Why can I not forgive this person for what happened?

[Liberaliter]

He sounds like an attention seeking asshole, you're better off without him.

 

[Appleshampoo]

If the dude is on ANY anti-depressants and was drinking alcohol then you can safely blame the anti-depressants. They state on the box NOT to mix them with alcohol, and there is a reason. They send you bat shit. I know, because I used to be on them and drank once and got messed up beyond belief. You do things you wouldn't normally do, and in your head nothing is wrong with it, yet to anyone who's not you, you seem crazy.

So blame the drugs if he's on them, if not, then run.

 

[Griffolion]

I think forgiving someone is making them relinquish the power they have over you, in a sense. I'm not saying they are like some dark lord on a throne of skulls in your mind, but this event is obviously taking up a lot of your head space at the moment, and it's dominated by him. That's what I mean by 'power'. That said, it's never easy, and neither does it come right away. Often it's painful, like plucking a large thorn out of your skin. I'd say the best thing to do is to just confront the issue directly. Say that what happened has massively hurt you and that he was wrong for it, and obviously suggest therapy etc. Whether or not he responds to that isn't really important, it's that you made the attempt to resolve it and have made known your feelings. This confrontation of the problem is what leads to freeing up your head space again; like having a spring clean of a house, it doesn't do itself.

a lot of people these days go 'oh you have to forgive him'.(especially at my church) and sure you can understand why he did this obviously since you said he has depression.

But forgiveness in my opinion is more of an emotion or feeling or whatever and not something you can just do on demand. just saying you forgive someone isnt worth much. And you shouldnt say that you do until you really do, otherwise forgiveness is just a word.

Yeah I agree, people just sort of say 'you have to forgive' without giving thought to just what that process often entails and how hard it can be. Their holy book says to forgive (well, the new testament mainly, lol) but it gives no mention of the time scale or method by which that's done.

 

[Cazza]

Clinical depression shouldn't give someone the okay to be a jerk. Try giving more then just a few days. Give it a few weeks. If they don't make an effort to give you one hell of a sorry. It would be bet if you both part ways. I probably won't want to see them again.

 

[JMeganSnow]

One person in our group, suffers from some depression, and on this night, he has an episode.

That's not "some" depression. That's freaking psychosis. If you value your own safety, you should stop associating with him until he gets some serious help.

As far as "forgiveness" goes, who cares about that. What would it benefit him or you to "forgive" his behavior? It won't make you more safe or him less nuts. Do something that WILL make you more safe, at least (since you can't really do anything about the latter part), and you won't feel the need to dwell on it any more. You regaining your peace of mind is all that really matters.