Why is it almost taboo to enjoy being alone?

[CrimsonBlaze]

I've had as slightly similar argument with a sibling like the OP had and one of their greatest battle plans is to try to put me down on anything that they believe will hurt me, as well as them being more out-going. It didn't work, obviously, because they are a sad, immature excuse of a flesh sack that tries to hang out with the older, cooler crowd, doing idiotic things and being allowed to do so because they are not worth the time for our parents (seriously).

They tried to harp on how I am an introvert because I would spend a good deal of time in my room. This is a crime because...? I have everything that I like in my room. Its the smallest in the house, yes, but all my books, fictional works, movies, video games, laptops, and TV fit perfectly, so I have a place to spend my time in. Also, I always get sunlight and fresh air in my room, and if I want to go outside, the door is right across the hall. I enjoy being in my room when I have nothing to do and no where else to go; no one else in my home does.

My sibling is the one with the issues; all they do in their room is sleep and they only spend time outside because the desktop is in the dinning room and they needed to move the Wii out in the living room because it was "interfering with his studies," so now he watches Netflix in the living room instead of their room.

Bottom line is that if you have some place to go to where you can relax, kudos to you. If you enjoy your time spent being alone, that's fine as well. No says you have to interact with people daily; just be mindful and respectful of others when you do need to speak with them.

 

[Product Placement]

In japan, loners are actually becoming a genuine concern among people. They have their own word for such people, "Hikikomori", which basically means shut-ins or hermits.

Basically, the irony is that they allowed a culture of loners to develop there, and now they have over million people who are not actively seeking employment, dating, having kids or anything else that a normal sociable person would do.

Many things are blamed for this development, for example the ever growing Otaku culture, the fact that school/workplace bullying is so rampant and isn't being dealt with anyone, the fact that mothers tend to provide food and financial support to people who develop these anti-social tendencies, thus they never need to leave their place to get money or food. Of course, one of the biggest contributer to the problem is the Internet; some work via Internet, purchase everything they need via Internet, communicate with other people via Internet but they have otherwise never left their house in years.

So basically, the fundamental reason why people are talking more and more about the Hikikmori is because there's now a really big shortage of births in Japan. A healthy society needs about 2.2-2.3 births, on average, per couple, in order to maintain a stable population (the .2 - .3 is to compensate for people who die young or never have children of their own). Japan's national birth rate is around 1.3, making it one of the countries with the smallest birth rates in the world; birth rate in the capital is only 1.09. This problem has persisted for 20 years now, meaning that the percentage of young people and children are shrinking, while people that are retired or about to be retired are growing.

And that is one of the reasons why being a shut-in is a taboo; you're not making babies.

 

[Andalusa]

There was a point in my life not too long ago when I literally had no time to myself. Not even when I was sleeping. If I wasn't at work surrounded by people I was at home surrounded by people, if I wasn't there I was out with friends surrounded by people, if I wasn't there I was in my bed that I shared with the boyfriend. I managed to stick it out for about 2 weeks before I lost it. Broke up with the boyfriend, fell out with my friends, pushed my family away from me and distanced myself at work.

I thrive on solitude. There's nothing wrong with it. It's all well and good talking about any problems you might be having, but I need me time to work through it.

Some people need to be surrounded by others. For the same reason I need solitude, they need constant company.

 

[IndomitableSam]

I live with my twin sister. Every couple weeks, we go out with friends. We work with people all day and like being alone... sort of. It's kind of a grey area as to if you're alone if you're with your twin or not.

Some people find it weird that we spend so much time together and aren't interested in dating/going out all the time. We get (most) of our social needs filled by each other, and then go out every now and again otherwise.

We simply don't care what other people think - we're happy as we are, so screw what other people think.

As teens, our parents were worried about us not having friends, but soon after that we fell into a group and were out almost nightly of our own volition.

Anyway, being a twin is kinda different, but we generally hate other people and don't like going out much, either.

 

[Scarim Coral]

I guess some people view human beings as a social beings and that they cannot survive being alone and cannot get far by themselves. While that is half true but there has been plenty of people achiving or done stuff just by themselves or a single person had survive while others fail.

 

[Old Father Eternity]

Humans, odd creatures, quite interesting subjects to observe, difficult to figure out however, invoking emotions from amusement to sadness.
Long term direct interaction over rated, though often required, luckily not entirely without benefits.
Regardless, interaction preferably kept to a minimum.


In all seriousness, socializing does not quite live up to its hype. True it has its benefits and one can stumble upon really good companions, even if just for a little while. However even that can get tiresome quickly, perhaps it is one of those aspects in which some people are just wired differently.

 

[Dtox333]

It's funny, I came onto this website thinking the same question due to some things people have said. Not directly at me, but I still disagree with them.

I'm very much comfortable being a loner. I don't get out much, and when I am out I'd rather stay in my own little area to myself. I don't even care much about being around friends, nor do I care about whether or not I have a girlfriend (frankly, I'm quite happy with not having one).

It's not like I'm socially awkward, I CAN be, but people I've met and befriended have said that they never would have guessed that about myself.

Those who think being sociable and outgoing is anything more than a personal preference are just full of themselves.

I'm more than comfortable being who I am, and if that's wrong, well then I don't want to be right.

 

[Smolderin]

Don't feel so alone on this matter. I to enjoy being alone and away from others. Other people just tend to look at me strange and condemn me for enjoying a single, solitary lifestyle. I enjoy the quiet...and the less interaction I have with humanity...the happier I am.

 

[370999]

Because human society is based on interraction with others. Who made the computer you are reasing this on, the bed you sleepp on, the food you eat? Other people. Human beings need to interact with each other to survive with any measure of comfort.

No I do think contemporary western society has been neglecting the concept of "aloneness" a bit too much, it is important for people to spend some time alone.

But in general there is a good reason for peopel to interract with each other.

 

[Old Father Eternity]

But in general there is a good reason for people to interact with each other.

True, as the human race as a whole needs to interact, some individuals here and there are of no consequence but for the whole society to fallow suit would be among several unwanted situations that would bring about stagnation and fading into the oblivion of time.

 

[JackandTom]

If people want to spend time with you, that's cool. My problem is that people worry about me, and feel bad for leaving me alone, asking me "Are you alright?" over and over. Yes, sometimes I wish to be alone.

How they think I feel when I'm alone
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mczz1sOfyN1r53qfl.gif

What I actually feel like when I'm alone
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcmde0nF311rretvp.gif

That had to be explained in gif format.

Sometimes it's just specific people that I'd rather be alone from than stood talking to them. If I'm with my brother/s we see eye to eye so I'd like to talk to them rather than to myself

 

[Professor Lupin Madblood]

The single most aggravating thing about it is towards the end of the night, they started handing out the awards for "Most Popular student" and what not, and I go back in because I want to see if any of my friends won anything. So I'm chilling in the back again, and the same assholes from before keep trying to engage me again during the award ceremony. Even has the nerve to tell me not to be bummed out that I didn't win anything. Like really? Really?

Fun fact about the awards, I knew virtually NONE of the people of that won shit. It was like watching the Academy Awards.

Other fun fact? Post awards they start dancing again, I return to the lobby to play Tetris.... I get to eavesdrop on a conversation of these... I don't know if they were jocks, I'm just assuming because they seemed athletic, and one of them WAS incredibly bent out of shape that he didn't win something. I found it amusing.

When my high school had our prom for all the graduates, the awards segment was a gong show. I didn't actually attend the dance (I had tried to give the semi-formal earlier in the year a chance and was sorely disappointed), but from what I hear, it was kind of bullshit.

For instance, the graduates vote on who gets what award, but it's up to student council to count the votes and deal with the process. For almost every single award, a student council member got it. The best example was when, in the "Most likely to live in a nudist colony" category, a girl who regularly wore denim jackets, had multiple piercings, discussed her bodily functions at volume, and now participates in roller derby lost to this conservative, keener, probably Christian girl who had the personality of a floorboard.

Institutions suck.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

The single most aggravating thing about it is towards the end of the night, they started handing out the awards for "Most Popular student" and what not, and I go back in because I want to see if any of my friends won anything. So I'm chilling in the back again, and the same assholes from before keep trying to engage me again during the award ceremony. Even has the nerve to tell me not to be bummed out that I didn't win anything. Like really? Really?

Fun fact about the awards, I knew virtually NONE of the people of that won shit. It was like watching the Academy Awards.

Other fun fact? Post awards they start dancing again, I return to the lobby to play Tetris.... I get to eavesdrop on a conversation of these... I don't know if they were jocks, I'm just assuming because they seemed athletic, and one of them WAS incredibly bent out of shape that he didn't win something. I found it amusing.

When my high school had our prom for all the graduates, the awards segment was a gong show. I didn't actually attend the dance (I had tried to give the semi-formal earlier in the year a chance and was sorely disappointed), but from what I hear, it was kind of bullshit.

For instance, the graduates vote on who gets what award, but it's up to student council to count the votes and deal with the process. For almost every single award, a student council member got it. The best example was when, in the "Most likely to live in a nudist colony" category, a girl who regularly wore denim jackets, had multiple piercings, discussed her bodily functions at volume, and now participates in roller derby lost to this conservative, keener, probably Christian girl who had the personality of a floorboard.

Institutions suck.

Funny how the way the microcosm of High School works so easily mirrors the "real world".

 

[Professor Lupin Madblood]

The single most aggravating thing about it is towards the end of the night, they started handing out the awards for "Most Popular student" and what not, and I go back in because I want to see if any of my friends won anything. So I'm chilling in the back again, and the same assholes from before keep trying to engage me again during the award ceremony. Even has the nerve to tell me not to be bummed out that I didn't win anything. Like really? Really?

Fun fact about the awards, I knew virtually NONE of the people of that won shit. It was like watching the Academy Awards.

Other fun fact? Post awards they start dancing again, I return to the lobby to play Tetris.... I get to eavesdrop on a conversation of these... I don't know if they were jocks, I'm just assuming because they seemed athletic, and one of them WAS incredibly bent out of shape that he didn't win something. I found it amusing.

When my high school had our prom for all the graduates, the awards segment was a gong show. I didn't actually attend the dance (I had tried to give the semi-formal earlier in the year a chance and was sorely disappointed), but from what I hear, it was kind of bullshit.

For instance, the graduates vote on who gets what award, but it's up to student council to count the votes and deal with the process. For almost every single award, a student council member got it. The best example was when, in the "Most likely to live in a nudist colony" category, a girl who regularly wore denim jackets, had multiple piercings, discussed her bodily functions at volume, and now participates in roller derby lost to this conservative, keener, probably Christian girl who had the personality of a floorboard.

Institutions suck.

Funny how the way the microcosm of High School works so easily mirrors the "real world".

 

[Subscriptism]

The people that don't like being alone are the ones that socialise typically and thus decide the social taboo.

 

[lumenadducere]

There are still many who hold onto the idea that being alone somehow makes you inferior - it must mean that you're socially inept or awkward and that in turn must mean that there's something wrong with you.

Generally speaking, humans are social creatures and society teaches us to seek and approve of social behavior. It's slowly changing, but the idea still holds that those who don't fit into the norm must have some sort of flaw that makes them inferior. From my experience the people who actually bother pointing that out are pretty ignorant and not worth the time of day.

To be fair, you are coming to a gaming forum that is more likely to have people who sympathize with you and feel that it's no big deal, like me. You'd probably get a different response from a different group of people. That being said, we're right and they're wrong.

 

[Olas]

People will always fear what they don't understand.

Social people will never understand why some people like being alone. For someone with social anxiety being alone is the only way you can truly feel free. I don't feel lonely when I'm alone, I feel lonely when I'm in a large crowd.