Why is it almost taboo to enjoy being alone?

[Waaghpowa]

I also find the whole "Get a life" or "you have no life" argument interestingly hilarious. Who are you to say how someone should live their life, or criticize how they're living it. I enjoy my time alone with my computer, playing video games or tinkering with linux (Which is what I play my games on these days.) so how is that any less of a "life" than you? I'm doing what I enjoy. According to those people, having a "life" means being obsessively social and getting wasted at every possible opportunity.

Personally I don't like large crowds and prefer time to myself as it's when I'm the most productive. It's the reason why I hate going to bars/clubs/concerts and generally only go out with a couple friends. 1-3 max.

Despite all that, I still have a girlfriend, going on over 6 months I believe, who is basically in the same boat as me. She may not be the best with computers, but she enjoys online video games and basically most of the things I do. I think I'm better off than some of those "Social" people as far as I'm concerned.

 

[Shuguard]

OP: you are fine the way you are. They are just trying to insult you the best way they can and are failing at it terribly. You don't need to change unless you are unhappy.

 

[Your Gaffer]

Most people are happier if the socialize with others. The form of that socialization can vary and only you know how much is enough but you will be more content with your life if you get some socialization in.

I know that I am much happier the more I visit with friends and family.

 

[Headdrivehardscrew]

While we humans come with an insanely huge brain to lug around, we're pretty weak compared to other animals in our weight class.

It only takes one functional brain to come up with the best ideas and the most astonishing things, but it usually takes a lot of manpower to make these things happen in the physical world.

In short,

it is against our very nature to be alone and even enjoy it. Maybe there's a cultural stigma still in effect like in the caves and huts and villages of old, but I think it's more about the time proven fact that people who prefer loneliness to company either tend to check out prematurely or turn really, really weird.

Escapism is cool as long as it's more of a pastime than a dedicated way of life. Your games/bronies/trekkies/forum fellows might be with you as long as possible, but - generally speaking - they won't be there for you IRL, they won't come around for your 50th birthday, they are usually not valid targets for, say, an inheritance, your car or your dog should you accidentally pass away.

Society is a construct, the individuals within it oftentimes act instincively, much like bees, ants, dogs or other more or less 'social' animals would. If you become or paint yourself the odd one out, a lot of folks will respond accordingly, without ill will or giving it much thought, they're just instinctively trying to stay safe (and fend off fears of being strange/alone/lonely themselves).

 

[FallenTraveler]

While it is okay to be alone at times, it is a well established fact that socializing is what one would call "Healthy".

I prefer to be alone too, I don't really like being around people. But I have to acknowledge the fact that I NEED to socialize to be a mentally well adjusted individual.

So, as long as you spend time with friends or family once and a while, you are fine.

 

[A_Parked_Car]

Introverts are a minority of the population, it is as simple as that.

Most extroverts can't comprehend why an introvert would want to spend the majority of their time alone. The same way that most introverts can't understand why an extrovert would want to be with people the majority of the time.

I'm a VERY strong introvert, but last night I decided to try going to one party just to see what the hype was about. I lasted about two hours before I was on the verge of hyperventilating and just wanted to get the fuck outa there. Obviously I'm an extreme case, but it is just the way I am. I prefer to spend most of my time alone and when I want to spend time with people, it will usually be either one-on-one or in a very small group.

 

[Lt._nefarious]

I love being alone...

A kindly bald, gay lady (and she was actually gay, I'm not just assuming!) expressed concern that I never spent time with my friends and wasn't convinced with the excuse "I like being alone, I can't wear dress trousers, a fluffy robe, a mask and nothing else if I'm constantly surrounded by people..."

 

[FalloutJack]

Who says it is? I never heard anything like that.

 

[wooty]

What the hell does it matter anyway? If you enjoy time alone, then enjoy it. I always enjoy my time alone and don't feel like its some sort of "natural duty" to be around other people all the time.

People, even good friends, can be very stressful at times when you factor in different tastes and nuances. I always find that spending too much time around people can leave you feeling either burnt out or pissed off. Theres nothing better at times than turning my phone off, getting a few cans in raging at the football all afternoon.

 

[Kuilui]

I felt pretty bad about myself that I never dated or anything for some years after high school. Never bothered to even try it out with girls that were practically throwing themselves at me when I had the chance heh. I guess society made me feel like a freak. Being a person who has no interest in dating because I'd rather just spend my time alone, I felt happy but society made me feel like the wierdo. I get that its a basically ingrained desire within most of us to find a mate for one reason or another. I just never really saw the point. Most of the people I see in relationships are extremely unhappy or very bored and they are always broke.. Obviously people have amazing relationships but I look at the odds....and I'll pass for now. I barely have any free time as it is anyway (work 5-6 days a week + college)so I'll be single for a long time to come I think, and that's fine with me. Still that little niggling thought of not meeting societies standards bites at the back of me.

 

[getoffmycloud]

Yeah it pretty much is. I am a very introverted person and get really worn out in social situations, so I tend to avoid them or make them fairly short most of the time but my family don't understand that and always criticize me for it to the point where I only see them for about 15 minutes a day at dinner and I avoid them the rest of the time.

 

[RedDeadFred]

It's not....

It is pretty commonly known that there plenty of introverts and extroverts in today's society.

 

[AngloDoom]

I've never seen anyone being insulted for enjoying their own company. In your examples it seems the people are implying not that you've chosen differently than them, but that you're unable to get what they have.

People don't shame virgins because they haven't had sex, but because they seemingly can't get it.

 

[TelHybrid]

Because they know you're fapping... ¬_¬

 

[SonOfMethuselah]

Well, I'm really introverted to begin with, so even when I'm with my friends, I tend to be pretty withdrawn. After a few drinks I'm a little more open, but if we're hanging out sober, I just kind of follow everyone else's lead. I'm more comfortable by myself, but there is the odd time when I really want to be with people.

I think a large part of the problem is that people tend to project their own expectations, habits, beliefs etc. onto other people as a method of understanding: if you act in a predictable way, people are more likely to classify the action as 'normal.' If someone else's prediction doesn't apply to you, they have a harder time understanding you, and therefore aren't going to classify you as normal. So, if they're a more sociable kind of person, anyone who doesn't feel the need to socialize is going to seem weird.

 

[BoredAussieGamer]

Simply put: Humans are social creatures. We evolved in groups because that was best for our survival. The idea that someone enjoys being alone is hard-wired in our psychology as an alarm bell. If someone doesn't like being in a group, they compromise their chances of survival.

Now days, that isn't as true as people are capable of living just fine alone, but we still depend on each-other to some degree.

 

[Wolfhowl the shadow lurker]

While i don't hate being around people i get bored easyly with them and if we do talk i just end up making a dick of myself its me thats fucked up not everyone in the whole world.

I like my time alone, all of my time out of collage i use locked in my room with my pc, people call this sad and lonely i call it doing what i love.

 

[Not Matt]

Spoiler: the guilty bastard

HIM!!!! I blame this c*nt for making everything you do alone seem pathetic. Ever since this character showed up I would seem like being alone is a code to always be alone. I am not over reactin, when someone tells me ?nahhhh I just spent the weekend alone at home you know, get some me-time? I think ?man this guy is a lonely person, what a sad little man?.
And I like having me time. I like spending a weekend by myself once in a while. Heck I did it this weekend actually. But when I tell someone they?ll instantly think of the forever alone guy. Youre thinking I am a lonely person now too don?t you ? because I like being alone and because I enjoy not having people around. People still sometimes saw the world like that before too i am not saying they didn't, but when he got popular it exploded

 

[uchytjes]

The only time I like to get social is when I feel like observing people in certain situations. I pretty much act like a dick around people in order to see how they react. Other times, I act quite differently in order to see what people who think of me as a dick act when they see another side of me. Its all really quite fun!

 

[jhoroz]

It's something my previous, Hitler Youth of a shit hole boarding school looked down on too. Apparently you're a fucking psychological anomaly if you require some spare time to charge up every day. I got alienated for it, but fuck em'. They were like the epitome of what's wrong with upper class British boarding schools.