Why do we as humans desire companionship?

[Kurokami]

Why do you think we desire relationships with others?

Quoted the only bit I really read, sorry. (I'll get back to the rest later)

We're programmed to seek companionship because without it we wouldn't be alive to discuss it right now.

 

[Tokzic]

I'm twenty years old, and I just got into my first relationship this summer.

I have never, ever felt the desire to be in a relationship with anyone until I met this girl, and honestly? This doesn't change my perspective. I am perfectly happy on my own. Sure, life with someone else is fun too, but you have to realize that intelligence transcends our evolutionary functions. While you may feel the need to be with another person, it's worth considering that you may be more fulfilled through other pursuits.

 

[Snork Maiden]

It's nice to wake up next to someone.

Otherwise...

I'm twenty years old, and I just got into my first relationship this summer.

I have never, ever felt the desire to be in a relationship with anyone until I met this girl, and honestly? This doesn't change my perspective. I am perfectly happy on my own. Sure, life with someone else is fun too, but you have to realize that intelligence transcends our evolutionary functions. While you may feel the need to be with another person, it's worth considering that you may be more fulfilled through other pursuits.

this. Sex is good and all, but I've only ever really *liked* two people enough that I'd consider having any kind of serious relationship with them.

 

[T3h Camp3r T3rr0r1st]

because we are WEAK!!!!!!

no seriously, if we go crazy after a week of loneliness, we deserve to be killed quite frankly

 

[Animated Rope]

Whether or not we are pack animals with deep seated drives to find companionship, other people still provide a lot of benefits (and some drawbacks, of course).

 

[Biosophilogical]

I could give you the biological reason of 'social creatures' but that is boring. Rather, I prefer to think that we seek companionship so that we can feel like normal people. We do this by gaining the acceptance of others, the only problem though, is that most people lie about who they are to some extent, so people aren't really being accepted, but rather, they are affirming their position as an excellent real-life actor.

...

So basically so we can go 'Well at least I'm not some freak of nature'.

Just to add my own bit, I love spending time by myself, it's my time to be stupid and silly and not have to worry about other people's opinion of me. On the other hand, I also enjoy other's company because the people I choose to spend time with are either silly like myself OR are great to bounce ideas round with. As for the death-bed thing, I would love to be left alone with a giant bag full of chocolate and pancakes and pie (and other goodies), a massive bottle of orange juice and a speaker system with all my favourite songs on it ... and a T.V. with all my favourite movies on the highest definition system currently out.

 

[Adzma]

In all honesty though, the mind can find ways to cope with not having social interaction but having friends and family that you communicate and interact with is much better stimulation and keeps you mentally healthy.

Ah don't get me wrong, I have a large group of really great friends, and am by no means a loner. The fact is this was all spurred on because a couple of them noticed that I never turned to others with problems, I always go off by myself and sort it out alone and they were concerned. I told them not to worry as it's just how I have always handled things. I don't believe in relying on others with my own problems when they have more important things they should put first, but by the same token I'm always there for when others need my help. I'm weird that way.

This is not what you are looking for. It is more or less what you are looking for in the long run (though a pretty pathetic way of putting it) but in the meantime you are looking for people who might fit that mould but for all intents and purposes are practise at getting on with other people in the relationship way.

It may not have been clear but my meaning behind that statement was in fact in the long run, further down life's track. It's just for now I've never experienced the connection shared between two people, thus prompting this discussion.

 

[Radelaide]

From a primal need to breed which has eventually connected to something on our emotional basis for a physical relationship.

For friendships and things: humans instinctively want to be one of the pack. So we create packs (friends, family) and associate things with them that make us feel better. Humans as a species don't want to be alone, or feel lonely.

 

[Tonimata]

I've seen many relationship related threads on these boards in my short time here and the other day it got me thinking. I'm 18 and have never been in a relationship and some of you may know that I'm quite bitter on the subject. Now the fact is that like any person I don't like the idea of living out my years alone, I want to someday find someone who as they say, completes me.

Anyway, I started wondering to myself why I have this desire, I mean for 18 years now I've done everything alone; I solve my own problems away from others in solitude. I find myself asking why I want companionship when I can manage myself as I am now, it can't simply be that age old argument of "It's in your nature to reproduce." I think about death and realise that when I die, I want to be by myself and not surrounded by family and friends. I want to be remembered as the person I lived as, not that person I died as. I want to die in solitude comforted by my own mind like a story coming full circle and tying the ending to the beginning. I suppose my point is that I don't know if I truely want a meaningful relationship with someone, or if it's simply the horny primate inside me wanting to make miniature versions of itself. I feel that if it was up to my mind alone, I wouldn't want a relationship with another person, but it's too hard to draw such a conclusion.

So my main question comes back to the thread's title. Why do you think we desire relationships with others?

I don't want, or need relationships. I'm in a pretty similar situation to you, I've never had a relation, and as far as I have come in life (pretty far, mind), I have realized two things: Other people simply slow me down and/or fuck my plans up, and that I'm perfectly capable alone. Although I do agree that sometimes company is nice, you have to be very careful with whom you choose, and make sure that you're entirely happy with that person and viceversa. Fortunately enough, having been alone all our lives, we will most probably be more than ready to carry out a succesful relationship than all those bratty kids that start wanting to reproduce at the age of 13 (sick). But yeah, my advice? Don't let others pull you down. You'll find that, if you choose the wrong person, at the wrong time of your life, that person will act as a prohibition to many things you enjoy. Aside of that, and in order to satisfy primary impulses, choose one: whores or masturbation.

I am a bitter, unlikeable person, and I will die alone and unloved? Yes. OH YES.
Aside of that, I dedicate my time to be awesome

 

[good_omen]

Personally, I like having someone who I can be myself with. Not just a friend, but someone who you feel connected to. As humans, I think we seek this out in others. A connection to them that makes you feel... 'special' I think is the right word.

 

[Chris0132]

Because if nobody wants to go near other people we don't procreate and the species dies out, it's beneficial for people to want to protect each other and stay in groups and feel attraction to each other. Regardless of what you do to suppress it it most certainly IS in your nature to want companionship. You can consciously avoid it but you will unconsciously desire it, unless you have some sort of mental disorder like sociopathy.

Personally I just go with what feels right, if I want to talk to someone I will, if I don't I won't, it's up to me to decide what I want to do with my life and what I mainly want to do is not have to constantly rationalise everything I do according to some arbitrary moral system, so I don't.

Thinking. Literally.

When alone, we begin to think far too much for our own good. Things that we normally ignore start coming to the forefront, and will more than likely drive a person crazy through realization of their own hypocrisy on certain subjects, or aggravate them to no end when they cannot answer questions they have about themselves.

I solved that by realising that I'm the only person who knows or cares about that hypocrisy so I can therefore just stop caring about it and stop agonising over it.

I think it's a good system, if ever I find myself stewing over some conflict of philosophies or morals I can just accept both as right. It also means I can see lots of alternate points of view because I don't have to adhere to any one philosophy. If you can do the same it might help a lot of problems people have with introspection.

 

[Guitar Gamer]

you need them otherwise you'll end up like ME
DUN DUN DUUUUUN!

 

[C117]

It's in the DNA. We seek members to our "flock" and a possible mate, so that we can ensure our own survival.