Why do some parents have an aversion to explaining homosexuality to their children?

[sh1v3rs]

In modern times as present times homosexuality is found normal in general.
But parents did not grow up in present times, they grew up before it, when homosexuality was a taboo and was found unnatural and not normal in general. - Addapting to modern times, here: talking about homosexuality with your children, isn't an easy thing to do, I think.

That's how I see it.

You know how mommy and daddy are together, because they like each other so very much? Sometimes the same thing happens between two women or two men.

BOOM. DONE.

I like your way of thinking, my kind sir.

 

[Comocat]

Most parents have an aversion to explaining heterosexuality to their children. Why would homosexuality be any easier?

This. My wife has taught high school for 8 years, you won't believe some of the crazy shit kids believe about sex because everything they learned about the opposite sex they got from the internet.

@OP- do you have any basis for this thread though? I mean I imagine "the sex talk" is rather infamous, but on what basis do you think being gay is somehow presented differently? I'm not saying I disagree given the prevalent attitudes, but before we open a thread about "dem crazy bigots" maybe we should have a basis for our thoughts?

 

[Smeatza]

Probably because most of them are straight and wouldn't know how to explain it even if they wanted to.

It's easy enough to say "two men or two women can be in love as well as a man and a woman" but kids ask lots of questions, that I assume most people outside of the gay community wouldn't know the answer to.

 

[Froggy Slayer]

I haven't explained it all to my kids because it hasn't come up.

I answer when they ask things.

I don't mean 'why don't parents explain to the children out of nowhere', but I instead wonder why some parents, if the topic comes up, are unwilling to explain it.

 

[Austin Mcgough]

Ummmmmm because explaining homosexuality to your kids also means explaining he birds and the bees to them, and trust me a sex talk with the folks is the most awkward and horrible conversation you can have.

 

[Calibanbutcher]

I have a suggestion:


Maybe NSFW`link_
Just leave one of these

http://www.amazon.com/Maybe-Maybe-Not-Ralf-Konig/dp/0965632342/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1357748183&sr=1-1&keywords=ralf+koenig

lying around your house for your kids to stumble upon.
That will teach them about (homo)sexuality.

 

[Yopaz]

Well, have you ever had the talk with your parents? I haven't had that talk and I never wanted to either. Discussing sexuality with your parents/kids is blown up to be one of the most awkward experiences you go through. I haven't had it and I don't know someone who's had it so I can't speak from personal experience.

Now parents and kids dislike talking about what happens when you grow up, they don't like talking about your period, your hormone changes or that hair is growing in new places. Then talking about sex is supposed to be worse. Why should talking about homosexuality be any different?

 

[BenzSmoke]

I don't really get this in our modern day and age. It isn't even like you have to introduce sex talk at this point. The main part that I don't understand is that many parents who say that they are OK with homosexuality will still try to shelter their kids from the idea.

Because they were most likely raised in a situation where their parents, and other authority figures, treated homosexuality as a taboo subject. As a result they treat homosexuality as more of a taboo than other subjects, even if they are ok with it, because that was they way they were raised.

 

[Karoshi]

When I was 4 or 5 I asked my mom what gay meant, since it came up on the TV. She said "When a guy loves a guy, he's gay." All I needed to know. She may not like queer people, but she had definitely no problem explaining homosexuality.

Honestly, I have no clue why you gotta bring in sex when talking about homosexuality. When explaining heterosexual love, do you need to explain what doggy style means? Nope, just mention wedding, holding hands and kissing. Same for homosexual love.

 

[II2]

Kids ask "why?"

Straight parents who are totally OK with LGBT peeps don't have a clue WHY people are attracted to what they are anymore. They can try and contextualize their own, "some moms and some dads like other..." but then it unravels and become more complicated and difficult regarding reproduction and adoption mechanics. You could pitch it as "some men and some women like other...", but kids are usually smart enough to follow up with, "does that mean..?"

Most people have enough trouble talking to their kids about sexuality... enough so to leave it in the hands of the public school system (...jaysis...) so homosexuality is that but a lot harder to adequately explain to a curious kid. Likewise, it's not called "gay lovers" is the most sanitized way to put it, but the differences always lead back into an exploration of the sexual mechanics that are the core of the distinction and the reason for such relationships to form.

I don't have kids, but I reckon that's somewhere in the ballpark.

 

[fenrizz]

I've not had "The Talk" with my kids (and does anyone really do that anyway?) but I've explained that two boys or two girls can be a couple and love each other too, just like mommy and daddy does.

As for why, I really don't know.
I can only speculate that they are afraid of them "catching the gay" or just feel uncomfortable with it.

 

[lazy villian]

There was a Daniel Tosh joke about this.
(I couldn't find an original clip so I'll do my best to remember)

California Prop 8 past, I guess we're not as liberal as we thought. The mormon church ran an ad where a little girl ran into her house and told her mom "Today at school, the teacher told me when I grow up I can marry a princess."
I know California parents, they all thought "Wait I'm going to have to talk to my kids? Sorry gays, I'm voting yes"


I know I butchered that.

i remember the joke and you pretty much got it
and basically that

 

[lazy villian]

I've not had "The Talk" with my kids (and does anyone really do that anyway?) but I've explained that two boys or two girls can be a couple and love each other too, just like mommy and daddy does.

As for why, I really don't know.
I can only speculate that they are afraid of them "catching the gay" or just feel uncomfortable with it.

having the talk letting your kids know that your willing to talk to them about
ENNNEHTHEN is a good thing, and giving the basics before the sexual education professor shows them stds and they dont want to sex anymore

 

[Abomination]

There are two types of not explaining homosexuality to children. First, there's the rather innocent situation of the question hasn't arisen yet. Second, there's the not-so-innocent situation of the parents refusing to explain homosexuality to the children or rather giving an untrue and bigoted opinion of it.

The first situation is easy enough and really isn't worth worrying about. Homosexuality, to a child, is not something easily perceived. They would likely need to see PDA and the probability of that happening and being homosexual while in front of a child is fairly low.

The second situation is just a powder-keg and is one of the primary reasons that homophobia will continue to be an issue for awhile.

As to -why- they do not explain in a truthful manner what homosexuality is to their children? They're likely bigoted assholes, is the short answer. The long answer is that they are attempting to instil their beliefs and "values" upon their children, like every parent has a subconscious desire to.

 

[Melon Hunter]

-snip-

Smart post. Just re-read that article and it's not bad actually, patronising in tone but to be honest the bloke properly sets himself up for it. Forgot how wildly in need of (non-sinister) education he is! How odd to be so disconnected from modern thinking. I think the whole point will become moot to be honest, people this divorced from modern understand are dying out. You can see Cameron, what ever else you think about him, is fully into supporying gay marriage.

Thanks for the reply. I have to admit, that interview does come off as lampooning Davies as a complete fool, but I do like it as a reminder that Hanlon's Razor is alive and well; there's a lot more insensitivity that comes from ignorance than comes from malice. I agree that this will probably all be moot soon enough; there's a lot of Conservative backbenchers who vehemently opposed civil partnerships upon their introduction who now hold them up as a fair alternative to gay marriage. Even over the course of five years, the concept of homosexual relationships being recognised legally has gone from abhorrent to completely normal to most, if not all, far-right wing MPs (and by far-right, I mean significantly further to the right than the Conservative Party as a whole, not nationalists/fascists), and I would imagine this course of incremental normalisation will continue to hold true in the years to come.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Sometimes ignorance wants to breed ignorance. I suppose they think if they don't talk about it, they might squash any of the gay out of them.

Funnily enough, I've had this conversation with my niece (she's 9). I live next door to a gay couple and she was talking about them saying "I was talking to Tom and his friend..."
I stopped her and said, "That's his boyfriend. Like your mummy has a boyfriend? Jay is Tom's boyfriend."
She pulled a horrified face and said "Eurgh!"
I said "There's nothing wrong with boys having boyfriends. Sometimes girls like girls the same way boys like girls."
She said, "That's reeeeally weird!"
I said, "No it's not sweetheart. When two people love each other it doesn't matter if they're a boy or girl, does it? If someone makes you happy, isn't that's all that's important?"
"Yeah... I suppose..."
"You like Tom and Jay don't don't you?"
"Yeah."
"You like your mummy's friend Dan-Dan, don't you? Because he likes boys too."
"Yeah I like him... so it's okay if a boy likes boys?"
"Of course. It doesn't change someone as a person and you shouldn't stop being their friends because of it."

I hope she understood. I answered any other questions she had and she went quiet for a while thinking about it. She's usually either eating or talking so to see her quiet is strange.

I think a lot of the problem is to do with schools. I don't know any around here that teaches about homosexual relationships when they teach about heterosexual relationships, or sometime later. Even secondary schools don't.
I think it's down to the parents if the question arises to answer it to the best of their ability and taking into account the children's age. It's difficult to explain grown up things to children because they don't have the same grasp on reality as adults.