Why I hate Nintendo: A gaming company review.

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jdnoth

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Sep 3, 2008
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Edit, 20th of June 2010.
My forum replies tell me that every few months someone bumps this filthy screed out of oblivion. I thought it had dropped off the forums altogether. But now I'm aware it still sits in the escapist toilet like a big shit, I have a few things to amend.

Oh lord, how old was I when I wrote this, 16? Yes, 16. If I could take back everything I did, said and wrote when I was 16 I would. Obviously I can't so I'll just say sorry. Sorry. This was bad and I feel bad. What's more, after a quick re-read I've noticed that the whole crux of my argument, that Nintendo turned to gimmicks after falling behind in hardware, was total balls. PS3 level hardware was always available to Nintendo, but they opted to create a cheap, lightweight console instead, with the understanding that there was a huge, untapped well of potential gamers lying just below the surface, who didn't give a damn about pixels counts or processing speeds. And goshdarnit they certainly vindicated themselves on that point.

The Wii is balls though. Don't think I'm taking that back.

I renounce everything below this sentence.
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From a historical standpoint, Nintendo have been a critical force in shaping what gaming has become today. From the Famicon era onwards, Nintendo utilized all of the latest technological advances at their disposal to create top-tier hardware. And using this hardware, create the most innovative games of the 20th century. They were the first to create a discrete hand-held gaming device capable of running story-length, full colour games, and gave a home to unknown series such as Final Fantasy, Super Mario World, Metroid, and many others. It is probably fair to say that Microsoft and Sony owe an awful lot to the early technological and creative advancements of Nintendo.

The decline of Nintendo as far as a genuine innovative force goes, probably came at around the end of the Gamecube's lifespan. For the first time, Nintendo had been fully undone. With the rising popularity of gaming, two monolithic electronic giants had entered the fray. And with them they brought a whole new realm of technological innovation. Whilst retaining its edge on pure game-making innovation, Nintendo was hopelessly behind in terms of hardware specs and data input. So as Sony and Microsoft prepared to launch their state-of-the-art high definition gaming devices, Nintendo was left with few choices. They could stay true to their fans, and the path they had been on for so many years: Releasing consoles to the best of their technological ability whilst focusing on retaining a creative edge over their competitors, leaving Sony and Microsoft competing to see who can rip off Half-Life 2 the best, or they could leave their current market and fanbase behind, and try to create a market elsewhere in gaming. Not content with losing such a large chunk of their main market to Sony and Microsoft, Nintendo opted for the second option.

So now we have the two newest Nintendo consoles: The DS and the Wii. Both behind their competition in hardware specs, but performing surprisingly well as far as sales go. This is not due to innovation, contrary to what every marketing campaign for the two would have you believe. This is down to selling out. This is down to substituting your original audience of gamers for "casual-gamers" or rather, causal-"gamers". The DS and the Wii have been subject to a tidal wave of brain-training games, fitness games, cooking games, and games of other categories utterly unrelated to gaming. The purpose of which is not to please the current fans, but to bring in new ones, who wouldn't care for genuine gaming. The old titles are still there. Super Mario, Zelda etc. But thats all they are: Old titles. Not an ounce of innovation in the games themselves, just a slightly new way to play them.

An innovation is not simply bringing an already existing product (touch-screens, motion sensitive controllers) into the mainstream for the sake of feigning originality. And it isn't about playing old things in new ways. It's about creativity: Sheer ingenuity to create something previously unheard of. And Nintendo obviously aren't in that business anymore. They are in the gimmick business.
 

GloatingSwine

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I fully agree, Nintendo have completely abandoned their roots, and haven't made a decent set of playing cards in years....
 

SecretTacoNinja

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Jul 8, 2008
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Right on the money. It seems they aren't even trying anymore... If they can convince me otherwise then I will... I will kiss Reggie's ring...
 

Ardus_Virgo

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Aug 11, 2008
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jdnoth said:
The DS and the Wii have been subject to a tidal wave of brain-training games, fitness games, cooking games, and games of other categories utterly unrelated to gaming.
Including the not too well known game (Its a hit in japan) Peeing into a toilet.

Link:http://www.wiiarewasted.com/
 

Cid Silverwing

Paladin of The Light
Jul 27, 2008
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Nintendo got infected with the moneymilker virus after the GameCube expired.

Your entire review in one sentence.
 

Nazulu

They will not take our Fluids
Jun 5, 2008
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I dislike the Wii out of all the Nintendo systems the most! I was really hoping Brawl and Mario Kart would last me for years but now there is nothing really these days. Theres a whole heap of good war and assassin games on the other consoles but I'm just not into those games.

I have to admit though that the Wii shopping channel for classic games is a great idea!
 

Varchld

is drunk and disorderly.
Nov 8, 2008
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I've always disliked Nintendo. Long long ago I prefered the Sega Mega Drive/Genesis over the SNES, but Nintendo had greater marketing support and got the "trendy" vote. Then Sega slipped up with their next few consoles and crumbled. Atari also stumbled a fair bit at the time I believe.
It's the ways things seem to progress.
If Nintendo hadn't made the Wii the way it is, would they still be as strong as they are or even be around as anything more then a handheld game company?
The Gamecube failed from my point of view, what happened to make it damage the company and send it off in another direction, where were the fanboys then and why did it not work are the questions i'm interested in...but don't care enough about to look it up.
 

SimuLord

Whom Gods Annoy
Aug 20, 2008
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This is less a review and more of a rant. There needs to be more detailed exposition of Nintendo's hardware compared to its competition and the author's voice is intrusive and hectoring rather than welcoming to the reader. It's harder to write a good negative review than a good positive one, but here you seem to completely miss the point. Your title betrays the flaw in your approach: "Why I Hate Nintendo" is not a review and it doesn't set up a review. It sets up a fanboy rant, which is exactly what you deliver.

This might've worked in Gaming Discussion or Off-Topic (although the ensuing flamewar would probably attract mod attention sooner rather than later), but in User Reviews it falls way short of standard. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
 

jdnoth

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Sep 3, 2008
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SimuLord said:
This is less a review and more of a rant. There needs to be more detailed exposition of Nintendo's hardware compared to its competition and the author's voice is intrusive and hectoring rather than welcoming to the reader. It's harder to write a good negative review than a good positive one, but here you seem to completely miss the point. Your title betrays the flaw in your approach: "Why I Hate Nintendo" is not a review and it doesn't set up a review. It sets up a fanboy rant, which is exactly what you deliver.

This might've worked in Gaming Discussion or Off-Topic (although the ensuing flamewar would probably attract mod attention sooner rather than later), but in User Reviews it falls way short of standard. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
This reply is like, part satire, part trolling, and part genuine critique. Either way, I laughed.
 

hellthins

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Feb 18, 2008
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Does anyone have that little sound clip of Peewee and the group screaming? That's the only appropriate noise I can think of at the mention of EVIL, VILE CASUAL GAMING, GRARG! GENUINE GAMING! RAAAARG!

As for wanting to make money? Spoilers, they always have. That's why they're a business and not a charity.
 

GuerrillaClock

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Jul 11, 2008
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And, with a deep sigh and heavy heart, I reply in the same manner as I always do to people bitching about casual gamers.

Yes, while there are more casual games on the Wii and DS than other formats, that doesn't mean that genuine Nintendo classics don't exist. Why shouldn't casual gamers be catered for too? I can hardly get my mum a NES and a copy of Battletoads for Christmas. Nintendo identified a gap in the market for casual games and exploited it well. Good luck to them, because that's good business sense, and any company who had spotted that gap would have done exactly the same thing. This rant seems to have been based purely on the ads you've seen on the TV rather than any genuine research, which would have shown Ouendan, Phoenix Wright, Trauma Center, Hotel Dusk and a massive list that I can't be bothered to reel off again.
GloatingSwine said:
I fully agree, Nintendo have completely abandoned their roots, and haven't made a decent set of playing cards in years....
^Touche, sir...
 

jdnoth

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Sep 3, 2008
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GuerrillaClock said:
And, with a deep sigh and heavy heart, I reply in the same manner as I always do to people bitching about casual gamers.

Yes, while there are more casual games on the Wii and DS than other formats, that doesn't mean that genuine Nintendo classics don't exist. Why shouldn't casual gamers be catered for too? I can hardly get my mum a NES and a copy of Battletoads for Christmas. Nintendo identified a gap in the market for casual games and exploited it well. Good luck to them, because that's good business sense, and any company who had spotted that gap would have done exactly the same thing. This rant seems to have been based purely on the ads you've seen on the TV rather than any genuine research, which would have shown Ouendan, Phoenix Wright, Trauma Center, Hotel Dusk and a massive list that I can't be bothered to reel off again.
GloatingSwine said:
I fully agree, Nintendo have completely abandoned their roots, and haven't made a decent set of playing cards in years....
^Touche, sir...
I don't have a problem with a company trying to satisfy casual gamers. And maybe you should re-read this thread because that isn't at all what I was getting at. My problem is with selling out. When a company is continually upheld financially by long-time fans, then turns away from them to satisfy a totally different demographic just to make their wallets a little bit bigger. The main points of this thread are:
1. Nintendo sold out.
2. Nintendo are trying to present gimmicks as legitimate innovations.
I do feel that by using their legacy as a legitimate games production company to promote casual "gaming", Nintendo are somewhat bringing down the standards of gaming, but that's neither here not there.
 

Drakstern

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Jul 21, 2008
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I'm not one to bag on about 'casuals' in spite of my absolute love for difficult games, but I will say this.

The Wii is the worst system of this console generation. Not because it's got 'lower specs' or it's 'for casuals', but simply because most of the games are bad. They're mini-game collections or 'let's waggle the wiimote a lot' games.

In all Honesty though, it's the same problem the DS had at the start, back when EVERYTHING had to use the touchscreen as much as possible. However, the DS grew out of it pretty quickly. A couple of years on, and the number of games shoehorning the stylus in had dropped precipitously, and the uses of the stylus had become more fitting.

We're still not past that point with the Wii yet, and I'm not sure if we ever will be. They're too focused on 'how fun it is to shake the wiimote' so instead of getting games that could be fun without that, we're being deluged games that basically squeeze that little piece of equipment in. And here we reach the problem. The wiimote is simply not as good as it needs to be to make the Wii a really good gaming system. Yes, motion plus is coming out blah blah blah, but you should not have to buy a peripheral to make the system work the way it was supposed to in the first place.

That's not to say Sony and Microsoft are founts of innovation, but sometimes innovation comes too early, and sometimes innovation chokes itself off. The Wii may never really succeed as a 'conventional' system simply because the thing that separates it from the pack is, quite simply, a gimmick. Gimmicks are only great when they start out, but eventually they wear thin.

That said, there's still time to salvage the little system that might. If Motion Plus can finally deliver on the promises that were initially made for the Wii and if they can finally get the third parties back on board, then the Wii could fulfill all those hopes and dreams people had for it.

Otherwise, we've seen the start of a split. Systems made for people who play video games, and systems made for people who play party games.
 

GuerrillaClock

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Jul 11, 2008
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jdnoth said:
1. Nintendo sold out.
2. Nintendo are trying to present gimmicks as legitimate innovations.
I do feel that by using their legacy as a legitimate games production company to promote casual "gaming", Nintendo are somewhat bringing down the standards of gaming, but that's neither here not there.
1. Why have they sold out? They still MAKE their big franchises like Mario and Zelda, and they're still great games (not just "old titles", Mario, Zelda Metroid etc are still fantastic games in their own right with original hooks, but that's a whole other argument), so why is there such a problem with a BUSINESS catering for as wide an audience as possible with casual games? I'll say it again - BUSINESS. All businesses want to do is make money.
2. Well, what Nintendo is doing has never been produced on this kind of scale before, so yes, it is sort of an innovation. Just because the technology is already there doesn't mean it can't be used in a fresh, interesting way. If the Wii is so gimmicky, explain why Sony ripped off the motion controls at the last minute and Microsoft seems intent on going for a more casual audience too - all I see now are ads for Guitar Hero and Buzz! and this "Xbox moment" bullshit.

All companies want to make money, and they don't care about you, me or your narrow-minded view of "genuine gamers".
jdnoth said:
The purpose of which is not to please the current fans, but to bring in new ones, who wouldn't care for genuine gaming.
Can I ask, what makes you think you know what a "genuine game" is? You cannot possibly criticise Nintendo for wanting to expand their horizons.
 

GloatingSwine

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Cid SilverWing said:
Nintendo got infected with the moneymilker virus after the GameCube expired.

Your entire review in one sentence.
In other words "Company likes money, world in shock!" Fanboys whine moar on page 5.
 

CIA

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Sep 11, 2008
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jdnoth said:
GuerrillaClock said:
And, with a deep sigh and heavy heart, I reply in the same manner as I always do to people bitching about casual gamers.

Yes, while there are more casual games on the Wii and DS than other formats, that doesn't mean that genuine Nintendo classics don't exist. Why shouldn't casual gamers be catered for too? I can hardly get my mum a NES and a copy of Battletoads for Christmas. Nintendo identified a gap in the market for casual games and exploited it well. Good luck to them, because that's good business sense, and any company who had spotted that gap would have done exactly the same thing. This rant seems to have been based purely on the ads you've seen on the TV rather than any genuine research, which would have shown Ouendan, Phoenix Wright, Trauma Center, Hotel Dusk and a massive list that I can't be bothered to reel off again.
GloatingSwine said:
I fully agree, Nintendo have completely abandoned their roots, and haven't made a decent set of playing cards in years....
^Touche, sir...
I don't have a problem with a company trying to satisfy casual gamers. And maybe you should re-read this thread because that isn't at all what I was getting at. My problem is with selling out. When a company is continually upheld financially by long-time fans, then turns away from them to satisfy a totally different demographic just to make their wallets a little bit bigger. The main points of this thread are:
1. Nintendo sold out.
2. Nintendo are trying to present gimmicks as legitimate innovations.
I do feel that by using their legacy as a legitimate games production company to promote casual "gaming", Nintendo are somewhat bringing down the standards of gaming, but that's neither here not there.
Nintendo is a company, not your buddy you've known forever. They won't ever admit that they have any obligation to you because they don't care, like almost all companies.
 

CoverYourHead

High Priest of C'Thulhu
Dec 7, 2008
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All i care about from nintendo that makes me deeply depressed is the decline of The Legend of Zelda franchise, that game series was what really brought me into gaming, innovation, story, technology, art, it had it all! And now its the same dang game again and again with a graphics update, a new tree, and maybe a new item