Why is bullying still an issue?

[DanielDeFig]

I changed schools regularly, and I can tell you, most of them handle bullying by pretending it doesn't happen/it's not their responsibility.

I was actually bullied to a point where I had to go back to Sweden and finish high school at a boarding school. The bullying was thankfully not physical (I've heard of it, but it's never happened to me), but being ostricized by your entire class is not good for the psyche.

At my new school, I learned that Sweden has taken this problem very seriously. Bullying is ILLEGAL, be it in school or the workplace, or anything. Th idea works like this: If the school doesn't actively talk about and combat bullying by cooperating with students, the police will come and solve the problem for them. You can report bullying to the police, and they will take it seriously.

I think the logic behind it is that school is mandatory, but the police have a duty to make sure the citizens are safe (especially when it involves kids having to go to school, whether they want to or not). It works. No school wants to end up in the news, because the police came over to escort a bullied child and make sure he/she could safely attend school while they sorted out the bullying problem. We had a whole day dedicated to "bullying awareness", organized by the school, where we actually listened to the headmaster addressing the whole school (Usually ppl slept though his speeches).

Personally, I think this should be adopted globally. Bullying is a big problem, but pretending it doesn't happen, in order to keep up appearances, is simply irresponsible and dangerous. Abuse is abuse, be it physical or psychological, and our society should not tolerate it, regardless of where it happens. Explain to me how a man beating another man in the street ends up being arrested for physical assault, but when a big kid beats up a smaller kid he doesn't get arrested for the exact same crime.

 

[vivalahelvig]

I just have people get all GRU'd up. They never notice because the bullies and shitty teachers are 'taken away' for a 'long time' from their families.

 

[erykweb]

Then its natural selection. Might be sick to say, but if they are weak willed to stay down, then STAY DOWN and die.

I am sorry but i feel as if im strong willed enough to go down in a blaze of glory. I'd sooner die trying to hurt the person trying to hurt me before killing myself.

Snake, you have no idea what you're talking about. It's obvious you've never felt so entirely helpless that you shut down and can't even bring yourself to resist believing what bullies say. When you're a kid, no one takes you seriously, no one gives you agency and you don't have any rights. When no one is your friend and no one is willing to back you up, when you don't conform to the normal standard of childhood behavior, your word is a good as dirt. No one listens to a kid and no one wants to. There was no one to help me. I lived in fear. I had no idea why people didn't like me and why they were hurting me and I thought it was my fault because I was small, and alone, and trapped. How was I supposed to contradict a grownup, who could I tell that I was bullied by the people I told on the bullies to? Between the ages of 4 and 10 you have about zero options for escaping that. By the time you get out of elementary school you have been so damaged by the experiences of your formative years that you don't even understand the idea of fighting back, you don't get to fight back, you're you and you're not worth fighting back for because it won't do ANYTHING. That's what you learn. You learn to shut up and sit down and TAKE IT. The ONLY reason I started to fight back was for my brother, I never would have done it for myself. I'm lucky, without that reason to fight I never would have, and I would have been one of those kids on the news.

Kids who are bullied are not the weakest. No one is the weakest and Social Darwinism is bullshit. No one can fight back against almost everyone that makes up their world, especially when they're 6. When the elementary school equivalent of the Third Reich decides you're enough standard deviations from the master race of coolness, no manner of advantageous characteristics will make it better. The problem is, if you get caught fighting back, you get beaten back down by the school or police, you're not allowed to fight and if you do you're the trouble-maker. Words will get you nowhere and you're not allowed to hit.

I had to fight kids on the way home from school, and no one was willing to tell anyone that the smallest girl in fifth grade just beat them and their six friends up. Little girls don't give boys black eyes.

Bullied kids aren't weak, they're afraid, and they're indoctrinated.

Honestly, This has more to do with being smarter than everyone else. Even at age 7, I could talk around the system. And when you are smarter, people tend to get irritated with you. I was never bullied. Why? Because the first time 3 kids tried to beat me up they ended up on the blacktop bleeding from their noses and fat lips. And I rubbed it in. They were beat and they felt it every time I spoke a word to them. I was not bigger or stronger than they were- I was smarter. Now, once you reach adulthood, this tends to even out a bit; the gap of intelligence becomes smaller, but it runs on the same principle. If you are taught correctly, and brought up correctly, then it will not be an issue. So every time I hear someone say they were bullied by person x, or psychologically scarred by person Y, I have little sympathy. If you make a display of violence against them, that is good. But if you hit them where they feel it psychologically- no one will ever bother. Fear is an emotion, the easier to invoke it is, the better off you will be.

Bullied kids ARE weak. They are made that way by the bullies. But they are not at the beginning. If they are smarter than the bullies at their own game, then there is never a problem.

 

[Red Roark]

I can understand your frustration but you have to understand, there's nothing the schools can do. Their funding is limited and being cut all the time, and if the school is not in a wealthy community it can't fund many, distractions for lack of a better word. It's a very cynical age and I think you're going to see more cynical kids who don't have many values.

I'd like to tell you a story, in 7th grade our school had an assembly against bullying. They had video where kids talked about being bullied. I was bullied too but unlike those kids I was a loner and didn't really want friends. But this one part of the assembly is forever fixed in my mind. This kid is talking about how he's picked on every day and how he's suicidal and they show him getting pushed off his bike suddenly. The entire auditorium burst into a fit of laughter. That moment taught me everything I needed to know about human beings. When we went back to class everyone was talking about how funny they thought the video was, how they laughed when the kid was talking about why he didn't understand why everyone called him a jew when he wasn't jewish. I lost most of my empathy that day.

Overall, all I can say is make sure your kids are mentally equipped to handle what school dishes out. And never ever bully your child at home, a shitty home and school life can seriously damage a kid for the rest of their lives.

 

[nukethetuna]

Honestly, This has more to do with being smarter than everyone else. Even at age 7, I could talk around the system. And when you are smarter, people tend to get irritated with you. I was never bullied. Why? Because the first time 3 kids tried to beat me up they ended up on the blacktop bleeding from their noses and fat lips. And I rubbed it in. They were beat and they felt it every time I spoke a word to them. I was not bigger or stronger than they were- I was smarter. Now, once you reach adulthood, this tends to even out a bit; the gap of intelligence becomes smaller, but it runs on the same principle. If you are taught correctly, and brought up correctly, then it will not be an issue. So every time I hear someone say they were bullied by person x, or psychologically scarred by person Y, I have little sympathy. If you make a display of violence against them, that is good. But if you hit them where they feel it psychologically- no one will ever bother. Fear is an emotion, the easier to invoke it is, the better off you will be.

Bullied kids ARE weak. They are made that way by the bullies. But they are not at the beginning. If they are smarter than the bullies at their own game, then there is never a problem.

Pffft, what did you do? Headbutt them with your MASSIVE BRAIN? "I did it so anyone can" is not a valid defense. It's called anecdotal evidence, and in this case it ignores the significant differences in people and situations.

Also I think retaliating by scarring them psychologically and then rubbing in the fact that you beat them down constantly makes YOU the bully.

 

[Ironic Pirate]

In my experience? Because near damn every teacher in the system is corrupt and dickish. But thats just here in Arkansas.

Same as over here in the states.

Uh, Arkansas is a state...

 

[Jim Sturtridge]

i don't claim to have all the answers but what i do claim to have is A answer- kids who aren't involved SHOULD get involved "its not my problem." you say, maybe it'll be your problem when a freaking news team asks you what YOU did to prevent or to encourage this kid to kill himself? bullies are thick- psychologically speaking they do it because they are insecure. call them on it inside a group of people they will back off or make a scene. Schools won't do anything, then do something about it yourself.

 

[snake4769]

Honestly, This has more to do with being smarter than everyone else. Even at age 7, I could talk around the system. And when you are smarter, people tend to get irritated with you. I was never bullied. Why? Because the first time 3 kids tried to beat me up they ended up on the blacktop bleeding from their noses and fat lips. And I rubbed it in. They were beat and they felt it every time I spoke a word to them. I was not bigger or stronger than they were- I was smarter. Now, once you reach adulthood, this tends to even out a bit; the gap of intelligence becomes smaller, but it runs on the same principle. If you are taught correctly, and brought up correctly, then it will not be an issue. So every time I hear someone say they were bullied by person x, or psychologically scarred by person Y, I have little sympathy. If you make a display of violence against them, that is good. But if you hit them where they feel it psychologically- no one will ever bother. Fear is an emotion, the easier to invoke it is, the better off you will be.

Bullied kids ARE weak. They are made that way by the bullies. But they are not at the beginning. If they are smarter than the bullies at their own game, then there is never a problem.

Pffft, what did you do? Headbutt them with your MASSIVE BRAIN? "I did it so anyone can" is not a valid defense. It's called anecdotal evidence, and in this case it ignores the significant differences in people and situations.

Also I think retaliating by scarring them psychologically and then rubbing in the fact that you beat them down constantly makes YOU the bully.

He is right though, the key is fear. If you make the bully believe you are going insane and threaten them or hurt them. They will leave you alone and find someone else.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

Honestly, This has more to do with being smarter than everyone else. Even at age 7, I could talk around the system. And when you are smarter, people tend to get irritated with you. I was never bullied. Why? Because the first time 3 kids tried to beat me up they ended up on the blacktop bleeding from their noses and fat lips. And I rubbed it in. They were beat and they felt it every time I spoke a word to them. I was not bigger or stronger than they were- I was smarter. Now, once you reach adulthood, this tends to even out a bit; the gap of intelligence becomes smaller, but it runs on the same principle. If you are taught correctly, and brought up correctly, then it will not be an issue. So every time I hear someone say they were bullied by person x, or psychologically scarred by person Y, I have little sympathy. If you make a display of violence against them, that is good. But if you hit them where they feel it psychologically- no one will ever bother. Fear is an emotion, the easier to invoke it is, the better off you will be.

Bullied kids ARE weak. They are made that way by the bullies. But they are not at the beginning. If they are smarter than the bullies at their own game, then there is never a problem.

I'm sorry, but no.

Speaking as someone that was bullied and tried that numerous times I can tell you that doesn't work all the time, or it works temporarily and then later I get jumped. There's only so much out smarting the bullies you can do before they stop talking to you and just go straight to abuse without you knowing it. I know a few times I was tripped and fell straight to the ground because one of them was assigned to sit right in front of me and it was the only way to get to my desk. No matter how much I pleaded to the teacher I had to sit there for a year.

My solution to all that, seclusion. Did it work? Yes, but it did me no favors.

Bullied kids are weak? I'm not even gonna go there with you.

 

[nukethetuna]

Honestly, This has more to do with being smarter than everyone else. Even at age 7, I could talk around the system. And when you are smarter, people tend to get irritated with you. I was never bullied. Why? Because the first time 3 kids tried to beat me up they ended up on the blacktop bleeding from their noses and fat lips. And I rubbed it in. They were beat and they felt it every time I spoke a word to them. I was not bigger or stronger than they were- I was smarter. Now, once you reach adulthood, this tends to even out a bit; the gap of intelligence becomes smaller, but it runs on the same principle. If you are taught correctly, and brought up correctly, then it will not be an issue. So every time I hear someone say they were bullied by person x, or psychologically scarred by person Y, I have little sympathy. If you make a display of violence against them, that is good. But if you hit them where they feel it psychologically- no one will ever bother. Fear is an emotion, the easier to invoke it is, the better off you will be.

Bullied kids ARE weak. They are made that way by the bullies. But they are not at the beginning. If they are smarter than the bullies at their own game, then there is never a problem.

Pffft, what did you do? Headbutt them with your MASSIVE BRAIN? "I did it so anyone can" is not a valid defense. It's called anecdotal evidence, and in this case it ignores the significant differences in people and situations.

Also I think retaliating by scarring them psychologically and then rubbing in the fact that you beat them down constantly makes YOU the bully.

He is right though, the key is fear. If you make the bully believe you are going insane and threaten them or hurt them. They will leave you alone and find someone else.

It's possible that works on some bullies, but there are others who have support and who might even be legitimately crazy. They're not all a Harold.

 

[RanD00M]

There's a little thing I found out about bullying that can help the receiving through it. I like to call it manning the fuck up and fighting back. It worked for me, it worked for another guy I know. And if you can't deal with it then natural selection has obviously decided that you are unworthy.

 

[Darkasassin96]

You know on the news they say the same thing. "people say sticks and stones break my bones but words will never hurt me. Tell that to a child who has been called ugly and fat. Theyll say they hurt a lot." My reply to this, then its time to break ou tthe sticks and stones. Now i have been 'bullied' before three times in my life. Mainly because i can be considered a nerd. I do well in school and when someone say says pussy the first thing i think of is cat instead of certain female body parts. One of the three people who has tried to bully me ended up in a wheelchair for six weeks while his broken legs healed.

this should be the respponse children are taught to give, not run away to the teacher. That would be worse than the bullying. So were down to three options, run away screaming to the teacher who he says is inneffectual, take it like a man or woman you probably are, or make them regret ever setting eyes on you. I know which one id pick. And some people ive talked to have told me that theyre not strong enough. The reason the bully seams strong is just because youve never fought back and him not expecting resistance will be taken off gaurd and ripe for the t-bagging. So to all people being bullied go hurt somebody its the healthy reaction and the logical one.

 

[Keepeas]

Read the first(second?) chapter of Ender's Game and come back...
go...
why are you still here? GO!..

I'll give you time...........

........................................

........................................

You done?

Spoiler

That's how you deal with bullies. They aren't messing with anybody after that.

 

[lacktheknack]

There's a little thing I found out about bullying that can help the receiving through it. I like to call it manning the fuck up and fighting back. It worked for me, it worked for another guy I know. And if you can't deal with it then natural selection has obviously decided that you are unworthy.

Because that's the only correct answer. I tried that, you know how it ended up? Spoiler: It didn't work. I only got peace by surrounding myself with adults who gave a damn about me.

Also, it resulted in a mild obsession with psychological torture, so "manning up" was only DETRIMENTAL to me.

 

[Icetailgreg]

Bullying is like a hand grenade. If you fight it, it explodes. If you ignore it, it explodes. If you tell someone about the grenade, it will still explode. Bullying isn't what it used to be, but the teachers don't seem to understand this, the nits. Some think "OH JUST IGNORE IT HURRRRRR" but as with my comparison above, it will still explode. Others think "OH FIGHT BACK DURRRRRRR", but then we get more trouble, which is like another hand grenade landing next to the other, you get in trouble and the other still explodes. Others again think "JUST TELL AN ADULT DUUUUUUUUUUUUH". Do you think that didn't cross our minds in the first place?! Even then, they just have more motivation to bully you more! Even if we did, what would you do? Watch us get the shit kicked out of us while you drink your coffee and then punish US? The VICTIM?!? There is a circle of hell for people like you!
In conclusion, Nothing works. The only way to survive Bullying is Tolerance. And even then, you have to survive everything else in this state prison of a school!

 

[Mrrrgggrlllrrrg]

Well lets take a look here, most of the time instead of a recurring problem it seems more of an isolated incident without investigation. There isn't a problem if it isn't brought up, just because someone has bruises from another child doesn't automatically raise the chronic harassment flag it just seems like a fight.

There is a reason why people tell kids "If you get bullied tell an adult", not saying anything makes it seem like nothing. Same thing if a teacher acts out you need to tell a trusted adult.

Sometimes the bully has a poor home life, sometimes they just want to watch the world to burn, and sometimes they just make terrible life choices.

Help never comes to those who don't seek it.

 

[Blow_Pop]

why is it still happening? because the strong always pick on the weak or those they perceive as weak. I was a shy quiet nerdy girl in school growing up. In grade school I was bullied to the point of being afraid to use the bathroom because I got the shit beat out of me by one of the other girls every time I did. A teacher found out and intervened. Unfortunately not every school does that. Some schools turn a blind eye. We had fights just about every day at my high school though admittedly they were wanna be "gang" members fighting with other wanna be "gang" members or just people who were different but still we had a lot of bullying. It happens and a lot of times it is the victim who gets blamed because they have the less convincing argument or side. Because for some reason a lot of bullies are good at bullshit. Probably as a defense mechanism to stay out of trouble.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Some people like to feel all big n' bad so they need to beat the living hell out of someone. People like this will always exists. I take comfort in the fact that one day Karma will come around and bite them in the ass.

 

[SilentCom]

Bullying still occurs because there will always be assholes wanting to ruin someone's day. Also, teachers are often limited to what they can do because the school district is afraid of being sued if the teacher so much as touch a student.