Why do screwups stick around?

[similar.squirrel]

As somebody who has blundered from less-than-stellar situation to less-than-stellar situation purely of his own accord over the past few years, it occurred to me today that the whole thing seems rather futile. As much as it goes against what I'd like to believe, life seems to be stratified into layers of achievers, and the lower ones rarely move upwards. You'll generally find them in bedsits at 35 with half a degree and a collection of tracksuit trousers.

Anyway, what keeps people like that going? I personally think it's a mixture of family [pre-emptive guilt] and a biological imperative. But it still strikes me as odd that one could chronically achieve crappy grades in all avenues of life and still keep soldiering on. Opinions?

 

[Lord Mountbatten Reborn]

I think a lot of them drink.

Obviously not just that though. You can still find fulfilment in all sorts of things you do. I personally wouldn't be able to understand nor tolerate it, but that doesn't mean other people can't.

Oh yeah, and drugs too.

 

[Woodsey]

So... what, you think people should lie under a bus because they don't excel at anything in particular?

 

[CrawlingPastaHellion]

...

So what's your alternative? Suicide?

There are a lot of people that couldn't do the right choice in life and really with so many possibilities, who can blame them?

I myself had problems on that front as well, took me quite a long time to realize who I am and what I stand for, but I finally did. As long as you're alive you have a chance, once you're dead that chance had expired, but by then you couldn't care less.

Also, remember that societal goals are not necessarily your goals, meaning that in the first instance you should always do what's best for you.

 

[Baradiel]

I'd go with the fact every atom of your being tells you not to kill yourself. That and the fear of death, or if there is anything after death. Personally, I find the idea of nothing after death to be the most comforting.

I'll sound like a pretentious twat, but Hamlet's "To be or not to be" speech isn't just considering his own suicide like so many people think. He has an internal debate with himself over why people put up with so much shit in life, so much suffering, but don't choose to end it. I can't remember the entire speech (I learnt it years ago, and I'm slightly hungover) but, yeah. Shakespeare was on the ball.

 

[Colour Scientist]

The town that shall not be named not working out too well then?

I think for some people it's the desire to do well, without the motivation to pursue it on a day-to-day basis. Say, a person really wants a particular degree but doesn't like the everyday practices or experience of college/university. They ultimately want to achieve the goal but struggle to maintain the work ethic to do so as they aren't enjoying the process of getting to the finish line.

Family guilt is a big thing as well. When someone has been raised with certain expectations that it becomes a question of what to do in college as opposed to a question of whether or not to go to college. That usually fails though because unless you really want something for your own benefit you will struggle to achieve it.

 

[Genericjim101]

Usually delusion, but right now I'm too busy watching unicorns run down the road to back up my claim.

 

[Thaluikhain]

By definition, not everyone can be the top 1%. But that doesn't mean the 99% is to be ignored or despised.

If you still have a job, still pay your taxes, vote, try to be a good person, it shouldn't be that upsetting that some people have more toys than you.

Ok, it is, but dealing with that is all part of growing up.

 

[similar.squirrel]

Usually delusion, but right now I'm too busy watching unicorn run down the road to back up my claim.

You just made my day.

znip

Just something that had been circling my mind for the last few years, is all.

So... what, you think people should lie under a bus because they don't excel at anything in particular?

I'm not saying anybody should do anything, merely wondering why people don't, if they can understand their situation.

 

[Mintaro]

We are designed to strive on through adversity. Otherwise a single drought, famine or natural disaster would greatly impair our ability as a species to continue reproducing, thus being an inefficient genetic design.

Essentially it goes against nature to give up.

One thing to understand however. Mediocrity is a vast illusion. You may not be as successful as other people. You may spend your entire life handing people coffee at different jobs, or trucking around the mail cart. But these are jobs that are needed. Even these simple actions enable others to complete "more essential" jobs which allows people to complete still "more essential" jobs.

Even if you find yourself stuck in one of these low end jobs, just remember that working hard and continuing to try for a better tomorrow will eventually yield results.

However if that isn't enough for you, you can always begin down the path of self education, spiritual empowerment, or community involvement. All of these will bring you a sense of self confidence and, arguably more importantly, self fulfillment.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

As somebody who has blundered from less-than-stellar situation to less-than-stellar situation purely of his own accord over the past few years, it occurred to me today that the whole thing seems rather futile. As much as it goes against what I'd like to believe, life seems to be stratified into layers of achievers, and the lower ones rarely move upwards. You'll generally find them in bedsits at 35 with half a degree and a collection of tracksuit trousers.

This is a social construct. "Achievement" is highly subjective and entirely relative. Biologically, the only thing you're required to achieve is to eat, breathe, shit, sleep, and reproduce. People apply their own meaning to things.

 

[CrawlingPastaHellion]

We are designed to strive on through adversity.

We weren't designed. No living organism was. Not yet, at least.

 

[similar.squirrel]

As somebody who has blundered from less-than-stellar situation to less-than-stellar situation purely of his own accord over the past few years, it occurred to me today that the whole thing seems rather futile. As much as it goes against what I'd like to believe, life seems to be stratified into layers of achievers, and the lower ones rarely move upwards. You'll generally find them in bedsits at 35 with half a degree and a collection of tracksuit trousers.

This is a social construct. "Achievement" is highly subjective and entirely relative. Biologically, the only thing you're required to achieve is to eat, breathe, shit, sleep, and reproduce. People apply their own meaning to things.

But a social construct could be likened to an environment, psychologically speaking. In lower animals, it may be irrelevant, but sapience adds another kettle of fish.

 

[Vamantha]

I don't really understand the post. I'll just answer the Title...

As the proud child of two screw up parents I can say the only reasons they live for are drugs and a small amount is for being there for me now. I find that deep down they're good people who have been fucked over so many times in life that they have given up on normal means of living. They then turned to drugs to drown out their pain. They got addicted and made more mistakes. More people fucked them over. They got worse and never recovered. Why don't they change? Because they are happy in their world of illusion. No one can hurt them and they feel safe.

Besides what you view as a screw up may be just a person who is happy with the cards they have been given. I'm considered a screw up and I haven't even done anything remotely wrong.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

But a social construct could be likened to an environment, psychologically speaking. In lower animals, it may be irrelevant, but sapience adds another kettle of fish.

One of the benefits of sapience is the ability to think critically about your environment, and one of the benefits of thinking critically about your environment is the ability to discard social constructs when they become an impediment to your happiness/survival. Don't like how your life is turning out according to the present day definition of success? Cease to ascribe to that definition of success, and find a new one that is more meaningful for you.

 

[similar.squirrel]

But a social construct could be likened to an environment, psychologically speaking. In lower animals, it may be irrelevant, but sapience adds another kettle of fish.

One of the benefits of sapience is the ability to think critically about your environment, and one of the benefits of thinking critically about your environment is the ability to discard social constructs when they become an impediment to your happiness/survival. Don't like how your life is turning out according to the present day definition of success? Cease to ascribe to that definition of success, and find a new one that is more meaningful for you.

Excellent point. Relativism is a powerful tool.

 

[FrequentFlyer]

As somebody who has blundered from less-than-stellar situation to less-than-stellar situation purely of his own accord over the past few years, it occurred to me today that the whole thing seems rather futile. As much as it goes against what I'd like to believe, life seems to be stratified into layers of achievers, and the lower ones rarely move upwards. You'll generally find them in bedsits at 35 with half a degree and a collection of tracksuit trousers.

Anyway, what keeps people like that going? I personally think it's a mixture of family [pre-emptive guilt] and a biological imperative. But it still strikes me as odd that one could chronically achieve crappy grades in all avenues of life and still keep soldiering on. Opinions?

You hit the nail on the head with that one. I'm sure the thought of loved ones and the impact it might have on them has held people back many a time, while, ironically enough, the same guilt acts as a motivator to try even harder or do even better, but it's also a very biological instinct that forces humankind to preserver against all odds. I guess a more abstract umbrella word one could use for this instinct would be 'Hope'.

 

[Craorach]

Despite the world telling us that everyone has to excel at something.. the fact of the matter is, that what really keeps the world going, is your average joe who does the low level jobs so all those people who are super awesome can do their fantastic, ground breaking, entertaining, work. It's interesting to note that some of the most unpleasant jobs in the world, done by people who have never achieved any of the things society says we should, are things that.. if not done... our society would grind to a halt. Some of them pay pretty well too.

One of the worst things that has happened in our culture is that, these days, every child is constantly filled with the idea that they can "be anything they want" and "find what they are good at". Those, many, many, many people who are simply okay at things feel like failures.

 

[Mintaro]

We are designed to strive on through adversity.

We weren't designed. No living organism was. Yet, at least.

Design does not necessarily refer to a blueprint or a great 'creator'.

The definitions I was referring to were more along the lines of

-to intend for a definite purpose

-organization or structure of formal elements in a work of art; composition.

Two different definitions of design.

Each strand of genetic coding exists for a specific reason, and with a purpose designed by natural selection to continue successful and bountiful procreation. Though sometimes there are side effects, such as horrible genetic predispositions to diseases. But that's a whole different discussion.

 

[Frankster]

Life is what you make of it+the only relevant life goals are the ones you set for yourself rather then the standards of others (ex:i personally place higher importance on family, if i end up getting married and having kids and do a good job raising them, i'l consider my contract towards life fulfillfed)+ the world is full of coping mechanisms: alcohol, drugs, addiction to just about anything, depression or heck, arguing with people on the net to get an ego boost, its all good... Pick your poison and see what works for ya whilst trying to prevent said coping mechanisms or flaws consume you and drag ya down further.