Hi all not really new here but it's been a bit and I really could use some help understanding something. My girlfriend and I had been on the outs for about a year of a 5 year relationship, last Christmas rolled around and we ended up breaking up badly. We still lived together though so it was really weird, then she had to go to Germany for two weeks and she ends up hooking up with someone while she's there (we're military if you're wondering, so was he).
I didn't take it well, I tried to I really did, I tried to be a friend about it and tell her that getting with someone engaged was a bad idea. It got worse and worse for me though as every time she smiled or talked about him it just broke me over and over again, cause she still wanted to do things like sleep together or go places and worst of all talk about him. She says she never saw that it hurt me, that I hid it really well, but I don't know It hurt so much I don't know how I could. She got upset about him one day, I don't know I think it was he hadn't called when he said he would, and she asked me to sleep in the bed with her no sex just comfort I guess. I tried but I couldn't do it and I ended up getting up halfway through the night. She got really upset in the morning crying that I was being like every other man and breaking promises, I really wasn't it just hurt to be that close but so far away from her. So I told her that I'd try again and I did for a couple of days, I dunno I guess I was reaching for anything that made me feel like she cared about me.
Then we got into a fight because I told her this was killing me that it hurt to want to be with her but she was with him, and I told her I couldn't lay in the bed with her anymore. I told her I understand that she needs someone and that she just not let them in my room if she let them in. I guess she took that to heart because I got a call on my way home from work that day telling me that she had company over. I get off of work at 11:00 at night so I knew this wasn't good. I get home and the house is all dark, there's a car in our extra parking spot, and I come to find them locked in her room.
I think I really felt something break in my chest, I still do I just about broke into tears right then.
So I pound on her door and I ask to talk to her, she asks me through the door what I want, she wouldn't even come out to talk to me. I tell her that what she's doing to me is hurting me emotionally, I ask her to make him please leave, and she tells me no she wants him here. I beg with her for what seemed like half an hour, and I get desperate and call the cops and ask them to remove this man I don't know from my home. They refuse telling me she's on the lease and she can have guests and they leave me. I ended up kicking the door to her room at that point and immediately stop, knowing I had just screwed myself. I try talking to her again and ask to talk to the guy, I ask him to leave, I ask him as one man to another to please leave that this isn't a good night for anyone. He tells me, "sorry man this happened to me, it's going to happen to you, you'll just have to get over it."
...I don't remember if I kicked to door again then or not...
I end up getting arrested and kicked out of my home, I'm still homeless but I'm working on it but I just can't let go of this.
Why would someone do this to someone they spent a five year relationship with? Why would someone want to hurt me so much, and why was it more important that I go to jail and he stay there? Am I just not good enough, am I just something so easy to cast aside? Why would anyone do this? Please someone tell me. Please.
I didn't take it well, I tried to I really did, I tried to be a friend about it and tell her that getting with someone engaged was a bad idea. It got worse and worse for me though as every time she smiled or talked about him it just broke me over and over again, cause she still wanted to do things like sleep together or go places and worst of all talk about him. She says she never saw that it hurt me, that I hid it really well, but I don't know It hurt so much I don't know how I could. She got upset about him one day, I don't know I think it was he hadn't called when he said he would, and she asked me to sleep in the bed with her no sex just comfort I guess. I tried but I couldn't do it and I ended up getting up halfway through the night. She got really upset in the morning crying that I was being like every other man and breaking promises, I really wasn't it just hurt to be that close but so far away from her. So I told her that I'd try again and I did for a couple of days, I dunno I guess I was reaching for anything that made me feel like she cared about me.
Then we got into a fight because I told her this was killing me that it hurt to want to be with her but she was with him, and I told her I couldn't lay in the bed with her anymore. I told her I understand that she needs someone and that she just not let them in my room if she let them in. I guess she took that to heart because I got a call on my way home from work that day telling me that she had company over. I get off of work at 11:00 at night so I knew this wasn't good. I get home and the house is all dark, there's a car in our extra parking spot, and I come to find them locked in her room.
I think I really felt something break in my chest, I still do I just about broke into tears right then.
So I pound on her door and I ask to talk to her, she asks me through the door what I want, she wouldn't even come out to talk to me. I tell her that what she's doing to me is hurting me emotionally, I ask her to make him please leave, and she tells me no she wants him here. I beg with her for what seemed like half an hour, and I get desperate and call the cops and ask them to remove this man I don't know from my home. They refuse telling me she's on the lease and she can have guests and they leave me. I ended up kicking the door to her room at that point and immediately stop, knowing I had just screwed myself. I try talking to her again and ask to talk to the guy, I ask him to leave, I ask him as one man to another to please leave that this isn't a good night for anyone. He tells me, "sorry man this happened to me, it's going to happen to you, you'll just have to get over it."
...I don't remember if I kicked to door again then or not...
I end up getting arrested and kicked out of my home, I'm still homeless but I'm working on it but I just can't let go of this.
Why would someone do this to someone they spent a five year relationship with? Why would someone want to hurt me so much, and why was it more important that I go to jail and he stay there? Am I just not good enough, am I just something so easy to cast aside? Why would anyone do this? Please someone tell me. Please.
