Worst loading screen-tip

[Eldritch Warlord]

Not a loading screen-tip, but a tip:

I'm playing Halo 3 online and the hint pops up "Press B to drive the Warthog," three things are very wrong with that:

1) I've played 478 games at this point, do you really think I don't know how to drive a damn Warthog?

2) What kind of newb uses Bumper Jumper?

3) Did you notice that I've been driving the Warthog for about 30 seconds now?

Also:

Dinosaurs eat meat ~ Turok

Thanks fucking Eisenstein, I thought Velociraptors drank earl gray tea and ate tofu.

To be fair to Turok (he could use some support) the tip was "Dinosaurs eat meat, you are meat. Run away"

A little funny the first time. Unfortunately the game has few tips to offer and many loading screens to display them in.

 

[fernie240]

not so much a tip but the bits of resident evil history (in re5) that give you 1 second to read them are annoying and pointless

 

[ManiacalZManiac]

Can't Remember Which Game It Was From, But I Think It Went "Shooting From The Hip Is Less Accurate Than Shooting Down Sight"

 

[SharPhoe]

[HEADING=2]You were killed by a grenade, watch out for the grenade danger indicator.[/HEADING]

This.

 

[Pseudonym2]

Jade Empire says something along the lines of "you must understand the moral basis or a martial art style to master it."

Alternatively, you can press A a lot.

 

[Johnmw]

"A master of blunt can perform a sidewys paralyzing attack" - Oblivion. Both funny and, as the fiorst tip i saw in the game, thoroughly unhelpfull. Praises go to Fable 2's: "A Hero can survive falls that would kill orginary people@ (not exact but its still excelent in it's placing)

 

[McClaud]

"Use keys to open doors."

First used in Gauntlet, but when used in various other RPGs, it gets annoying very quickly. Oh shit? A locked door requires a key? Since WHEN?!?!

"If you get stuck, find a walkthrough on the Internet for help."

Can't remember what game said that, but it was a RPG. Thanks. What if I don't have a PC, fuckers?

 

[Guitarmasterx7]

press start to continue. Because I was playing fuzion frenzy.

 

[SimuLord]

Oblivion - "People will like you more if you have a high Personality." Really? I would never have guessed!

 

[Starke]

There is a tip in Oblivion. It lies...

"A high Willpower allows you to defend against magical attacks."

It doesn't do that.

I think it did that in Morrowind, but I don't remember.

 

[Skizle]

i think this was from Oblivion, but im not sure
"People don't like it when you steal their things" I would have never guessed

 

[Azazcyh]

Falling off high buildings can kill you.
Can't remember what game that was but it was annoying as hell.

 

[The Wooster]

Be aware that the pyro's flame thrower does not work underwater.


Well god fucking damn.

 

[Jaedon]

Warhammer Online: "The Tome of Knowledge is watching you, recording everything you do.."

Made me paranoid. Spent the last few months in intense therapy. If that isn't the definition of the worst loading tip I don't know what is.

 

[Lucane]

It's a tip from a Loading screen but not from a game but it's all that comes to mind and not really bad either but it's sorta on topic right?

"Kerri's Big Invention" http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/135265 by Legendary Frog.

Read a book! Strike a pose! Hug a dollie! Make a flash movie! Poinr at something! Donate! Turn the other way! Try on your old clothes! & Try to make it load faster!

 

[Archemetis]

"I prayed 20 times today, but It's nothing compared to my record of 49 times" - Overheard from a citizen of albion"

It's not so muhc a Tip as it is a complete waste of my time to read.


Kinda like all the tips in Fable 2...

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

There is a tip in Oblivion. It lies...

"A high Willpower allows you to defend against magical attacks."

It doesn't do that.

I think it did that in Morrowind, but I don't remember.

It did in Morrowind, since it didn't affect magicka regeneration, since it didn't regenerate unless you were sleeping.

 

[ljaysmith]

"Smoking is a danger to you and and all around you, be sure to use an ashtray"

(Solid Snake flicking the tip of the cigarette on the floor)

Thats actually a good tip...

Well it goes without saying, BUT Snake is kinda defeating the purpose of the tip.

Hes being a perfectly good role model.

 

[Ionami]

Hmm...probably the one from oblivion which tells you that Running is louder than Walking whilst sneaking..Well done bethesda for working that one out.

To be fair, it's possible that one might think that it may not have been built into the game mechanics...

 

[Abedeus]

"We interrupt your gaming session to bring you this Awesome Rare Rainbow Advert Of Awesomeness. Enjoy!"

Okay, those names refering to the ad are not exact, but that's Dungeon Runner - a game where it's fun to watch loading screens.