Worst loading screen-tip

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Pipotchi

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Jan 17, 2008
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The first Guitar Hero - "They dont really want Freebird, they are just mocking you!"
 

Ernie1042

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Aug 8, 2008
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My sister played MapleStory for long periods of time and it would give you tips like, "You have been playing MapleStory for 8 hours; go outside!" Well, screw you too, mods.

The best tips always come from personal servers where anyone who befriends the owner can post tips. The "ASHLEY IZ A &!%@# AND A BOIFRIEND STELER!!!1!" messages that pop up always make my day.
 

51gunner

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Jun 12, 2008
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Danny Ocean said:
[HEADING=2]You were killed by a grenade, watch out for the grenade danger indicator.[/HEADING]
I hate this one. Watch out for the indicator? Watch out for the indicators. Plural. Because there were seven of the fucking things. Goddamn CoD AI: if you can't make 'em smart, give'm more grenades.
 

Avatar Roku

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Jul 9, 2008
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Frank_Sinatra_ said:
"Oncoming fire has the right-away."
No shit?! Really!?
I assume you're referring to Cod4? That wasn't a tip, that was just one of their plethora of quotes.
Instant K4rma said:
This is a tip I wish I have never had the misfortune to read/experience:

"Press 'B' to tag grenades to walls..." (Gears of War 2)
Why is that bad?
 

Frank_Sinatra_

Digs Giant Robots
Dec 30, 2008
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orannis62 said:
Frank_Sinatra_ said:
"Oncoming fire has the right-away."
No shit?! Really!?
I assume you're referring to Cod4? That wasn't a tip, that was just one of their plethora of quotes.
Instant K4rma said:
This is a tip I wish I have never had the misfortune to read/experience:

"Press 'B' to tag grenades to walls..." (Gears of War 2)
Why is that bad?
Essentially it's a tip as well as a quote.
 

Goldbling

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Nov 21, 2008
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Well i always though the news bar in Sim City was always funny, but the tip were always serious

but I have to agree in MGS4, that smoking tip... about not smoking
 

Shycte

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Mar 10, 2009
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JemJar said:
Shycte said:
JemJar said:
"Got no mates? Play with bots!"

Timesplitters 3 - hated the game, loved the tip.

How could you posssibly hate such a great game?

Please, tell me...
Why I didn't like TS3?

I loved Timesplitters 2. I loved the single player, I loved the multiplayer, I loved the challenges - it is, to me, the absolute pinnacle of the console FPS. And when it comes down to it, most of the reason I loved it was the subtlety and simplicity of the whole package.

Timesplitters 2 has no plot. It has a background of sorts, if you read the manual and don't skip cutscenes. But when playing the game it has all the narrative complexity of the average beat 'em up. Alien "Timesplitters" bad, humans good, Cortez and Hart trying to save world by entering a range of brilliantly pastiched scenarios and completing some pretty arbitrary objectives. I can't really emphasise enough the genius of the humour in TS2, it was wonderfully understated - the parodies of different film genres and characters down to the music choices.

Timesplitters 3 by contrast tried to have plot. It tried to have comedy, turning Cortez from a mere mute Vin Diesel lookalike to a camp jokey moron. The deliberately cheesy dialogue went past being genuinely funny and into the region where you expect there to be a neon light mounted on your TV with "LAUGH NOW" flashing on it whenever a bad joke was made.

Game design suffered too: the level design appeared bland, co-op was utterly crocked (it teleports the second player around at the whim of the first player - with a friend we found P2 could get jumped from room to room by P1 walking along and back along a short corridor) and some twat decided that what it really needed was vehicle sections. No FPS needs vehicle sections, but somewhere along the lines it was decided that all FPSes should and so now they do, TS3 included.

Essentially the difference between TS2 and TS3 is similar to the difference between Worms 1 and Worms 2. Both Worms 1 and TS2 represent a more stripped down, simplified experience - both reward taking some time to learn some actual skill but the options aren't dazzling, what those games do they polish very well. Worms 2 and TS3 are both bloated by the success of the previous incarnations, cramming in more features, more weapons and brasher jokes for the sake of cheap laughs.
I agree that TimeSplitters Future Perfect (NOT TimeSplitters 3) is not as good as TimeSplitters 2. TimeSplitters 2 were all about multiplayer and fun challenges. Many have compared it to N64s Goldeneye. Fun and fast action for everybody. I remember the countless hours I spent playing flametag woth my friends on hangar.

TimeSplitters FP (let us call it that to make it easier) however, focused more on the story rahter then gameplay. I thoght the story was funny, altough I was pretty young when I first played it so if I were to play it again I might find more to caomplain about in the story.

I still think that the gameplay was A material so to speak. All the new characters and their little rant when you choosed them. The Zombie mode when you have to survive using only the gravity modifier.

I see your point but I just don't think that the diffrence between the two games are that big. Of course you are entitled to your own opinion and I'm not trying to make you change that. We simply have diffrent taste
 

MiracleOfSound

Fight like a Krogan
Jan 3, 2009
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Shycte said:
You all know them. It is typical for a game to have some kind of tip or fact whenever it loads (see Oblivion, Fable etc. etc.)

Sometimes they are good, sometimes they are okay and sometimes thay suck. What do you think is the worst loading screen tip.

I say Condemned has it. "Use block to your advantage". NO SHIT! Here I was thinking that it was wise to NOT use block. *facepalm*

Condemned had this little gem of advice in the manual:

Aim for specific body parts like the head, torso, arms or legs to do extra damage.
 

Zomni42

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Jul 22, 2008
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City of Heroes, it's an in joke, but "It's all a nemesis plot" and "it's not ALL a nemesis plot" show up. on the loading screens.
 

Onyx Oblivion

Borderlands Addict. Again.
Sep 9, 2008
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There is a tip in Oblivion. It lies...

"A high Willpower allows you to defend against magical attacks."

It doesn't do that.
 

sicDaniel

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Mar 30, 2008
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All these things get annoying after you´ve read them a hundred times. I think FEAR had one telling you that you could use the slow-motion for you advantage in a fight.
I remember that Oblivion, on the other hand, had some useful loading-screen tips like information about special abilities of certain skills etc. which are not that painfully obvious.
 

videot76

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Aug 20, 2008
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The good ones from Baldur's Gate 2 have already been said, but there's another tip in that game that appears JUST BEFORE loading - about EVERY SINGLE TIME you tried leaving a screen.

"You must gather your party before venturing forth."

Said aloud. By a voice that was annoying the fifth time, let alone the fiftieth.
I believe the first mod ever released was one that got rid of that particular piece of rather obvious information.:)
 

chuckman1

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Jan 15, 2009
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"Wanna rock out with a friend? Buy another Guitar Controller."
EDIT
or "OK they're not heckling you they really want Free Bird."
 

sgtshock

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Feb 11, 2009
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Not a loading screen, but every first kill you get on a map in CS:S will earn you a message saying something like: "You killed an enemy! Kill all enemies to win the round."

Really? I thought we had to negotiate with them to end the conflict without bloodshed!
 

Abercromby3

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Mar 12, 2008
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I HAVE THE BEST ONE EVER

dont ask me while i was playing this, i was acheivement whoring probably, but on the old xbox 360 title Prey, when loading the multiplayer games one common tip was:

'Be Aggressive: Kill Enemies'

sounds like a bad advice dog :L
 

Darkmark44

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Nov 26, 2008
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I remember one on guitar hero III.

"good luck" when you attempt dragonforce. I thought it was funny for a bit...then it gets real old.
 

The Black Adder

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Sep 14, 2008
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Spirultima said:
oliveira8 said:
Spirultima said:
"Smoking is a danger to you and and all around you, be sure to use an ashtray"

(Solid Snake flicking the tip of the cigarette on the floor)
Thats actually a good tip...
Well it goes without saying, BUT Snake is kinda defeating the purpose of the tip.
He's a bad ass so he can do whatever he wants. But he does extinguish it by putting into a cigarette butt holder.
 

dthvirus

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Oct 2, 2008
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The Sims I think:

Loading: Shotgun...
Loading: more loading messages...

Also, Fallout death messages:

"Time to reload!"
"I hope you saved, because you're dead."