Why do people hate their Ex?

[SilentCom]

Just as the topic states, why do people hate their Ex? This could include ex-boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, etc. If the couple have loved each other then why does the relationship weaken to the point of sheer hatred for the other? I understand if a relationship has some difficulties, but if there is love in it, why would people be so willing to break up and start hating each other? Couldn't they try to find a way to make it work or is the love a lie in some cases?

 

[Fishehh]

Some people (like my self) ended the relationship for reason leaving resent and anger towards the other. I ended my last one, because I found she was stealing from me, before that, actually ended quite civilly with us both going "This isn't going to work, huh?" and parted ways

Also abuse is another reason why hatred can come about, I had a girlfriend once who physically beat me (Shut-up she was strong and I can't intentionally harm or fight back against anyone).

People also may have had the relationship ended on them without them wanting it to have ended. For example, the people who think it's just going fine, but then the other one suddenly leaves with no prior issues known to the first

People do end them too quickly sometimes, but a lot of the time, it is mutual.

 

[Lilani]

-snip-

Since when does EVERYBODY hate their ex? I think this sort of thing is completely situational, depending on the context of the breakup. Sometimes it's a simple "I don't think we're right for each other" thing and things aren't too bad. Other times somebody cheats, or lies, or they have a big fight, or somebody has a total meltdown because they don't handle rejection well. Those breakups have more raw emotions attached to them, and that can easily turn to resentment.

And I think the reason you've come to assume that EVERYBODY hates their ex is because most breakups are messy. And you are also assuming that all relationships run on the purest love. That is also false. There are a million different reasons people get into relationships, and love is not always the top contender. To answer your question, yes, love is a lie in MANY cases. Also, it is possible to both fall in and out of love. Just because you love someone at one time doesn't mean you will always love them.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

-snip-

Since when does EVERYBODY hate their ex? I think this sort of thing is completely situational, depending on the context of the breakup. Sometimes it's a simple "I don't think we're right for each other" thing and things aren't too bad. Other times somebody cheats, or lies, or they have a big fight, or somebody has a total meltdown because they don't handle rejection well. Those breakups have more raw emotions attached to them, and that can easily turn to resentment.

And I think the reason you've come to assume that EVERYBODY hates their ex is because most breakups are messy. And you are also assuming that all relationships run on the purest love. That is also false. There are a million different reasons people get into relationships, and love is not always the top contender. To answer your question, yes, love is a lie in MANY cases. Also, it is possible to both fall in and out of love. Just because you love someone at one time doesn't mean you will always love them.

Got to side with the Starfish, it's all about context.

OT: I usually end up hating myself rather than who I'm with at the end of a relationship.

 

[Sammisaurus]

I think it just depends on the personality of those involved. I have a friend that has completely ignored her ex's' existence and others that kind of just shrug it off and resume their lives. My ex and I had a somewhat-bad breakup, but now he's one of my best friends

 

[devotedsniper]

I'm still friends with all of my ex's although there was the one time when one of them cheated on me and we didn't speak for a year so i guess that could have counted as hate.

 

[twaddle]

because i'm constantly haunted by the past of what could have been and the memories of her face and smile and personality. I love my current gf and have been with her for near 4 years now, but those old memories pop up every now and then and boy do they sting. i try to hate her because that's what allowed me to move on forward in my life. I believe that thats how most blokes cope too unless their ex's were complete and utter wankers. I don't hate her deep down though but like i said, flashbacks are a pain.

 

[Dr.Panties]

Because love is ephemeral, but herpes is forever!

 

[arsenicCatnip]

I hate all of my exes because they were, to a man (and woman), manipulative and/or abusive. More than that, I hate them because they made me hate myself. If I hadn't left my ex-husband, I would have likely killed myself.

 

[nothingspringstomind]

Because sometimes it's less painful to hate them than the alternative.

I'm going to go cry now.

 

[TheKruzdawg]

-snip-

Since when does EVERYBODY hate their ex? I think this sort of thing is completely situational, depending on the context of the breakup. Sometimes it's a simple "I don't think we're right for each other" thing and things aren't too bad. Other times somebody cheats, or lies, or they have a big fight, or somebody has a total meltdown because they don't handle rejection well. Those breakups have more raw emotions attached to them, and that can easily turn to resentment.

And I think the reason you've come to assume that EVERYBODY hates their ex is because most breakups are messy. And you are also assuming that all relationships run on the purest love. That is also false. There are a million different reasons people get into relationships, and love is not always the top contender. To answer your question, yes, love is a lie in MANY cases. Also, it is possible to both fall in and out of love. Just because you love someone at one time doesn't mean you will always love them.

I completely agree with you, as I'm still friends with my ex-girlfriend. We had some difficulties and decided to end things amicably, partially because we had to (we had been living together during the school year) and despite knowing it wouldn't work out, we still WANTED to remain friends. We went on a temporary break for a time to try and fix some of the problems, but we knew it wasn't going to work. Sometimes you just know and the best thing to do is part of the best terms possible. It's not impossible to stay friends with your ex, but it requires a lot of work. It was definitely really awkward for a while, as we had to change a lot of aspects about our lives, but it is possible.

 

[DustyDrB]

Err...I only hate two of my Exes. Hate is a strong word...it's only appropriate for one of them (for a bevy of reasons).

My last girlfriend and I still get along great. She's freaking awesome. We just broke up because of conflicting goals. She still brings over lots of alcohol and makes those tasty girly drinks for me that I don't have the stones to order in a bar or restaurant. How can you hate someone like that?

 

[lord.jeff]

I don't hate any of my ex's, though they may hate me.

 

[enzilewulf]

I don't hate my ex's. We ended on some shity notes but whats past is past. If you hold on to it to long then it will end up killing you.

 

[JRCB]

My girlfriend and I have agreed that if we do break up, that we're going to try to remain friends, since our lives are pretty intertwined. I'm still pretty bitter towards other girls I once knew and liked, though.

Two of my friends broke up a while ago, and that was pretty bad. He acts like she doesn't exist, and she feels pretty crappy about it. I'm not sure if she hates him, but I wouldn't be surprised if she did.

 

[Wushu Panda]

Not everyone hates their ex, but generally an issue arises that cannot be resolved and an easy method to deal with it is getting drunk and focusing anger towards the opposing party.

 

[xXHaytonLloyd23Xx]

because i'm constantly haunted by the past of what could have been and the memories of her face and smile and personality. I love my current gf and have been with her for near 4 years now, but those old memories pop up every now and then and boy do they sting. i try to hate her because that's what allowed me to move on forward in my life. I believe that thats how most blokes cope too unless their ex's were complete and utter wankers. I don't hate her deep down though but like i said, flashbacks are a pain.

Pretty much what was said here. I mean, i love my current girlfriend to death (hell we're currently engaged) but every now and then i'll remember my first love. Are break up was devastating to ssay the least (she got wasted at my bestfriends party and had a threesome with the local man whore of my school and my ex girlfriend all while my bestfriend filmed it. No matter how much i "should" hate her, i don't and can't bring myself to hate her