Why bother making 'friends'?

[Mikodite]

Of anything I've learned in my short stay on this planet its that people are temporary, disposable, and possibly garbage. Knowing this makes it hard for me to want to bond with people knowing that given a few months to a couple of years I will never see or hear from them again. I wish it wasn't this way, but I've learned though pattern recognition that making friends is pointless, to the point where 'friend' becomes a misnomer.

I'm wondering what others think about this (and I know I'm going to get a shit-storm of people who are going to be all 'you socially-misaligned misanthrope' on this.) I admit that I sometimes feel lonely and I do have a few people I hang around with, but I'm not friends with them: I just hang around them. There is no sense of comradely or connection, and I don't think I fit in with them anyways. There will be no hard feelings when it comes that I never see them again. I have formed emotional bonds with people before, and at best I had to feel the heartache of never seeing someone I was close to again, and a worst had this relationship betrayed, so why bother anymore if its just going to end in pain?

 

[TheTim]

I figured it was always better to attempt to make friends and if you don't like them then cut ties.

In life you will fail, and fail some more, and keep failing, but if you stop trying because you "might fail" then you will never grow, you will never lean and you will never even have a chance of succeeding.

 

[Syphous]

I'm 26. I have two really good friends that I've been friends with since high school, making it about a decade. I have a couple of friends that I've known since early elementary, making it about 15-20 years now. I may just be lucky, or I may be a good friend who's worthy of loyalty. Guess it's how you look at it. And sure, others have come and gone, but that's life. People move, personalities/interests change, some have even died, but you can't write everyone off because there's always the chance to make friends with someone who'll be there when you need them.

I just re-read this and even though it's pretty corny I'm still going to click the post button.

 

[])rStrangelove]

Humans are herd animals. Isolated ppl get depressive and automaticly search for other humans to talk to. Only way to not get mad - if you're not already in Arkham City that is.

Ppl who seek solitude have another problem they first need to get over with, but after that they normally return to our society.

 

[IBlackKiteI]

Some people are just great, and this might sound weird but when you know people you're friends with for a long amount of time, particularly from school onwards, your personalities and ideas and whatnot rub off on each other.
I just think that's great. I'm now in mid high school and have had the same group of friends since kindergarten and we've all become very similar but still different. We never argue. It's just awesome to have people like that to hang around with, so why not bother making friends?

 

[Canadamus Prime]

I think I understand what you mean, at least as far as the inevitable pain goes, that would certainly explain why I'm now reluctant to connect with people. But no, I don't agree that it's pointless. In life we experience both joy and sorrow, pain and pleasure, it's all part of the complete package. While it might sound ideal to go through life never experiencing pain or sorrow, ultimately it would be a very empty life.

EDIT: Besides that, by forgoing friends you'll be forgoing a hell of a lot more joy and pleasure then you will be pain and sorrow.

 

[chowderface]

I just want you to know that I've heard drain-grade angsty anti-heroes who sound a lot like you. And I've heard teenage kids trying to emulate them who sound like you. I guess what I'm saying is I'm not at all sympathetic to your plight. Maybe because I get intensely depressive when I'm isolated, in a fashion that is probably not a sign of a totally healthy psyche, but that's beside the point.

I'm gonna sound a lot like the new My Little Pony or one of those other sappy shows that's all about friendship but having friends means you don't have to do everything alone. I mean think about those guys you know who you aren't friends with. They won't even help you MOVE, let alone deal with a real crisis. With friends who are supporting you things are so much easier. And sure, sometimes they go away and that hurts, but sometimes they don't. Even if you gotta work at staying in touch. And quite apart from all that, I have another, much simpler argument; with the sole exception of taking a dump, I have, in twenty-four years of experience, never done anything that was more fun solo than it was with friends.

You know what, I think I have the perfect example. Go read Schlock Mercenary. Not all at once, you've got like eleven, twelve years of archives to get through. It's a comic about a troupe of mercenaries. They're misanthropic, violent, and many of them are insane by any clinical definition (several others fall short of the mark, but just barely). The title character isn't happy unless he's gorging on powdered drink mix or blasting something with a plasma cannon. See what they think of "friends".

 

[thom_cat_]

My friends are absolutely amazing. They stay true to themselves and are nice, awesome, interesting and creative people. Also very silly and just the kind of people I want around. I love my friends, that is why.

 

[Esotera]

Humans are social creatures by nature. There was a TED talk about this where they analysed the factors that allowed people to live for 100+ years...they were nearly always surrounded by family & friends.

That said I think a short life of misanthropy is better than a long life of socialising. But you do have to strike a balance.

 

[Powereaver]

because i want the social company outside the family i want other ties outside the household because i dont ALWAYS want to rely on my family.

 

[Scarim Coral]

All I can say is that you haven't met the right people for you yet.

Ok yes I had cut ties with my closest friends in High school (I realise that they were more of an ass compare to the friend I made in Uni) and many more people in my past, however despite of this I have kept in torch with my closest friends from Uni.

Yes I do prefer solitude and quiet but not all the time. Believe me it's alot more fun to speak with your friend and having a dicussions like the games you had played or the films you had watched (sort of what you do in these forum but face to face).

Sure you may think there nothing to gain in having friendship but if the human race were solitude type of creatures than I would we would of been extint by now. No matter how much you're capable by being yourself, only in a group you will be much more than that.

 

[Crazy Elf]

... so why bother anymore if its just going to end in pain?

You're still in high school aren't you?

 

[Kukakkau]

There's a reason social isolation is a punishment...

Also any reason you made this thread twice?

 

[bdcjacko]

Friends are stupid and annoying. You should bother getting any. They always want to hang out and do stuff and give emotional support. What jerks.

 

[MammothBlade]

EDIT: Posted in other thread

 

[targren]

To complement your abilities, of course. If you're a plate-wearing, sword-n-board type, you need to buddy up with, at least, a cleric, a rogue, and a mage/sorcerer. If you've got the personality to spare, it might not be a bad idea to invest in a ranger friend, too. That way, you're ready for anything.

Also, it's important that your friends have money, since I hear the DM is a real dick.

 

[VildVittran]

You mention that you have had close friends in the past, but they betrayed you, but surely up until that point you must have been happy with them? Or otherwise the betrayal shouldn't have hurt as much. Perhaps that happiness or contentment you felt when having friends is why you should bother. Not all humans are assholes and if you keep trying to find people to befriend, you will evetually find someone who is worth your time.

All the times I can remember when I was feeling the happiest or having the most fun is when I've been with friends or just a group of people, that's at least my motivation to bother making friends.

This may sound clichéd, but you never know what the future holds, who knows what amazing people you will meet through the course of your life.

 

[Uefascal]

I figured it was always better to attempt to make friends and if you don't like them then cut ties.

In life you will fail, and fail some more, and keep failing, but if you stop trying because you "might fail" then you will never grow, you will never lean and you will never even have a chance of succeeding.

I agree yeah. This seems the most logical idea if needed!

 

[3aqua]

Wow, I was expecting more 'Friendship is magic quotes'
Anyway, the reason I make friends in my dreary high school setting is to brighten up my day. Never do I feel quite so at ease or quite so happy when I'm hanging with my BFF.

P.S: I suspect my opinion might change as most of my friends leave high school at sixteen, a prospect I am beginning to dread.

 

[Soggy Toast]

I understand what you mean, though the way most everyone in this thread worded it makes them sound like an antisocial loser.