Why is it that attempts to make friends always seems awkward?

[karcentric]

It might just be you that feels awkward. I just talk until I can't think of anything else to say, by that time they know all about me, and then I start with the questions.

 

[Olas]

Don't "try" to make friends. If a person is worthy of your friendship it'll just happen naturally.... and if it doesn't happen naturally get a pet.

Because fuck humans.

 

[DoomyMcDoom]

It is weird, I've approached women on the bus or just like in a shopping center and gotten phone numbers off em and dated em, but making friends is awkward as fuck that way.

 

[Trippy Turtle]

Most friends you will find by accident. There is no point in a forced friendship.

 

[RaffB]

Meh, personally I wouldn't put too much thought into friends.
Right now I have two friends who I'd take a bullet for, if you'll pardon the cliche.

One I met at a party, tried to chat up, failed miserably, then became good friends with.

The other? Long story involving fiance's, relationships and other friends. But to put it simple, I'd personally go against the army's of Satan himself, armed with nothing but a toothpick and a small squirrel, If it meant keeping her safe.

In my experience, Life just happens, friends are part of life, ergo, they just happen.

 

[Nouw]

The trick is not to try. If you're naturally bonding with them, chances are it's going to be great.

 

[Gatx]

I don't know, I haven't seen anyone that did that and thought, "Man that guy is desperate"...

But even if you don't think it yourself, you can't help but think that other people might think that about you if you tried. At least I do anyway. Striking up conversations with completely random people outside of school or work is definitely something I'm trying to comprehend.

 

[DustyDrB]

I usually just joke about something relevant to the situation. I'm not actively trying to make a friend, but...well, I have an ego. And I like being the funny guy. But a good joke can lead to conversation. Sometimes you walk away with a new acquaintance. Sometimes that acquaintance becomes a friend.

 

[Risingblade]

Talking to random strangers is awkward itself then again I'm not the type who goes around making friends so I guess I'm in the same boat you are.

 

[Warachia]

Tonight, I'm not doing anything. There are plenty of shows to be watching on Netflix, but doing that for hours on end just makes me feel like I'm not accomplishing anything. I hate going to bars (mainly because of the smoke and the music being too loud to make conversation), but it doesn't seem like there's many alternatives. I tried going to coffee shops for a bit, but it seems like people who're reading a book or on their computer generally don't want to be disturbed, even though that's exactly what I did to pass the time.

However, meeting people online almost seems like it's creepy. I mean, there are local meetup groups for anime/games/scifi/whatever. But I feel like if I were to message people from those groups instead of waiting two weeks for the next meetup, I'd give off a creepy vibe or something. What's wrong with just being bored and wanting to talk to someone who shares my interests?

Meeting and becoming new friends with people I found is only awkward if you force it, go to a place where people are actively discussing a topic/hobby you enjoy, and talk to them, as others have said, it's less about making them as it is finding them, if you feel like it, you can debate with them about things or a current item that they enjoy and you don't (and vice versa) if all goes well, you both enjoy the talk/debate, you leave happy, you can even agree to meet up sometime later to hang out, and that's really all that's required, you both need to be active, talking to somebody interested in something else is almost always going to start and end awkwardly, or at least, that's how I found it.

Online is a little different, this is more spontaneous, and I'd only recommend trying to befriend somebody if you see them often around places you regularly visit, other than that it's the same process.

 

[Kae]

I don't know, I haven't seen anyone that did that and thought, "Man that guy is desperate"...

But even if you don't think it yourself, you can't help but think that other people might think that about you if you tried. At least I do anyway. Striking up conversations with completely random people outside of school or work is definitely something I'm trying to comprehend.

Well I guess so, but I don't know I've never tried it, I mean if I can't find something to talk about with the people I know, What could I possibly say to a stranger? Besides I tend to block off when talking to strangers and then I can only answer by nodding and shaking my head, so it would just be very weird if I just approached some random person said hi and didn't say anything else, I do wonder if they'd think I'm retarded or something if I were to do that.

 

[Torrasque]

That's another thing I don't get. Why does simply wanting to make friends make me desperate? Who DOESN'T want to make friends? What's wrong with just asking someone if they want to hang out?

I make do with my handful of friends. I don't hang out that much, but when I do, its fun times.
I suggest either trying to meet new people at work/school/etc. or try to hang out with people who share your interests online. I would rather hang out with someone I have fun with online, than try to meet people who might share my interests. Besides, going out is expensive damnit and I don't have money to burn whenever. It was always annoying when my friends wanted to go to clubs across the city. Clubs are annoying and more expensive than bars, but bars are actually fun.

 

[Burs]

I am the victim of forced friendship, I got stolen away from a bunch of my friends at a bar, by a pretty metal-head girl and literally forced to sit with her and her mates (not that im complaining if pretty girls ask me to do something it happens!) eventually some of my friends came over, warily at first but by the end of the night we were all buddies and most of us still are.

All becuase I was wearing a Proper big floppy wizard's hat.

Moral of the story? If you want friends fast, buy yourself a hat!

 

[Dreiko_v1legacy]

Making friends is not something you're supposed to consciously attempt. It's something that naturally emerges when you interact with people with whom you have some form of compatibility.



Going to a local anime/games meetup is a good way to start but don't be too forceful about it, just keep going there for a few times, maybe talk to someone, offer your views on things. If you see it going well then maybe invite someone over to your place to play or watch something. It's a slow and gradual process and you can't be "hey, wanna be friends" to a stranger and expect for that to work.

 

[Desaari]

Bars and coffee shops aren't really the best places to meet new people. I'd recommend social groups like those for hobbies or a sport. Especially ones where you have to participate with other people, that makes things easier. So that could be anything from playing board games to studying martial arts to going paintballing.

My local university hosts a whole range of social activities and sports clubs, and don't require you to be attending classes, so that would be a great place to start looking.

 

[Dragonpit]

My cure for this syndrome: Take up a hobby that requires you going outside the house. Doesn't matter what. Karate, chess clubs, anything you don't NORMALLY do. From there, interact with those in the same hobby. If you don't end up finding the hobbies themselves appealing in the end, don't sweat it. That's not the point. When interacting, talk about whatever the hell you want. If nothing clicks with them, sure, just back off. No need to force things. The point is to keep trying.

 

[Dreiko_v1legacy]

Competitive gaming works too, you don't need to do stuff you don't like to make friends. Just look up some local community for your favorite genre. I made tons of friends from just being really into Blazblue.