Why I think "Gamer Girls" shouldn't hide.

[BQE]

I can't help but be curious about the kind of games a girl plays where the playerbase is so bad that she had to hide her gender. Then again I've only ever used vent on WoW so to say that I'm unfamiliar with the voicechats of other games would be an understatement.

The thing is, is that this sort of toxicity isn't limited to women. The minute you play a game (usually competitive) and somebody elects to attack you personally, any and all facts that distuinguish you from your anonymity are fair game. It doesn't matter if you are straight, gay, white, black, jewish or mormon. Antagonists will use these as fodder for personal attacks because they believe it adds more weight to the insults.

Being a girl is just much more difficult to hide than any of those other things in that list if you choose to use public voice communications.

Barring the creepy "excessively nice" people I've encountered while gaming, I think the problem is the overall toxic nature of anonymity.

 

[Exius Xavarus]

This reminds me of a funny story someone I met in a MMO told me.

He had a female character, and people inevitably asked if he was female. He started saying yes. And tons of people just gave him items, money, and other such things. That's kinda funny, and sad, all at the same time.

I remember making a female character in an MMO, in tribute to a friend of mine who'd then recently quit.

I act like myself. I never say what gender I am unless directly asked(in which case I just tell them the truth, I'm a guy(which was weird because nobody EVER questioned my gender with a male character)) and never attempt to use my female character for any of the perks that being a female would normally net.

I was constantly accused of being a lesbian because I liked females, constantly told that I should go back to the kitchen, constantly told I should quit trying to be a ""gamer girl" that uses games to get attention," constantly asked out on dates or asked for pictures of my boobs/butt/vagina and hated on when I refused. Oh, and I was constantly kicked out because I was an "incompetent girl that sucked at the game(which was funny because I didn't even have the chance to prove otherwise)."

It was after that point that I fully understood precisely why she no longer wanted to play the game. And I no longer had any desire to bring her back to it(I missed her, but didn't want to subject her to idiots for my sake).

 

[BQE]

This reminds me of a funny story someone I met in a MMO told me.

He had a female character, and people inevitably asked if he was female. He started saying yes. And tons of people just gave him items, money, and other such things. That's kinda funny, and sad, all at the same time.

I remember making a female character in an MMO, in tribute to a friend of mine who'd then recently quit.

I act like myself. I never say what gender I am unless directly asked(in which case I just tell them the truth, I'm a guy(which was weird because nobody EVER questioned my gender with a male character)) and never attempt to use my female character for any of the perks that being a female would normally net.

I was constantly accused of being a lesbian because I liked females, constantly told that I should go back to the kitchen, constantly told I should quit trying to be a ""gamer girl" that uses games to get attention," constantly asked out on dates or asked for pictures of my boobs/butt/vagina and hated on when I refused. Oh, and I was constantly kicked out because I was an "incompetent girl that sucked at the game(which was funny because I didn't even have the chance to prove otherwise)."

It was after that point that I fully understood precisely why she no longer wanted to play the game. And I no longer had any desire to bring her back to it(I missed her, but didn't want to subject her to idiots for my sake).

Would you mind revealing which MMO this was?

 

[Vegosiux]

Right, this thread went south didn't it.

I think I'll just stick to my singleplayer games, since there aren't any toes I want to step on, and honestly, it's no fun playing in any community if there's no way to not get caught in the vitriol crossfire.

I'm just going to let the boys have their quaint little rites of passage and play with the people I trust are fun to play with.

Oh and if I had a cent for every time my mother allegedly slept with some snot-nosed misfit on the internet, I could buy out Bill Gates by now.

 

[CriticalMiss]

I'm certainly not hiding, I just don't see why it is a big deal to be a girl who plays games. I would sooner identify myself as a 'gamer' than a 'girl gamer'. Oh and 'fake gamer girls' definitely do exist, one of my friends bought a Triforce T-shirt and doesn't know that the main character is called Link and not Zelda. She has also not played any Zelda games but still says that Ocarina of Time is one of the best N64 titles if not one of the best RPGs in history.

Thats bullshit. I brought a batman shirt because it was cheap and looked nice, does that make me a "fake" comic book fan? if you pretend to like video games but you dont THEN you are fake, but it shouldnt be a label attached to females specifically, everyone lies to impress people sometimes.

If you bought a Batman shirt, then said you are a Batman fan despite having never read any Batman comics, watched any Batman TV shows/movies or played any Batman games and thought Batman was the one who does a lot of Butler-like things then you would be a fake Batman fan. Maybe you read other comics, so I will concede that you aren't a fake comic book fan. And I agree that it is something that both sexes can do, my example happened to be female. I don't know any fake male gamers so I have no personal evidence of their existence besides blurry amateur photography and footprints in the Pacific Northwest. But one day...one day...

 

[Exius Xavarus]

Would you mind revealing which MMO this was?

MapleStory. I didn't think it was all that bad, when I played my normal male characters. But everything flipped as soon as my character was female. Before I quit, myself, I had two female friends quit because they were fed up with the childish and immature behavior they were treated with.

 

[Saltyk]

This reminds me of a funny story someone I met in a MMO told me.

He had a female character, and people inevitably asked if he was female. He started saying yes. And tons of people just gave him items, money, and other such things. That's kinda funny, and sad, all at the same time.

I remember making a female character in an MMO, in tribute to a friend of mine who'd then recently quit.

I act like myself. I never say what gender I am unless directly asked(in which case I just tell them the truth, I'm a guy(which was weird because nobody EVER questioned my gender with a male character)) and never attempt to use my female character for any of the perks that being a female would normally net.

I was constantly accused of being a lesbian because I liked females, constantly told that I should go back to the kitchen, constantly told I should quit trying to be a ""gamer girl" that uses games to get attention," constantly asked out on dates or asked for pictures of my boobs/butt/vagina and hated on when I refused. Oh, and I was constantly kicked out because I was an "incompetent girl that sucked at the game(which was funny because I didn't even have the chance to prove otherwise)."

It was after that point that I fully understood precisely why she no longer wanted to play the game. And I no longer had any desire to bring her back to it(I missed her, but didn't want to subject her to idiots for my sake).

Sadly, I am not surprised.

I've seen plenty of such nonsense myself. Not just in MMOs. Generally, any group I was in that included a girl, she was a part of the group. Just another person. Worst case, there were some jokes in good fun. But they were respected by the group at large. Kinda sad that it's "special" enough that I felt a need to mention it.

I never asked whether the person I mentioned was ever harassed. I don't recall spending much time with them. But, I know he played a male character, so I would imagine there was some reason for it.

Hell, I've played female characters and been asked if I was a female. I've never had anyone assume my sex, though. And I have no shortage of female characters that I have played in MMOs. Probably about a third of my characters have been female, actually. Odd when I think about it.

 

[sweetylnumb]

I'm certainly not hiding, I just don't see why it is a big deal to be a girl who plays games. I would sooner identify myself as a 'gamer' than a 'girl gamer'. Oh and 'fake gamer girls' definitely do exist, one of my friends bought a Triforce T-shirt and doesn't know that the main character is called Link and not Zelda. She has also not played any Zelda games but still says that Ocarina of Time is one of the best N64 titles if not one of the best RPGs in history.

Thats bullshit. I brought a batman shirt because it was cheap and looked nice, does that make me a "fake" comic book fan? if you pretend to like video games but you dont THEN you are fake, but it shouldnt be a label attached to females specifically, everyone lies to impress people sometimes.

If you bought a Batman shirt, then said you are a Batman fan despite having never read any Batman comics, watched any Batman TV shows/movies or played any Batman games and thought Batman was the one who does a lot of Butler-like things then you would be a fake Batman fan. Maybe you read other comics, so I will concede that you aren't a fake comic book fan. And I agree that it is something that both sexes can do, my example happened to be female. I don't know any fake male gamers so I have no personal evidence of their existence besides blurry amateur photography and footprints in the Pacific Northwest. But one day...one day...

Lets just call them "fake gamers" and i'll be happier..




Soon...

 

[Something Amyss]

Maybe, but I have played online games with my sister and her friends and when guys act like morons and send messages like "Show me yur tits!1" We just send back insulting messages and be creative as possible.

Good for you? I'm not sure what else to say except that I'm glad your sister has been so fortunate?

 

['Record Stops.']

It's funny, at my old high school in my home room alone, I knew a girl all my time there who was a big Nintendo fan and who played Mario games constantly, in the class right over I knew two girls who were really huge Pokémon fans and one of whom was a big Monster Ranchers fan, so I am aware that girl gamers exist, and I've never found any reason to believe they don't.

My general feelings on this is that if a Girl gamer doesn't want to tell people she's a gamer, she probably has good reason not to, considering how often harassment, abusive bullying, sexism, and general all around misogynistic crap gets thrown at them for being one.

 

[Exius Xavarus]

Sadly, I am not surprised.

I've seen plenty of such nonsense myself. Not just in MMOs. Generally, any group I was in that included a girl, she was a part of the group. Just another person. Worst case, there were some jokes in good fun. But they were respected by the group at large. Kinda sad that it's "special" enough that I felt a need to mention it.

I never asked whether the person I mentioned was ever harassed. I don't recall spending much time with them. But, I know he played a male character, so I would imagine there was some reason for it.

Hell, I've played female characters and been asked if I was a female. I've never had anyone assume my sex, though. And I have no shortage of female characters that I have played in MMOs. Probably about a third of my characters have been female, actually. Odd when I think about it.

What's sad is that the whole girls in games bit is "special" and even needs to be addressed in the first place.

"Yeah, I play games and I'm a girl!" Cool, good for you.

"One of our members are a girl!" Cool, good for her.

"Hah, you just got beat by a girl!" Cool, I lost to a girl.

I just don't see why being a girl is special at all in gaming, as if it makes her better or worse than any of the guys.

There's only one thing I care about when I game with you: How much fun you are to game with.

Black, white, Asian, Indian, male, female, it's all the same in the game world. The only thing that should truly matter is your ability.

 

[Saltyk]

Sadly, I am not surprised.

I've seen plenty of such nonsense myself. Not just in MMOs. Generally, any group I was in that included a girl, she was a part of the group. Just another person. Worst case, there were some jokes in good fun. But they were respected by the group at large. Kinda sad that it's "special" enough that I felt a need to mention it.

I never asked whether the person I mentioned was ever harassed. I don't recall spending much time with them. But, I know he played a male character, so I would imagine there was some reason for it.

Hell, I've played female characters and been asked if I was a female. I've never had anyone assume my sex, though. And I have no shortage of female characters that I have played in MMOs. Probably about a third of my characters have been female, actually. Odd when I think about it.

What's sad is that the whole girls in games bit is "special" and even needs to be addressed in the first place.

"Yeah, I play games and I'm a girl!" Cool, good for you.

"One of our members are a girl!" Cool, good for her.

"Hah, you just got beat by a girl!" Cool, I lost to a girl.

I just don't see why being a girl is special at all in gaming, as if it makes her better or worse than any of the guys.

There's only one thing I care about when I game with you: How much fun you are to game with.

Black, white, Asian, Indian, male, female, it's all the same in the game world. The only thing that should truly matter is your ability.

I think you realize this, but I meant that it was sad that the fact that the groups that I have been in treated female members with respect was "special". Considering what I have read so far, it doesn't seem like a common trait.


Agreed. Ability and attitude are what's important. Make me laugh, tell me where the enemies are, and contribute. That's all that matters. Not your politics, race, religion, or anything else. Think I saw a Youtube video stating this at some point. Might have been one of those vids rebutting Anita Sarkeesian.

 

[wulf3n]

snip

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There's something about the act of discussing the regressive nature of a single discriminatory aspect of an act that is solely about discrimination that I find amusing.

In essence - "We shall discriminate against all equally".

 

[Something Amyss]

Oh and if I had a cent for every time my mother allegedly slept with some snot-nosed misfit on the internet, I could buy out Bill Gates by now.

Could you also hire an enforcement team that actually enforces policies on harassment and the like?

That would be nice.

Hell, I've played female characters and been asked if I was a female. I've never had anyone assume my sex, though. And I have no shortage of female characters that I have played in MMOs. Probably about a third of my characters have been female, actually. Odd when I think about it.

Since I play almost exclusively as a woman when I have the choice, I get a split response. When I use the same name as my Escapist username, people assume male. When I use something a little more ambiguous, people assume female. Which is weird to me, because 99% of the female characters I see online are played by males (assuming I find out the gender of the user, that is), but that could just be my experience.

Lets just call them "fake gamers" and i'll be happier..


Soon...

The biggest problem is that this only masks the issue at hand, since even "fake gamer" and "fake geek" are rarely leveled at men in the same circumstances. I mean, dropping the "girl" part is nice, but as long as women are held to a different standard where they have to prove themselves and men don't, there's an underlying problem.

I mean, I agree with the post you're responding to in most senses: yes, it's annoying when someone claims to be a fan of something but hasn't seen anything regarding it, but in the nerd domain it tends to be incredibly lopsided.

 

[Exius Xavarus]

I think you realize this, but I meant that it was sad that the fact that the groups that I have been in treated female members with respect was "special". Considering what I have read so far, it doesn't seem like a common trait.

Agreed. Ability and attitude are what's important. Make me laugh, tell me where the enemies are, and contribute. That's all that matters. Not your politics, race, religion, or anything else. Think I saw a Youtube video stating this at some point. Might have been one of those vids rebutting Anita Sarkeesian.

Yes, I realized. I was just offering my opinion on the 'girls in games' bit as a whole.

I never really bothered with any of the nonsense surrounding Sarkeesian. I give two chances for something to be interested, to me. Sarkeesian failed to be interesting both times, so I typically ignore her videos and move on.

[sub][sub]Truth be told, I wish I'd ignored her from the start, now. YouTube keeps going OH, WATCHED ONE OF HER VIDEOS? HERE'S ALL HER VIDEOS FOR YOU TO WATCH! No, YouTube. I don't want to watch her videos. Please stop recommending them to me. They're taking up space that could be used for something I actually like.[/sub][/sub]

 

[Anthony Corrigan]

Sadly, I am not surprised.

I've seen plenty of such nonsense myself. Not just in MMOs. Generally, any group I was in that included a girl, she was a part of the group. Just another person. Worst case, there were some jokes in good fun. But they were respected by the group at large. Kinda sad that it's "special" enough that I felt a need to mention it.

I never asked whether the person I mentioned was ever harassed. I don't recall spending much time with them. But, I know he played a male character, so I would imagine there was some reason for it.

Hell, I've played female characters and been asked if I was a female. I've never had anyone assume my sex, though. And I have no shortage of female characters that I have played in MMOs. Probably about a third of my characters have been female, actually. Odd when I think about it.

What's sad is that the whole girls in games bit is "special" and even needs to be addressed in the first place.

"Yeah, I play games and I'm a girl!" Cool, good for you.

"One of our members are a girl!" Cool, good for her.

"Hah, you just got beat by a girl!" Cool, I lost to a girl.

I just don't see why being a girl is special at all in gaming, as if it makes her better or worse than any of the guys.

There's only one thing I care about when I game with you: How much fun you are to game with.

Black, white, Asian, Indian, male, female, it's all the same in the game world. The only thing that should truly matter is your ability.

Yes and no

There are valid reasons for breaking down demographics and than includes male and female. If you are trying to target a game to a specific demographic because they are under represented and it will make you money that's not wrong. That being said I'm going to argue against that position. As I said before when the guy who made Two souls and Heavy Rain came out and said basically "men are dumb they just will sit in front of TV for hours shooting something" that pissed me off because I play a game for its story, no story? very little chance your game will hold me. The same when his next comment was "oh women on the other hand have to be engaged emotionally, they cant play shooters", again compleatly sexist and wrong. I know more female COD players than I do guys and the study I posted before shows that for Modern warfare at least on PC, its not 1 or 2% women, its 30% which is significant.

 

[Something Amyss]

Not sure how she is fortunate...

You're downplaying it as if it's not a problem to her. And if not, she is fortunate.

So yeah, you come off as trivialising it and the experience at large.

At best, this comes off as a variant of "I deal with it, so should you." And that's still callous at best.