Why I think the "friend zone" is a load of crap.

[Sidiron]

-Rolls his eyes and lets out an exasperated sigh-

If you ask me, which no-one ever will (and probably for good reason), these recurring threads about "friendzones", "nice guys" and all the other rejection phenomena out there are becoming rather boring and a wee bit maudling.
Last I looked this was, by and large, a nerd site/forum; us nerds know we are useless when it comes to relationships and that's why there is an air of resignation. This endless whining and whinging is more reminicent of my (short) time spent on emo sites.

Humans are complex and will find more and more inventive ways of categorising, and more importantly polarising, the nuances of behaviour instead of just realising we are all odd and different.

Generalising rant over.

EDIT: Would like to offer kudos to Elate, good point well made.

 

[zehydra]

Point number 3 is bullshit. I've done it.

 

[Carnagath]

I'm several years older than the OP, but I agree with her, and personally cannot be friends with girls that I am attracted to, because sooner or later I will let them know and if they do not respond it kinda all ends there, together with the friendship. It doesn't mean that I don't like them anymore just because they won't sleep with me, it's just that after that fact has been revealed I feel bad about myself when I'm around them, and when you are with friends you are supposed to feel comfortable I think. So, yeah, the "Let's just be friends" thing unfortunately does not work for me, I know that others don't mind though and that's fine too.

 

[SuperSamio64]

You know what? Thank you. Most other 'friend zone' threads I've seen on here haven't exactly been encouraging on the whole 'asking out a female friend' front; usually making me feel like a massive creep (for not telling her how I feel straight away) or that I'm always going to fail miserably.

 

[AngleWyrm]

If you've been on the Internet for more than a few hours, I'm sure you've probably heard something about this mysterious "friend zone" so many guys apparently get trapped in.

Guys "get trapped in"?

You define the amount of sex in a relationship from the time you meet. That's when the clock starts ticking. You can lie to yourself about "changing your mind later," but it's still clearly defined.

 

[Robert Ewing]

To be perfectly honest, the only reason you've been confined to the friend zone, is because you CLEARLY like her, and she not so clearly doesn't like you.

There is no other logical explanation. The only one that comes close is that she can't decide between two males. But the friend zone in that respect isn't necessary at all.

The friend zone is a bullshit female social tactic intended to snub unwanted male attention quickly and painlessly and most importantly, efficiently. (For them and related parties anyway.)

But they surely must know that it destroys men's souls...

 

[Strain42]

Also, here's a bit of "girl code"

The fact that there's a "code" at all is about 95% of the problem. There shouldn't be a code. Just say stuff flat out. If I decide to honestly tell a woman how I feel and ask her out, she could at least respect me enough to be just as honest.

It is not asking a lot to hear the words "No, sorry. I just don't have those types of feelings for you."

Or hell, you can even leave out the "sorry" since that's usually not true, anyways (sorry, couldn't resist. I know that made me sound bitter)

Sometimes a friendship gets let go if there's nothing there, but a good one can stick around, even if you have romantic feelings. Truth be told, I've actually reverse friendzoned a few girls before (meaning I asked them out a few times, they said no, we stayed friends and then years later they asked me out and I said no because I did just see them as friends at that point)

 

[Vault101]

Also, here's a bit of "girl code"

The fact that there's a "code" at all is about 95% of the problem. There shouldn't be a code. Just say stuff flat out. If I decide to honestly tell a woman how I feel and ask her out, she could at least respect me enough to be just as honest.

It is not asking a lot to hear the words "No, sorry. I just don't have those types of feelings for you."

Or hell, you can even leave out the "sorry" since that's usually not true, anyways (sorry, couldn't resist. I know that made me sound bitter)

Sometimes a friendship gets let go if there's nothing there, but a good one can stick around, even if you have romantic feelings. Truth be told, I've actually reverse friendzoned a few girls before (meaning I asked them out a few times, they said no, we stayed friends and then years later they asked me out and I said no because I did just see them as friends at that point)

there isnt a code...if there is Im not aware of it..because bullshit like that is..well its bullshit

whats wrong with "sorry"?, it seems the most deluded "nice guy/freind zone" types dont understand its a two way street, that if they "wuv a girl really really alot!" then they are supsoed to be together and fly away on a unicorn to the kingdon of far far away....her feelings/thoughts be damned (yeah, I sound mean I know)

I imagine the "sorry" is "Im sorry this hurts you", if a guy professes his undying love for me but I dont love him back can I not be sorry that it hurts him to be honest with him?

 

[cookingwithrage]

Can we stop beating a dead horse already? Its time we put the damn thing into the ground already.