I'm a 23-year-old male, and I'm excited to grow old.
I used to be afraid of getting old, especially visiting my grandparents who seemed to have nothing to do. When my grandfather died and grandmother moved into a rest home, she was miserable about the idea. She seemed to warm up to it, but I thought
"Man, it's going to be hard when I'm old moving away from my house where all my things-that-make-old-people-happy are."
It's hard to put that thought into words, but y'know what I mean.
Then one day as I was walking down the hall I passed a room, and heard the similar language of Sims emanating from the room. I peered in, and found an old man playing The Sims 3 on what appeared to be a quite bitchin' gaming computer. He invited me in, and I watched him play. He said his grandson gave him his old computer and he was enjoying playing games. I told him about Team Fortress 2 and he said he'd ask his grandson about it.
A week later, sure enough.
Then it hit me.
Old folks homes in 50 years will come standard with high-speed internet and LAN because that's what retirees will want to be doing.
It was a massive revelation. I'm eating and exercising better, and am doing my damnedest to be financially successful throughout my adult life, because when I retire I'm going to play online games all day, every day and be expected to do so.
I love LAN parties, so imagine doing that every day, and even get a fuckin' bedpan put in so I don't ever have to get up, or even replace it myself.
Nurse bringing me my meals, and my family won't even feel guilty about not visiting or like it's a chore, because grandpa's got Battlefield 25 to keep him happy.
Don't be depressed about getting old, gamers. We have SO MUCH to look forward to.
I used to be afraid of getting old, especially visiting my grandparents who seemed to have nothing to do. When my grandfather died and grandmother moved into a rest home, she was miserable about the idea. She seemed to warm up to it, but I thought
"Man, it's going to be hard when I'm old moving away from my house where all my things-that-make-old-people-happy are."
It's hard to put that thought into words, but y'know what I mean.
Then one day as I was walking down the hall I passed a room, and heard the similar language of Sims emanating from the room. I peered in, and found an old man playing The Sims 3 on what appeared to be a quite bitchin' gaming computer. He invited me in, and I watched him play. He said his grandson gave him his old computer and he was enjoying playing games. I told him about Team Fortress 2 and he said he'd ask his grandson about it.
A week later, sure enough.
Then it hit me.
Old folks homes in 50 years will come standard with high-speed internet and LAN because that's what retirees will want to be doing.
It was a massive revelation. I'm eating and exercising better, and am doing my damnedest to be financially successful throughout my adult life, because when I retire I'm going to play online games all day, every day and be expected to do so.
I love LAN parties, so imagine doing that every day, and even get a fuckin' bedpan put in so I don't ever have to get up, or even replace it myself.
Nurse bringing me my meals, and my family won't even feel guilty about not visiting or like it's a chore, because grandpa's got Battlefield 25 to keep him happy.
Don't be depressed about getting old, gamers. We have SO MUCH to look forward to.
