Why does death change public opinion so drastically?

[Colour Scientist]

To set the context of this question I must include a short story.

A guy who lived in the same town as me, although I've never met him in person, committed suicide last Friday. He had a physical defect which had made his face slightly deformed but as far as anyone knew he was mentally sound and, as a result, he was victim to more than his fair share of bullying. About a year before his death he had made some cringey YouTube videos, made remarks to people that were entirely uncalled for and was generally regarded as an annoying asshole by those who told me about him.
However, now that he has taken his own life, most people seem to remember themselves being his best friend, even those who are guilty of bullying him when he was alive. Now, I didn't know the guy personally so his passing doesn't affect me emotionally but I'm not going to pretend we were besties just because he has passed away.

A similar incident occurred last year when a group of local teenagers crashed and died (in a stolen car). When they had been alive they caused nothing but trouble and one of them had tried to stab a friend of mine over nothing. Yet, after their deaths the newspaper referred to the driver as a 'silent hero'.

So why do you think people feel the need to do this?
It happens all of the time, with public figures and at a more local level.
Discuss and whatnot.

 

[Thaluikhain]

It's seen as unfair to criticise the dead, as they can't defend themselves. It's also seen to be disrespectful to the family who are dealing with the grief.

But yeah, it's very annoying.

 

[J-dog42]

Yea I think it's that whole, have respect for the dead, thing. People don't want to be remembered as the person who tormented the crap out of the dead guy. They probably just want to look good in the eyes of other people.

 

[kortin]

Respect for the dead buddy. No matter how horrible they were in life, always respect the dead(there may be a few exceptions to this rule though...).

edit: I don't mean that you should act like they were a saint if they weren't. Just respect their passing and let the people who knew them and loved them do what they want. Don't be an ass and go up to them and be like "This guy as a complete jackass, why are you guys acting like he was a saint?" because that's just generally rude.

 

[Layz92]

Second day in a row I've had to link this...

Spoiler: Quite NSFW

Sums it up pretty well.

It is probably because at the time saying you didn't like them sounds tantamount to saying you are happy with them being dead, not quite true but it gets that sought of connotation in that setting.

 

[aba1]

Same thing happened at my old highschool a two hoodlems get into a fight one gets stabed and dies suddenly my old highschool is a huge crime school the kid who died was a hero and everybody was his best friend.... meanwhile in reality the kids were getting suspended all the time, it was the first crime to ever be commited at the school I mean like crimes and vandalism was not even a concern and sure the kid had friends but from what my little sister was telling me everybody seemed to have been so close to him supposidly she was so embarssed of the school so am I a little.

not even a week later at college a kid did a documentry on school violence the second he mentioed the title I said ohhh common people stared at me then turned back first shot was of my old highschool and I was like thats why n facepalmed

 

[Lord Mountbatten Reborn]

Well even though yes, I did die and got a lot of good praise, if I died again I would want them, in their eulogies, to say what a bastard I was. Everyone who dies on the news seems to have been great.

 

[MrShadowzs]

Maybe because everyone felt like an asshole making fun of that guy and now that he's dead they don't have anyway to make it up to him so they act like they were his friend

 

[Hugums]

It's that "respect for the dead" mentality. I don't understand it personally, i like to remember the dead as they were in life. If they were dicks then I'll, metaphorically, spit on their graves. But if they were my best pal i'd be the one jumping on the coffin as it is lowered into the ground shouting "DON'T PUT HIM IN THERE!"

Now if you'll excuse me i have to go to a funeral... Sad really, the guy was like a second father to me.

 

[bdcjacko]

Sometimes death is the best career move.

 

[Snowy Rainbow]

A guy was picked on for being deformed, to the point of driving him to committing suicide after making negative remarks and you wonder why people consider him a dick?

Your perspective is all wrong here. He lashed out because no one was there to love him. If people offer nothing but hate, they get nothing but hate back. Makes me sick.

 

[Colour Scientist]

A guy was picked on for being deformed, to the point of driving him to committing suicide after making negative remarks and you wonder why people consider him a dick?

Your perspective is all wrong here. He lashed out because no one was there to love him. If people offer nothing but hate, they get nothing but hate back. Makes me sick.

No, I get that, my point is that those same people now pretend to have been his friend. Those who bullied him and those who considered him an asshole.

 

[OldGus]

People have a habit of confusing love and adoration with respect. Yes, you should respect your fellow human beings, even in death. Hell, you should show a little respect for anyone in death. That being said, you don't have to lie about what kind of person they were in life, or about your attachment to them. All you have to do is realize there are some people they left behind that do love them, and that those people might get a little pissed about someone spitting on their grave. I mean, is it really that hard to wish peace in death to everyone, even people you hate, and especially for people who didn't find peace in life?

 

[Sexual Harassment Panda]

I would imagine it's self delusion to alleviate the guilt of making another persons life shitty to the point where they couldn't bear it any longer.

As for the 2nd example, there's some info missing there. But there isn't anything to gain from slagging off dead kids, so why bother?

I think people are generally humbled by such blatent reminders that they are in fact mortal.

 

[Snowy Rainbow]

A guy was picked on for being deformed, to the point of driving him to committing suicide after making negative remarks and you wonder why people consider him a dick?

Your perspective is all wrong here. He lashed out because no one was there to love him. If people offer nothing but hate, they get nothing but hate back. Makes me sick.

No, I get that, my point is that those same people now pretend to have been his friend. Those who bullied him and those who considered him an asshole.

The tone of the OP suggests you also consider him to be an asshole for their words on Youtube.

 

[Colour Scientist]

A guy was picked on for being deformed, to the point of driving him to committing suicide after making negative remarks and you wonder why people consider him a dick?

Your perspective is all wrong here. He lashed out because no one was there to love him. If people offer nothing but hate, they get nothing but hate back. Makes me sick.

No, I get that, my point is that those same people now pretend to have been his friend. Those who bullied him and those who considered him an asshole.

The tone of the OP suggests you also consider him to be an asshole for their words on Youtube.

...although I've never met him in person... and was generally regarded as an annoying asshole by those who told me about him.

I never met the guy, I have no opinion of him either way, I just put down the opinions of other people.

 

[Gaderael]

Second day in a row I've had to link this...

Spoiler: Quite NSFW

Sums it up pretty well.

It is probably because at the time saying you didn't like them sounds tantamount to saying you are happy with them being dead, not quite true but it gets that sought of connotation in that setting.

Oh that was awesome.

I have to add this as well:

Spoiler: Also NSFW

There are celebrities who have passed away and I said that were huge assholes, or fuckwads, and that I couldn't care laess that they were gone, and that it was a crock how the media was calling them these great people, when only a couple of weeks priorthey would be going calling these people down to the dirt. I still get flack for it, but I don't care. I say it is more disrespectful to the person to make them out to be something they never were.

 

[LongAndShort]

Because it's poor form to say "Yeah, he/she was a massive dickhead." And we try to remember ourselves in as good a light as possible, or hope to God people will treat us with the same respect we treated the dead when we're being lowered into the ground. Still, I know what you mean.

Some shit really annoys me. I recall a few years back some idiot got shot while trying to rob an Armaguard truck (armoured cars used by the banks). For the next week the newspapers were filled with his family and friends telling us what a sweet kid he was and how he never hurt anyone and a whole heap of other shit, and said how they were gathering around the dead guy. This guy had robbed people at gunpoint. I don't care if he never hurt anyone, the threat was there. My mates were honestly surprised at how much this pissed me off, and I was even more pissed at the fact they didn't understand my rage. Bit of a rant, so I'll stop now.