby and hard to rely on.
A lot of heterosexual women are angry because they've dated men who are obsessed with sex, flirting with girls other than their mate, and are incapable of being faithful.
I have a female friend who's a lesbian, and she's frustrated because so many of the women she's dated are unsure of their sexuality and break it off with her when things get too serious.
The question isn't why are there heartbreaking fools and bastards in the world, the question you should ask yourself is why you end up being attracted to such women. There are PLENTY of good, honest fish in the sea, you're just hanging out too much with the rotten ones.
Men and women are equally as susceptible to being guilty of having unrealistic expectations when it comes to love. The difference is that women seem to be much more vocal about it.
That being said, have you ever stopped to consider that they may not be fickle, they just may not be interested in you?
That being said, have you ever stopped to consider that they may not be fickle, they just may not be interested in you?
Falling back on the old "men and women are basically the same" chestnut is a reductive cop-out. As others have pointed out, the enormous gender gap in divorce applicants (and subsequent suicides) can't just be hand-waved as irrelevant. It's not okay to judge one gender or the other morally for what are basically ingrained behaviors, but I think it's silly not to acknowledge or explore the differences.
Another totally random and ill-formed idea: women are, generally speaking, the "gate keepers" for our species (in developed, non-backwards nations). They control sexual opportunity, which is why most people would agree that a female "5" has a much better chance of finding a "mate" of equivalent or greater "value" than a male "5". On average, it seems women have more options and more opportunities. This wouldn't cause more fickle behavior so much as enable it.
Very attractive or powerful men also fall prey to "fickleness", though they tend to label it "sex addiction". In fact, I'd say the rate or degree of "fickleness" among such men is far higher than it is among the general population of women. This would suggest that, all things being equal, women might actually be LESS fickle than men before you take into account the disparate levels of opportunity.
Another totally random and ill-formed idea: women are, generally speaking, the "gate keepers" for our species (in developed, non-backwards nations). They control sexual opportunity, which is why most people would agree that a female "5" has a much better chance of finding a "mate" of equivalent or greater "value" than a male "5". On average, it seems women have more options and more opportunities. This wouldn't cause more fickle behavior so much as enable it.
Very attractive or powerful men also fall prey to "fickleness", though they tend to label it "sex addiction". In fact, I'd say the rate or degree of "fickleness" among such men is far higher than it is among the general population of women. This would suggest that, all things being equal, women might actually be LESS fickle than men before you take into account the disparate levels of opportunity.